Very frightening

I have been using this site for about 2 months since the death of my husband in April and the support and frendleness has been wonderful I am hoping someone can understand my new anxiety now the evenings are drawing in I’m afraid that I want be able to cope through the winter and Christmas I am so frightened this will be the first Christmas in 54 years without my husband i don’t know if I’m going to be able to get through as every day is a day nearer I have a lovely family so feel very selfish but can’t seem to stop the fear thank you for giving me the oppertunity to say this
Marian x

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Hi Marian. My wife died last November and Christmas was difficult after so many years. The pain of seeing others celebrating often accentuates our feelings of loss.
I have no immediate family but I have amazing friends. I was invited to so many places but I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and memories. I realise now I should have accepted more invitations.
May I suggest a day at a time. Anticipation can cause anxiety. Fearing the future is a major problem in grief. Christmas is a long way off, so just live day by day until it comes.
If you allow this anticipation to build over the next five months, and the fear that’s associated with it, you will feel miserable. Can you talk to anyone in your family about how you feel?
Two months is so short a time to be thinking of the future. Give it time. One day, even one hour at a time.
Take care. Blessings.

Thank you so much Jonathan I know you are right about one day at a time I do hope this will be a easier year for you I have found so much support and love from people l have never meet its helped me through some of the darkest days I have ever had thank you again Jonathan my thoughts are with you take care
Marian x

Hi. Like Jonathan I lost my husband in November and I dreaded Christmas. I actually quite liked taking my dogs out early evening and looking at the lights and tree’s in peoples windows/houses. It did cheer me a little. My grandchildren insisted that the tree, lights and decorations came out of the loft and was put up in my window which I was pleased about but it was difficult as Brian always enjoyed doing the tree. I wanted to spend Christmas day alone I wasn’t going to be good company but my family came and fetched me to join them. It was hard but I was pleased I managed a couple of hours.
I am considering volunteering this Christmas perhaps the Salvation Army, homeless or similar if there is anything local. Might help.

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