Visiting a medium

Losing a partner
#1

Tonight I went to see a “Mediumship Show”. Due to an outbreak of covid, there were only 17 of us there, and the medium said she would be able to do everyone. It wasn’t quite what I expected, as she singled people out of the meagre audience to tell them stuff from a spirit who knew them.

I waited for her to get to me. She never did. I was one of the few who wasn’t contacted by someone.

I went with a friend who is a bit psychic herself and she said that Trev, my husband, was there, but that he didn’t want to speak. She said she saw her father and told him to go away. She said that she has seen my husband in the pub with me, and that he is always with me. Why don’t I know this? There are no signs.

My friend’s view is that it is too soon, that he was taken before he was ready, and very quickly, and that for me, six months is not long enough. I don’t know if she was just being kind, but I really wish I had had the chance for him to speak to me.

At the end of the evening, we talked to the medium, and she does private readings. The thing is, do I contact her and have one? Or do I take my friend’s advice, and wait a while until my husband and I are ready to communicate.

He was the love of my life and I find it hard to face each day, knowing he is not there any more. We were soulmates and loved each other since we were 17 years old. He recently passed after we had been together 45 years, and I cannot let him go. I don’t sleep. Toast or eggs seem the best things to eat unless I’m in the pub, and I drink too much. I really don’t see the point of it all, and wonder if I would feel a little easier if I could just talk to him one more time. Shall I contact the medium? I don’t know. I know we all share this awful grief on this site, and appreciate more than I can say the support I’ve had from you all, but I just don’t know what to do now.

I would like to hear others views on this, which may or may not influence me. But I know I’m weak because I want to do it. I’m just not sure how much I believe.

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#2

Sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband. When did he pass away?
I lost my mom in Jan this year and in a bad state ever since. She was only 58. I am planning to see a medium too.
I watch Matt Fraser videos on YouTube and he said we should wait a year after their passing as the souls go into a 'life review ’ phase and they might not come through. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t in this period.
I asked some other people who went to the medium in the first 6 months and they were able to connect.
If that medium has good ratings then she will let you know if the connection is not happening and be honest with you. If I were you, I would go now and then again in a year and keep trying until the connection is made.
Please let us know what do you decide and if you go to her please share your experience.
Take care!

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#3

I did contact her, and she suggested a face to face meeting, but after agreeing this, I have heard nothing.

I have, I think, come to terms with the fact that my Trev didn’t want to talk to me, so maybe he wasn’t ready. So I haven’t chased up the fact that I haven’t heard from her. I think I may wait a few months and try again.

In some ways, his refusal to talk to me has helped me come to terms with it all. I am a little different now, and am trying to move forward. It doesn’t meant I don’t go to see him every day, and talk to him, but I do talk differently to him now. Thank you for your support, I really wanted to make contact with him and am just waiting now.

#4

@Lois99
I have been going to a spiritual church since my husband passed away 4 months ago and I find that going helps me cope with the grief.
Jamie has come through a couple of times but it wasn’t right at the start. I guess the spirit of your loved one needs to feel comfortable coming through and you need to be ready to hear the messages he has to say.
Even though Jamie didn’t come through to start with hearing the messages that were delivered to the other people brought some peace knowing that he might not longer be with me but his spirit is ever present.
Once he came through it was very overwhelming but at the same time I was so happy to hear from him knowing that he’s very much alive in the spirit world.
As I have said keep an open mind and keep going…hopefully he will come through

#5

Thank you Cristianb77. I never have managed to make contact but am learning to live with it. I hope that eventually he will want to contact me, so I think I am ready to hear him.

I still go to talk to him every day and I think that helps me. At least, I don’t cry in public much any more.

It was two years yesterday since they took him in to hospital and told us he had cancer - it changed our lives! He passed away 39 weeks and 4 days ago. Never forgotten and never will be.

