What a mess I am in

Everything happens at once.

The Central heating has stopped working, the kitchen sink is leaking, the tap won’t stop dripping and now all my smoke alarms fitted by the Fire Service are bleeping.
I have a plumber, gas engineer and the fire service coming today to sort it out, Goodness knows what the neighbours will think when a Gas van, plumbers van and a fire department van rolls up outside my house. Why does it happen on one of the coldest nights of the year. Thank Goodness for my Peter, he always said we needed two kinds of heating, Gas central heating and an electric built in fireplace in both rooms and extra heaters for upstairs in case of emergencies. Well, on they all went, if I had not had electric fires god knows what I would have done, I would have frozen to death, The only problem is if the electric goes off I would have no heating at all as gas boilers are connected to electric supplies.

These things are sent to try us but luckily, I have got a full grocery order coming today with no items missing so that has cheered me up.

Love to all, keep safe.



Hello Sheila, Despite the problems with your heating it sounds as if you have got it all in hand and the right people are coming to help you. It probably feels like the end of the world when all these things go wrong as there is only us to sort it. My daughter always used to tell me that there is always somebody that will help you if you slow down and think things through. She is so right. Take it slowly and it will all get done. Take care.x

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Hi sheila.
Well i would say that you have the 3 things come at once and that you are in charge of the situation, well done. Keep calm and when the adrenaline run out dont feel overhelmed feel that you can manage quite well. Xx

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Hi Sheila, I hope it’s been or being sorted now. These things always happen together - it’s sods law.

How are you coping with the lockdown?

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HI Sheila,
So sorry to hear of all your troubles,but you have the proffesionals coming so hope it will be sorted.
These things always happen at once, and we don’t need it when we are on our own.
Don’t worry about the neighbours give them something to talk about.
Hope you don’t end up with a big bill to pay.
Thinking of you.

Hi everyone, Thank you for your kind thoughts. Central heating sorted, it was a loose wire in the thermostat. New washer fitted on tap and the pipes under the sink had become loose from the plug hole which is held in place with a screw and had come a bit loose so the so water was running outside the pipes instead of down them. The cost was minimal to be honest and the Fire service smoke detector alarms have been replaced free of charge. So all’s well that ends well.

I had told our sons what had happened and that it had now been fixed so they now want the numbers, of my gas engineer, plumber and the Fire Department number for their area as they said that the service I got was exceptional, especially with the Covid 19 pandemic and the bad weather and so they want to start using them. It is marvellous when a 78 year old mum gets the problems all sorted out in one day and then her sons wants the companies phone numbers.

I have given myself a pat on the back. Luckily I had all the company’s numbers on my phone as I have used them before.

Thanks to you all again.

Sheila. (Lonely)


Dear Sheila,
Well done, good for you, you took control and sorted it all out, I bet you feel good about yourself.

I’m glad you have your heating especially as it really is freezing these days. Slowly but bit by bit we will get there, take care Margarita xx

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They sound brilliant fair play. Good and reliable plumbers are hard to come by these days.

Glad it’s done and you’re feeling chuffed with yourself. So you should xxx

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Wow Sheila I read your first post and was already planning to post that I think you are amazing organising all that. Then reading the next post I am even more impressed. That your husband still took care of you by having the idea to have the electrical back-up heating is something that even makes me feel a bit warm on your behalf.

Now, how did you find those people? I need to get some numbers in my phone so I can “do a Sheila” when I have a problem instead of doing a Fleur (I’m not sure what I would have done in your situation but it probably would have involved quite a lot more of crying in bed than calling the right people!). Well done anyway, what a triumph.

Thank you.

Peter was ill for eight years before he died and I took care of him 24/7. The carpets, furniture, walls were all damaged during those eight years due to paramedics equipment banging this, that and the other, oxygen cylinders, wheelchair, accidents etc. so when Peter died, the house was in a mess. Just before Peter became ill, we had decided to decorate two of our lounges and chose the paint and paper we wanted, but then he fell ill and it never got started.

