Watching someone pass away

Thank you.

As i sit here day and night watching my beautiful lovely wife slowly slip away.
I realise that love truely is so very important, money, status, power have no effect here and now.
My wifes world has become a bed a small table and the help of wonderful nurses and NAs, and the love of family and friends.
I was the one trying to keep up with the neighbours, i got an expensive for us car after my mum passed away telling myself i deserved it as we didnt smoke and drank alcohol rarely, “a small pleasure in life”.
It means nothing now, my wife was happy to make do with what we had and didnt want flashy expensive presents or items, i feel such a fool now.
Im sure we all say and mean it when we say, i would gladly give up all i own to keep my loved one, would happily swap places as she has so many friends, and is needed by so many people.
I never told her or showed her i loved her enough, we tell one another constantly now, clutching at straws…
Cancer has stolen our intemacy for some time now also, during a fitful sleep my wife was motioning kissing, when she woke i asked her who she was kissing, you she replied… … (broke my heart)!
If i can ever learn anything from anyone, i hope and pray i can learn to be able to love completely and unconditionally.
My wife and our loved ones may have
need to go to a higher purpose to help others learn this also.
Im crying now so will hope we all find some peace and love somehow somewhere at some point.

Chris

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@Ollie1
I am so very sorry you are going through this immense pain. I understand because I saw my dear husband slip away in very much the same way last January. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. He passed away in my arms and I will never recover from seeing my wonderful man leave me like that.
Sending love, you are in my thoughts.

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Thank you.

Hi Ollie1,

My beautiful one died in our home, surrounded by her family, she was ok on the weekend and declined Monday to Wednesday, Thursday and Friday she slept until her youngest daughter arrived from Australia, then 4 hours later she left us.
Like others, I had stepped into the office as I was on the phone to 999 in the vain hope they could do something to keep her with us for a bit longer, but now I realise that was selfish. She fought Cancer so bravely, and in was in pain as it had spread throughout her body, she sensed the peace around her, as her Mother, her children and I were all present at home when she passed away. I wished her well on her journey to a higher dimension, from where she now looks after all of us.
She told me that she should not die, but transform, like a Caterpillar to a Butterfly, and now I see Butterflies every day.
Like you, I am totally with you, on the watching the decline, it is awful anticipatory grief.
Hold her hand and know that there will always be a part of her within you, you carry her in your mind, soul and heart. I hear her and I feel her.
Keep in contact on here or with friends and family, it is important for your self care.
I am thinking of you, I feel your agony.
Ramble as much as you need to, please express yourself, we are here to listen and accept your feelings.

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Hi Ollie1 - so, so sorry for you. This is the most horrendous thing you will ever live through, stay strong. You are right things, possessions, money mean nothing at all compared to the people we love. But we all never ever thought this heartache would happen to us, we just enjoyed our lives. I know I never ever dreamt I would lose my darling husband, until we were given that heart braking diagnosis of cancer, then our world imploded.
Keep kissing her & telling her you love her, do not have any regrets.
At the end I ended up begging my dad to take him, as I could not stand watching him suffer. And to this day I feel guilty about that. But in reality I knew he would not live much longer. Ironically he died on the same day as my dad, which in my mind I knew he would & I believe my dad took him. He loved my dad so much & my dad loved him like a son. (I am crying as I type this & it is 2 years ago for me) But all this gives me some comfort.
Reach out here as much as you need. We really do all know what you are going through.
Take care & keep strong.
Alison xx

Thank you all for your help and thoughts.

My wife is so brave…through all of this she continually reminds us all that she will be guiding, helping and looking after us all from above.
Her dad died when he was 59 and my wife was early 30s, my mum of 79 passed away 5 months ago from cancer,
So i know my wife will be in safe loving and caring company when she no longer needs to fight the blasted cancer.
One day i hope and look forward to being with her again in the after life.

Thank you all for listening and caring.

Chris

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Its hard how life changes on us, i was diagnosted with prostate cancer in 2018, i have my prostste removed and all monitoring is so far good, ut after the operation my beautiful wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. A disaster hit us. She was fighting for 3.5 years and passed 18 july 23, she wanted ro be at home so i was lucky i could care for her and she passed 07:28am in my arms. I felt thise last three weeks were the worst of my life, seeing her suffer, i am in so much pain now even though i knew she would pass. I long to be together again asap and have lots of signs she is around, her in spirt and me in physical. Its not easy at all and i dont think it ever will be. Our little opportunities to speak between sleeping and pain really help me now and we talked all the time that we could. I hope you get opportunity to say all you want together and plan as much as you can. X

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