Weekends are the worst

Here I am again.Saturday and feeling the immense sadness of missing my soul mate who would have been asking what plans do we have for the weekend. We were both recently retired so every day was a day off but weekends still had a special kind of feeling to do something special. I have managed to get through the week with less pain and started to think that Ed was still with me in spirit and love after receiving a sign of a white feather. Now I am struggling again. I hate Sundays especially. They are such quiet and grey like days for some reason and and I dwell too much on realising I will not see Ed again. I know I should keep myself busy on these days but it’s hard to think of doing anything and friends are with their partners or families enjoying their weekends like Ed and I did. Does anyone else feel like this at weekends ? I am dreading the winter when it is even more difficult to do things because of bad weather. I am grateful for this forum though as at least I can talk to someone who will listen at weekends. And understand.
Thank you everyone.
Liz x

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Dear Liz
I completely know what you mean.
I volunteer on my local park. I was doing it before my husband died.
It has saved my life.
My husband only died in April and the park is a place where I can lose myself either gardening, chatting, walking the dogs. If my fellow volunteers see me in the distance, they give me the space i need.
Maybe if there was something similar near you, it might be worth a try.
We’re not experts or real gardeners but we crack on , put the world to rights and, dare I say it, have a laugh.
Sending best wishes to you.
Louise

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Dear Louise
Thank you for your kind words. I have thought of volunteer work but that also seems scarce at weekends. It just seems worse at weekends as all I see are couples out together enjoying each other like Ed and I used to. Seems so unfair but at least I had ten years of enjoying my Ed doing the same . I like to think he is all around me and we are still together just that I cannot see or touch him . So many of us on here suffering sadness together but also supporting each other with words and thoughts. Thank you again Louise.
Liz xx

Dear Louise
Thank you for your kind words. I have thought of volunteer work but that also seems scarce at weekends. It just seems worse at weekends as all I see are couples out together enjoying each other like Ed and I used to. Seems so unfair but at least I had ten years of enjoying my Ed doing the same . I like to think he is all around me and we are still together just that I cannot see or touch him . So many of us on here suffering sadness together but also supporting each other with words and thoughts. Thank you again Louise.
Liz xx

You are very welcome Liz. If ever you are in the Trafford area, you would be very welcome to join us. I hope you manage to get through the weekends. It is hard.
With best wishes
Louise x

You are very welcome Liz. If ever you are in the Trafford area, you would be very welcome to join us. I hope you manage to get through the weekends. It is hard.
With best wishes
Louise x

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maybe if you’ve only recently retired perhaps a job at weekend. I lost my partner in May and have done my 2nd day back at work, which are Fridays, Saturdays and sundays. I am on annual leave at the minute so I too am finding weekend hard. I find it hard in the week because we would be out every Monday to Thursday and now i’m just stuck in my 4 walls with my thoughts. My family are no help. My weight has dropped from nearly 11 stone to 8st 3lb so none of my clothes fit me. My life now revolves round watching tv which we rarely did and texting a couple of people on my phone. Its all right saying keep busy. That is probably an answer but you can only do so much housework and find yourself asking why. Why do we need to do it. Why should we put on a brave face when we don’t feel like it. Why should we be happy for other people when our happiness has been cruelly taken away from us. Why should we care about anything ever again. Why, a little word with a big meaning. I think I will prefer the winter when I can close my curtains and shut out the world. My partner was retired but not until he was 72. He was 77 when he passed away and his birthday is coming up at the end of the month but haven’t a clue what I will do that day. May be voluntary work would be something to consider to fill your weekends. Hope you find a solution to help you feel better in yourself. Take care. Janet x

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Hello my name is Jenny and I’ve never posted before but your post could be mine. I lost my husband last September he was 66 and died a horrible death but was so brave and fought to the very end. We had bought a new motorhome the year before and had so many plans for our retirement. I am so lonely without him and miss him so much. The weekends really are the worst he died on a Sunday which I think makes it worse. It will be his birthday on 14th and the anniversary of his death next month. I really don’t know how I am going to get through it. I hope this post makes sense because I am writing it while crying my eyes out and can’t see what I’m writing. It has been a particularly long day today I just don’t know what to do with myself

Hello Jenny
I wish I could give you a positive answer to this awful journey we share . It’s Monday now and my Ed passed away on a Monday but really every day is a sad day to me. Sunday’s are the worst. Like you we had such plans for a fun future but we were robbed of them. I read somewhere that instead of counting the days since I lost him I should count the days I am getting nearer to being with him again. I just want him back but that won’t happen. We never got the time to talk about a lot of things during his brief illness because he was so ill most of the time so I torture myself with guilt and what ifs. I do want to remember our memories with a smile but it seems impossible just now. Like you I am dreading anniversaries and Christmas but I can only take each day as it comes and hope I will feel stronger eventually. I do get a comfort through this forum when people reply to me. No one has the answer to our pain but being able to talk openly about it helps a lot. Keep in touch Jenny. And take care of yourself.
Liz xx

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