Wedding rings

Hello there, I am sitting at my desk, looking at the papers and notebooks thinking, again, I must tidy this up. I glanced at my wedding rings and remembered.

When Tom was in the hospital during those last months, he and I both lost a lot of weight. His wedding ring kept slipping off, so he asked me to take it home to keep it safe. Mine was doing the same. I came home with them both, opened the drawer in my bedside table, and popped the rings in, without thinking. It was another blow along the way, one more, on top of way too many. We lost so much. In the weeks after he died, I went to the drawer to look for something else.

There, in the corner, at the front, were the rings. Mine inside his, a perfect fit. I had not intentionally placed them like that. Those rings, together, like he and I - completely in sync, the one completing the other. Tom’s ring, encircling mine, was a sign of how he protected me and kept me safe. And now he was gone. It was such a painful yet beautiful sight.

In an instant, I knew what to do. I took them out and down to the jeweller that had sold them to us, just over a year before. I asked for the rings to be joined together, mine inside his. I now wear them as a single ring, on my right hand, with my engagement ring, a beautiful sapphire that changes colour with the light.

Sometimes, people wonder what to do with the wedding ring of the one they have loved and lost. This solution works really well for me - and I feel I have Tom’s protection still. Loads of love everyone, keep going x

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What a beautiful idea, I love this. You will always have him with you :heart:

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That’s a brilliant idea! That could 8nspire some others to do the same.

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I’ve worn my wife’s ring on a neck chain ever since l lost her 11 years ago. She’s always with me.

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Hello @Gazza - thank you for posting and for joining us. While all of us would rather not be here, what we find is welcome, acceptance, support and kindness. I hope you are ok today. Very best wishes,
Vancouver

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Thanks for your response, we’re certainly all in the same place. Grief is just love that is no longer returned and comes from the heart.

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I still wear my wedding ring and I expect I always will but your idea seems a great way of keeping your Tom with you

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Hello there, @Normtheshrink - welcome - it is good to have you with us. Thank you for your kind comment - my keeping my dearest, darling Tom with me means everything. I hope you are going well today.

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My husband who was only 57 and we had been told he had terminal cancer. Asked me to leave his on him. He has also asked for me to keep his ashes at home with him till go, hopefully that won’t be too long. And scattered with mine. It is in my will. I have him on the sofa so I can sit next to him and watch T.V. I take him up to bed and put him on his side. Under his pillow. I don’t know if this ok. If I shouldn’t be moving him around and just put him on a shelf in the front room. When I pick him up to bring him downstairs in a morning the pillow next to him always feels warm. I hope it’s because he lies there with me at night. But it’s probably my imagination. Thank you for your positive posts.

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@Rammie It is ok, there is no right or wrong, if having your husband’s ashes with you at all times is what helps you then do whatever you need, to bring you comfort and help you feel closer to him. I am sure he is with you, as my husband is still with me. Much love xxx

Thank you. I don’t know what’s right, wrong or in between. Never thought I would be looking at possibly more years without him than I had with. I have never lived on my own either. And we have no children. How can this be called “life”. I don’t know who I am doing things for. No complaints. No praise. No feedback. No thank you for tea, that was very nice. No good morning. No good night. I feel a burden on friends. No one worries if I get home from work ok or get there ok. It really is a pointless exercise all that I do these days. I have fulfilled his wishes and now I am marking time.

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@Rammie I know everything can seem pointless, and not having him there to care for and share things with feels like an empty hole. I am adjusting to living on my own too after 46 years, all new experiences we have to learn and find a way to adjust. It isn’t easy but then grief shouldn’t be when we lose the love of our life. I battle on because I know that’s what he would want me to do. There are better days now which gives me hope. You have the support of us all on here to help you navigate this journey too, together we are stronger. xxxx.

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Thank you for your kind words. I am doing it for him. As I always did. But I can’t help but think he would hate me being in this much pain due to him. And for me to do whatever I needed to make it stop.
46 years. That is an amazing time to be together. You must miss him awfully. Sending hugs xx

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Normtheshrink
I still wear my wedding ring,and I also buried my husband with his ring on
Sorry for your loss take care
Sue

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Me too. My husband requested he keep his on.

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