After Peter died and all the paperwork was sorted, I decided to fill my time by sorting out the house, I did it all myself, our sons wanted to help but I said just leave me to it. I ripped all the carpets up in both rooms, and got someone to take away the sofas. I got a decorator in which a friend had recommended to me and he decorated both the rooms with the paint and paper Peter and I had chosen many years before. I then went to a carpet store and chose new underlay and carpets. I had all the curtains cleaned and hung back up. I then went and bought new sofas and chairs for the two lounges. I bought new cushions and polished all my furniture and washed ornaments and hung back pictures on the wall.

After it was finished I got in touch with a plumber that had been recommended to me and decided to have a new bathroom installed, I had the bath taken out and a large walk in shower installed and vanity units, he also tiled the walls and the floor.

I then decided to have a new kitchen floor laid, it was cushion floor so I had wooden type laminate floors laid. Because the bathroom was so gorgeous it made the bedrooms look shabby so I painted the walls, the same colour as before and bought new borders. I had new carpets laid in two of the bedrooms. It took me from February 2015, 6 months after Peter died, to November 2015 to have it all finished. I have all the tradesman I used on my phone so I call them if I have a problem. Not once did I ask our sons for help, I wanted to do it on my own.

The problem was, from the day Peter died, I had kept myself so busy that even though I cried and cried, I had so much work to do that I was so tired at the end of the day, I fell into bed and slept the night through. BUT when the house was completely finished, I was totally lost, I screamed and shouted because I had nothing else to take my mind off losing Peter. I had not given myself chance to grieve, I just wanted to keep busy which was the biggest mistake of my life. This is why we are told to give it a year or two after we lose our partners to start making changes, but I didn’t, I got stuck in straight away.

I have survived over six years on my own and will survive whatever time I have left, I have a gorgeous home, thanks to Peter because without our savings, my state pension his Private Pension and insurance he ensured we took out I could not have afforded to do it. He has always taken care of me and is still doing so. I have a lot to be grateful for.

Lots of love.



Wow Sheila
You are a strong lady & have been through so much
I’m so sorry for your loss
Your right you think if you constantly keeps yourself busy it helps
It’s only when you stop slow down the Greif hits you
I hope you got the plumber firemen all service people out
Hope that’s all sorted out now
Especially in this freezing cold weather
Hope you can relax take it easy one day at a time
Take care x

Wow that sounds brilliant and very busy! I bet your children were amazed even more by you. I would have been.


Sheila I am going to rename you Wonder woman, you are an inspiration to us all :kissing_heart:

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Thank you all very much,

I remember our son telling me that when our daughter in law was complaining to him about how much washing there was to do, he said to her, you are only in your 30’s yet my mum is in her 70’s, lost my dad and renovated the house from top to bottom all by herself. I thought, oh my god, she will have loved that I don’t think.


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Thank you, yes I did, all nice and warm now thank goodness, no more leaking sinks and dripping taps.

It will be a cold one tonight -4 deg.C

Take care.



I think I was trying to prove to myself that I could survive on my own. I had lived at home with our parents from being born. On our wedding day I left the only home I had ever known to get married and then went to live with my new husband. All my life I had someone doing things for me and I just wanted to prove I could manage on my own no matter how difficult it was going to be. Our sons called me stubborn but told me they were there if I needed them but I didn’t.


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Thank you so much, the thought of doing it all again makes me shudder.



I feel ur pain 6 months after my husband died everything seemed to stop working properly it did me good to have to sort it all out myself,
I began to feel independent and in control …

Dear Griffo,

I know exactly what you mean. My intention was to start as I meant to go on because I was now living alone and did not want to have to call on our sons everytime something needed doing so I did it.

When anything goes wrong now, it really irritates me, I don’t panic as I have all the workmen’s numbers on my phone and emergency insurance cover over and above my home insurance, it sounds silly, but even though I have all the time in the world to do what I want, the thought of workmen coming to my home is a big inconvenience which I can do without even though they need to be there to do the job. Even going to the doctors for a check up is an inconvenience, I don’t know why, but it breaks into my day and even though I am not doing anything like I say it is an inconvenience. I have learned to live a peaceful, non-eventful life since Peter died, I like my own company, I love to see our sons and grandchildren visit but I like to see them go home again, the only person I do want I can’t have.

Sheila (Lonely)

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