Very Bad Morning

I woke up this morning & i miss Terry so much it hurts. It will be 7 weeks tomorrow since he died after an accident in Miami on holiday. I feel like the realisation has just hit me & I can’t stop crying I just want to see him hug him chat to him. Is this normal ?

My wife died 8 weeks ago tomorrow and I feel exactly the same - I still can’t believe she’s gone. I chat to her all the time and kiss her photographs. I haven’t had the big cry yet. Just random sobbing. I wish it would come. Sending you all the comfort I can in this awful time we are going through.

Thanks Haycups I feel like I’m going mad. I know it’s only early for us both but I feel like it’s getting worse. I don’t want to get out of bed I just want to wallow.
I’m going to the football without him today, the first time. It’s also Memorial Day where they have a minutes silence before the match for all supporters who passed in 2016 I’m dreading it but don’t want to miss it as his name will be on the screen. My daughter is coming with me so I won’t be alone but I know I’m going to be a mess.

I hope you can also get some comfort today. Sending love X

Hi Sued - I know just what you mean. It feels like it’s never going end. I think it’s fantastic that you’re going to the football, a real positive step forward. It’s so hard going to shops and places for the first time and I think you’re very courageous doing this and especially on Memorial Day.

Sally used to love Costa and we went every day. I went in for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I was dreading it. The Barista asked if I wanted the usual and I said just a flat white and burst into tears. I’m a big bloke and this poor young girl must have felt so awkward - but she leaned forward and squeezed my hands and the people in the queue were so sympathetic.

The kindness of strangers can be a very powerful thing.

I hope that today will bring you great comfort and that you feel the love of all those people around you.

I haven’t been to Costa since that day, but you have inspired me Sued - so I’m going to call in later and raise a flat white to you and your family.

Sending love back X

Hi Haycups, I think you were courageous going to Costa the first time. I do hope you managed to go again today, but if not you will go again.
We went to the football & it was tough, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought & I do tend to hold it together more when my daughter is with me. She tells me to get my “big girl pants” on.

I was glad I went Terry would have been proud of me, & we won which helped.

We’ve got to go at our own pace & you are right the kindness of strangers is powerful & sometimes surprising.

I wish you a peaceful evening we can only take this painful journey one step at a time. As one of my dear friends said in a text to me when today " you’re are not going backwards Sue , just not pointing the right way yet cos there are no maps or compasses"

Goodnight X

Hi Sued - I didn’t go in the end - I lost my nerve… My sister is coming down tomorrow, so I will go in with her. I think it’s easier than going on my own.

Terry would have been so proud of you - I think it’s fantastic that you went…

Hope you’ve had a good day today - and a good night’s sleep tonight.

X

Thanks Haycups I hope you have a good day with your sister.

I thought I was doing ok today until one of those freak waves crashed over me.

How was yours ?

I’m meeting a friend of my sisters tomorrow who also lost her husband in a car accident but quite a few years ago. I’m hoping this may help me a bit.

Goodnight X

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