Weekend Blues

Another weekend has come around. I’ve had work to distract me a little but broke down when I got in yesterday. We loved Friday evenings; no particular reason, just chilled out together. Don’t know what to do with myself. Can find housework and cooking to do, but don’t really want to do either. I’m also feeling sorry for myself as I had a fall in the week, wet leaves! Haven’t done too much damage, but got upset when the nurse asked me if there was anyone at home to look after me. It is only two months since my husband had died in a and e. Does anyone else worry about who will look after them if they get I’ll?

YES I HAVE primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, i was diagnosed 11th April four years age at age 64, I am now 68, my Richard age 74 when he died on the same date but this year of April 11th was my partner for 20 years, i feel so frightened and lost without him as i am all by myself, even when getting into the shower terrifies me, yes i worry about my safety as i now live way down in the valleys amongst a small very uncaring neighbourhood soon i hope to move but not sure yet as to where…

Jackie…

Hello Hazel

I think we all worry about everything more than we did - when they say a trouble shared is a trouble halved - this is so true of when we lose our partners. We too loved friday evenings - so different from the ones of our younger days. Our ideal Friday was the comfort of the sofa, a takeaway and an evening of talking and laughing - of watching gogglebox or similar - and worrying what time our daughter would get home !! Now I worry alone and cannot watch the programmes we used to. Weekends are different now. I still have my lovely daughter living at home and see my son some weekends - it is more about filling the time rather than savouring it. Today I am hobbling around with a bad back - so do not think it wise to go out in the soggy garden to tackle the leaves. This is also my first winter without him and the house has taken on its cosy feel - and the sense that christmas is coming. I so do not want christmas this year - but what do we do? I have not figured it out yet. But that is a whole new discussion.

Take care xxx

Thank you for your replies. Jackie, I hope you can find somewhere lovely place to live with some nice people around you.

Trish, I too can’t watch certain television programs or listen to particular pieces of music. I’m trying not to think about Christmas. There’s the whole Xmas card thing to think about. Do you make the effort to send them or not bother? I also don’t want to think about the garden. Phil always did the gardening and now I’ll have to tackle it. Take care. Xxx

Trisha I agree with everything you said, simple pleasures, cosy nights, take-aways chatting, no children to worry about just us two.
All gone now, it’s Saturday night, raining, dark all cosy in here, candles lit, no telly on, I can’t concentrate on it !
As you said Christmas is coming, so what, I’d rather hibernate until spring. I can’t do jolly. It’s my first Christmas too without my husband, all my family used to come here every year 11 of us for Christmas Dinner.
It’s been taken out of my hands this year my daughter announced we’re not having dinner at moms it’s too painful. I must remember they’re grieving too, no Dad for Christmas. Only presents will be for the grandchildren,I can’t let them down.

in two weeks it will be 18 months since I lost my husband, i didn’t do Christmas, all the cards I received with the exception of two which were sent to Ada, my pug, went into the drawer, I didn’t send any either nor did I buy gifts. christmas dinner was a Sunday lunch, tv stayed off all day, not intended, just happened. eventually made Christmas dinner on Alan’s birthday, seemed fitting.

we all cope with festivities as best we can, this year I’m thinking about cards and gifts but cannot contemplate putting the tree up, Alan and I did this together with him doing the final touches and placing our decades old Angel in her rightful place on the top. maybe next year. I am making some progress for this year though.

receiving the cards last year addressed only to me really dud.oprn the floodgates, and one particular card really did upset me, was from one of my sisters, she had underlined a sentence in the greeting… ‘have the best christmas ever’ how the he could I? felt it was the.most insensitive thing to do.

this said, we all get through as best we can and that is all anyone can expect.

hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today

blessings
Jen☆

Thanks to you all. I wish so much that none of us were going through this awful time but we can be here for each other. Family and friends try but they don’t really understand. Please take care and try to look after yourselves. Xx

Yes, those cosy nights in on a rotten cold day/night. Lamp on, fire, and trying to find something decent to watch on TV. with a chinese takeaway. One of us probably gone to sleep by 9p.m. All this I still do (no takeaway these days) except that his chair is empty. I keep looking across to say something but he’s not there, so I have a grumble at his photo.
Now I’m a worrier, everything is an effort and yes I worry who will help me if I’m ever ill. Every twinge and ache freaks me. What will happen to my dogs. I tell myself it’s all part and parcel of the grieving process and hope to goodness that one day I will become less of a worryguts or is this me forever.
Weekends I don’t worry about though as I plan something to do. Long walk, trip to town, work on the allotments.
xx

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