#6

Hi. I know this is an old thread but did you ever get a message from him? My partner died unexpectedly two weeks ago and these last few days I’ve become obsessed with mediums and the afterlife x

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#7

I was about to ask the same.
I saw a medium years ago and she told me more about my family than I knew lol. However, my sister in law came with me and asked about her sister in law who had died tragically 3 months prior. The medium told her that it was too soon and that when people die unexpectedly or tragically, they need time in the other side to process and get over it.
Sometimes later while my sister in law was working in sainsburys, a random lady came up to her and said , she is ready to talk to you now!

#8

Shortly after my mam died I dreamt I was walking down a hill with my grandad who had died when I was a child and he told me “she’s not right but she’s ok”, I remember telling my aunt about it and she said sometimes they need to recuperate on the other side. I don’t think too much into it though because we all dream about things that are on our minds during waking hours and know it was probably just on my mind at the time. I always thought if there is an afterlife then they are at peace and fine as soon as they pass over. I don’t even know if I do believe. I talk to him out loud sometimes, usually crying and it feels stupid, almost like deep down I know he can’t hear me :sob: I desperately want to try going to a medium though, I’m not naive, I’m sceptical so I wouldn’t just clutch at vague messages but it would bring me so much peace to know that he is at peace and he still cares about me. I’ve been feeling so guilty these last few days because I keep thinking of all the times I moaned at him for silly little things, all the times I took him for granted because I thought he would always be here. I wish so much that I’d told him how much I loved him and appreciated everything he ever done for me :sob:

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#9

What you’re feeling is normal, I have all those thoughts. I keep a diary and talk to Rich through that. I also feel guilty and wish I could go back and redo my life with him and be more in the moment, go out and chat with him in the garden, be more involved in what he was doing. Lots of things. But I’m looking through the eyes of the broken. If he was still here, I would probably be doing the same things lol as I wouldn’t know what it was like to lose him!

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#10

Hi LostLil
No, I’ve never got a message from him. It’s been 18 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, and I still always hope for a sign, but nothing. I didn’t visit a medium in the end, but towards the end of last year I got so low I spoke to our local vicar. I’d never spoken to him before, and am not a church goer, or even a proper believer really, but he listened as I cried, and then he asked me if I thought it would help to talk to others like me. It’s the closest I’ve come to counselling! He is a genuinely GOOD man, who created a bereavement support group in my small community from meeting people at funerals or like me just needing to talk.

I attended the first meeting, not really expecting much, but by then I was ready to try anything. In fact, we are a small group of about eight who meet once a month and I am starting to form friendships with them. We are all in the same boat, and all coping to some extent in our own ways. But it has widened my very small social circle, and got me out and about. I now to to a keep fit group with some of them, and we’ve formed a small walking group to get some fresh air. We help each other with things like moving furniture, or advice on how to do mundane things that our husbands used to do. It really has been very supportive, and I think we now meet as a social group.

I still desperately want to contact Trev, and I’ll never get over losing him. I paste on a smile and get on with life, but it’s different at home. I talk to him, and still cry, but I do believe I will see him again. I think if I didn’t, I wouldn’t carry on. When I last posted, I was going to the shore where I scattered his ashes every day, but earlier this year (perhaps the bad weather made a difference, although it didn’t last year) I found I was only going every other day or so, and now I only go once or twice a week. It doesn’t mean I don’t think of him, but I do it at home now, instead of going out to see him.

I don’t think we ever get over this terrible thing that has happened to us, and I wish I could tell him how much I love him to his face, instead of to his ashes, but in my heart I know he loved me too and he would not want me to stop living just because he had to leave me.

Sorry for the ramble - I still keep a diary so I can talk to him through that, and let him know how I feel and what I’m doing, almost like he was still here. Try to be strong everyone, the pain will never go away, but it does get easier to live with.

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#11

Since seeing you mention Matt Fraser on this thread I’ve become obsessed with him. I am sceptical and I am aware him and his team could be scouring people’s social media for clues but there’s just something about him that really makes me think “what if?”
It’s a shame he’s booked out for five years for his private readings but he also does online group readings for 19 dollars where you get a chance to be picked for a reading if your “loved one comes through” I’m so tempted! I’ve watched all of his videos on his Facebook page and they are all so convincing, the people getting the readings are always so genuinely emotional too. This one is my favourite one