Waiting for something to happen

It’s been 5 months to the day that I lost my beautiful girl suddenly at only 27 years old . I was with her for 6 years .

There’s not a minute goes by that I don’t think of her , the absolute disbelief is still there that she’s never coming back , how can this be …
I couldn’t go to her funeral as she was back in her home country when she died and covid stopped any travel for me.

There hasn’t really been any closure and I still have the overwhelming feeling of waiting for something to happen , almost like there’s a surprise around the corner …
Does anyone else keep thinking the same I wonder …
I still talk to her like she’s still there , perhaps that’s a mistake and adds to the element of continuous apprehension .

Just wondered if anyone else is waiting for something to happen


I am so sorry, your pain must be intense.

There is no road map for grief, no timeline, nothing like that.

I am about 1.5 months further along the road than you are. I feel as if my life has been split in half, a half that has gone forever until eternity, the other half has to keep going, because we had 3 dogs and I simply could not abandon them.

I choose to believe in God, many others don’t. But Buddhism can give you some ideas, if you could read a book on it, or find a good site on the internet. There is one called Samye Ling that is close to my house in Scotland - try that???

Lockdown makes everything so much worse. The loneliness is affecting everyone in the UK - and the entire world apart from these lost tribes in places like Amazonia, etc…

I can only let you know that I am about 35 years older than you, I guess. Your agony will slowly turn into pain, as the grief floods through you you feel like a carousel or one of these things that children play with. Please consider asking your GP to refer you to a grief counselling service. There is an online video run by Sue Ryder, but that is only 6 sessions.

My GP sent me to the community mental health team, who have been brilliant. If that’s what your GP suggests, please give it a try. You can always decide not to participate, also to ask for another nurse because probably you need a female and not a male.

I’m sorry, but I have to go now. I have to walk the dogs, feed them and then get to an appointment at 10.20 am.

With love,

Christie xxx

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Thank you Christie , all good advice and I take it on board .
I’ve definitely started to feel more spiritual and started thinking more that way since she passed
The thought that I may see her in some form again picks me up … who knows
I hope you enjoy the dog walk , take care

Hi Jo,
You are not alone with your feelings of despair.
My partner passed 7 weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to be with him when he died and attended his funeral, however, I still think he’s coming back.
In reality, I know that won’t happen but just can’t accept my life without him.

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That’s the thing isn’t it Paula , we still think they’re coming back , I keep thinking the same , never in a million years did I think anything like this would happen , just goes to show dosent it … take care x

Hi all
It’s been over 2 years now since my husband died
You do learn to live with the loss
I know it’s all so raw for you all
I couldn’t turn to religion as I’m so angry still at God for taking David
He was such a kind and loving partner he didn’t deserve to die he had so much to live for children and grandchildren
But I do smile when I see feathers in the garden I feel it’s him letting me know he’s ok

I keep myself busy think that’s the only way to cope
Working visiting family and friends and yes cleaning the house

But when I get home and want to share my day with the love of my life he’s not there
that’s so hard

I am sorry to say the heartache will never leave you

Talk if you need too
Cry when you need too
Do what is best for you
Then you can survive the grief

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I couldnt turn to religion either. Mel was a good kind man. Never hurt a sole. Why did god take him from me? And if there is a god, why did he make him suffer like that?


Try and not get angry
It’s not going to bring him back
And it will make you ill
I was so bitter when David died
Just like you why him
I was lucky if you can call it that
I heard a noise and found David at the bottom of our stairs
I tried to save him but I knew in my heart he was dead he had an aneurysm
he’s not living if you can call it living more like existing through this nightmare
So that’s the only thing that makes me happy

Mel had covid. Went in to hospital. Was there 18 days. Doctors had no compasion at all. Rang me and said he had been given morphine. Said if you get here quick you might get to say goodbye. I got literally 10 minutes with him. The treatment of him was awful. He spoke to me on phone and said he wanted to come home. He was upset. I couldnt care for him when he needed me. I will always feel responsible for hus death as i took him to hospital, as instructed by doctor, even though he didnt want to go. He was a strong, kind and loving man. He adored animals and nature and people loved him. He couldnt even have a decent funeral or a wake. Why did god make him suffer??? He never done any bad in his life.

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That’s so awful how you both were treated
No compassion
How could they treat you like that
But on the positive side you got to say goodbye
My mum died 9 months after david passed
She walked into an ambulance by the time we got to the hospital she was in a coma
When the doctor told us she said she’s. Had a good life !!!
A good life if they did their job right she would still be alive
Our mum was transferred to another hospital but she never came out of the coma
We had to fight the hospital to keep her alive they gave us 5 days then turned her breathing machine off
So we never got to say goodbye
I never got to say goodbye to david

So please don’t think of the negative thought
You did the right thing he had to go to hospital
He would of known you loved him
And he’s not suffering now
Sending my love

Hi scotti, That is awful. Not getting to say goodbye . I was lucky with that. I know he loved me very much and i loved him so much to. He was my soul mate and i miss him so much. To lose both your mum and david so close is so sad. So sorry you had to go through that. The emptiness it leaves behing is heartbreaking :broken_heart: