What activities make you feel better?

Everybody needs some ‘me time’ to spend doing the things that they enjoy and that make them feel better. This is even more true when you are coping with the loss of a loved one. You can often have low energy and find it harder to get things done – so looking after yourself is crucial. This is sometimes called “self-care”.

Have you found an activity that helps you to cope? Let us know what it is in the replies.

Here are some ideas that our Online Community users have shared:

“I find long baths sooth me.” – Skylark https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/try

“I make my own soup as find that very comforting and easy to eat. I find making it cathartic as well and enjoyable. Nice smell in the house as well.” – Mel https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/physical-symptoms-grief#post-3352

“A good friend suggested meditation and yoga, I do both for 10 mins each morning and each night.” - JK76 https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement/daze-i-lost-mum?page=1#post-2097

“I do lots of writing which helped and still helps enormously when I’m feeling down.” – Embeth_1994 https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/brother-died-morning-and-my-dad-terminal-cancer-well#post-1511

“I joined a local community gardening group and became a volunteer at the local library. It has been the saviour for me.” - Geofd https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/lost-my-wife?page=2#post-2686

Hi Pricilla,

I have been doing a lot of online Jigsaws. I found a site called Jigidi it is free and there are lots of puzzle categories and sizes.

I do the large mozaics which takes about 1 hour to complete. I find this very soothing especially at night once everyone is in bed and I’m alone. These puzzles aren’t like games which make you alert. Just the trick to occupy the mind and relax me until I am ready for sleep.

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Hi in my me time i go rob banks (nah im only joking no calling 999 please)i go on youtube and watch something called slap cam it makes me laugh i also watch boxsets on tv .pepper ill have a look at that site to see if its robbie williams (let me entertain you lol).Yep today is 1 of my good days Colin

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Hi
I am rather like JK76 but with me I am reading passages from the bible and thinking about them, making it for a set period, say, half an hour - my mind wanders off at times but it does come back to them. It gives me a break from myself, as do the books of talks by the Rabbi Lionel Blue -which also give me a rueful laugh at myself.

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Hi Pepper

LIke the idea of jigsaws online so thank you for that tip. Will sign up with them.

I am a adult colouring book fiend. Am working on one of my Mums which i found and decided to complete for her. Her sight was so bad at the end she couldn’t see to colour properly so doing them for her.

Mel.

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Thanks for sharing, all of you. It is nice to read about all the variety of different activities you enjoy.

Hi everyone
i have gone back to walking i find it helps

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Walking is wonderful especially in the Winter. Rain is good as no one sees you crying! Added benefit of getting one tired so possibility of sleep that night.

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After 3 months and still tearful everyday for my lovely mum I’ve took up swimming and mixing with other people gives me a respite from sadness

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Hi pepper I found the jigsaw site and they will be good come the winter. I have dug some crotchet out though it is years since I did some. I am an avid reader when I can concentrate and as a Christian bible study is part of my life and rock that I cling on
to daily. Thank you all finding that thread helped though the path is dim at the moment and I keep breaking down time will help.

Hi Tirnanog,

Firstly, my condolences for your loss. I am 3 years on now since I first reached out to others on this site. I know everything is a bit raw just now but I am sure you will find compassion and support in these pages.

Thank you for raising this thread again. I still do the jigsaws as I find it really helps me switch off from the day to day but they were invaluable to me in the early days when we lost Mum as they stopped me from thinking or over thinking so I hope your raising this will help give mine and others tips on how to occupy themselves and get out of their own heads.

Keep posting on these pages too, take comfort from them and offer support on them and it will help. I know I felt truly supported when I needed it, the warmth and friendship of others who know your grief left me in awe.

Wishing you warmth and peace

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Hi Pepper

I am still doing the jigsaws too following your suggestion in your original post. Also three years on from losing my Mum and although I still have times when I feel sad I have reached an acceptance for her loss now.

I am really glad to hear that you are doing alright too.

Mel

Has anyone tried a colouring app on their tablet. Completely addictive but helps the mind focus on something else for a while…xx

Anyone tried meditation. I’m trying it but useless, my mind is on overdrive all the time. I use visualisation and sit quietly, I chant (silently of course) for all the things I want out of my life and all the things I want to come into it. I am reading a book about the cleansing of mind and heart which brings acceptance but it sounds hard and can take a long time to master. I need to see someone with more knowledge I think, who can keep me focused. I do it on the beach (to the sound of the waves) early morning, in the woods when walking and today gave it a go in the garden and felt shattered when I had finished so perhaps I am beginning to get the hang of it.
Otherwise I love to be out on long walks with the dogs, which is my therapy and medication.I enjoy exercise like aerobic’s, gym. Love gardening and have a large area to grow vegetable and fruit. Tires me out but keeps me busy… What would I do if I couldn’t keep active, god knows.
When my husband and I did the allotment together we would stagger home, tired out and my husband said one day “I thought this was supposed to be healthy”. I think of his words as I flop down on the settee at night.
Going to give the jigsaw a try, that’s if I can keep awake.
Pat

Hi Mel,

So nice to hear from you. What a long way we have come eh? I just want to thank you for the friendship and kindness you afforded me all that time ago. Yes I too still have my moments. We sold the family home, too many memories and my kids had all moved away so it had to be done. I have a few special pieces that make me smile and reflect on but I am in a much happier place.

All the very best to you & yours (just off to do a jigsaw …)

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