What am I

Hi everyone

I know lots of you know me and about my loss of my mum husband and mother in law in such a short space of time … I don’t post as often anymore with the two little ones and my graves ive not been great …
I just wanted your thoughts … if that’s ok …
some of you will know my husband died 10 months ago at the age of 36 and the circumstances…
my family have got together and paid for a holiday abroad for me and the kids … (lovely surprise we could never afford it ) sorry I’m not getting to the point …

Firstly despite the appreciation I’ve mixed thoughts it will be the first time away without him and we could do with the break …
my friends are obviously encouraging me to go and enjoy … but this last week they have started to ask about my intentions if I was to meet someone out there ( definitely not my intentions) but they had lots of questions will u say your married will u say your widowed will you entertain the notion … they have asked about my wedding ring countless times ( I still wear it ) and they have mentioned and hinted about me moving on … I get the whole your only young Michelle… I know lots of you have mentioned before that your still married no matter what … and I completely respect that … but the kids have mentioned to me now your not married anymore mummy … so this last week I’ve just asked my self what am I …?? …
maybe I’m overthinking it …

Love to you all Michelle

Hi Michelle
So nice to see you posting and how lovely that your family have made such a loving gesture…I hope that you will go and that you will find pleasure in so doing.
You ask " What am I??"… you are you…not the same as you used to be but at heart still the you that you have always been only remoulded and stronger…you are a good person, a great mum and a loving wife whose husband has passed on from this life. You may well meet someone else to love sometime in the future…none of us can tell what will happen to any of us. Just wait and if and when the time is right it will happen. If anyone asks just tell them the truth. I really hope all goes smoothly…please let us know how you get on! God bless you, your children and all those who have shown you how much they care for you x

Ah thank you so much that was such a lovely reply and has made all the difference… I often think that it’s a scary thought to spend the rest of my life alone … but meeting someone else it will never be the same and certainly not for Oliver and Scarlett …I know you know my Situation and the way hey past there’s lots to be angry at him for but the good part of him will never be able to be matched by anyone else … I often think I feel lonely and would like someone to spend time with but I think that’s him missing him …
I hope you are doing ok so nice to hear from you Love Michelle xx

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Michelle I am delighted for you and if you want this holiday then go for it. You deserve something nice. Personally I wouldn’t give it a thought about someone else coming into your life, your probably not ready yet anyway.
You are what you want to be. You are yourself and personally I think it’s a bit premature of your friends to start filling your head with such thoughts/questions. If you are going to meet someone else then it will happen in good time and probably not wise on a holiday. I will just say that don’t rush into anything because you feel lonely. I made a very wrong move when a lot younger than you and left on my own with two small children, how I lived to regret it. So take your time. Why should anybody question you anyway it’s a holiday for you and the children.so enjoy, recharge and relax.
Good luck Pat xxx

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Dear Michelle, there is little I can add to the responses from Amelie’sgran and Pattidot. Wise words from both. Definitely go on the holiday, it really is a wonderful gesture from your family and you and your little ones deserve a lovely holiday. With regards everything else, just go with the flow, who knows what the future holds for any of us. Never say never! Take care Michelle and love to you and your babies xx


Dear Michelle, go for it, nobody can force you to do something you don’t want to do. I believe that you and your children deserve a break, please don’t worry about meeting someone else. I have known a few people who have jumped into another relationship, out of loneliness, my cousin lost her husband in 2008 and still wears her wedding ring, which for her is the right thing to do. She considers that she is still married to her late husband, who was a wonderful man, at a guess she is a lot older than you, but the feeling is there. Sooooooooooo pack your bags and enjoy this wonderful generous gift, a fresh scenery will do you and your children the world of good. Your late husband will be with you. God Bless and love to you and your children; Mary x x xx

Hello Mary. Good on your friend. I have absolutely no intention of taking off my wedding ring ever. Why should I. I have three rings. One is my wedding ring, another my husbands that I gave him and the other is my mothers. So there’s no mistaking that I’m married woman.
Pat xx

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Thank you ladies I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply … underneath my wedding ring I have Gary tattooed very small … it’s the only tattoo I have and have had in 38 years .( I’m not really a tattoo fan on women but each to there own ). it was my compromise to Gary as he had Michelle the whole stretch of his arm and On his chest . and my name under his wedding band … maybe in case he forgot lol… I’m really looking forward to the kids having a good time … and your all right we need the break … while we are away Gary’s birthday and Father’s Day fall on the same day … 21st June … so that will be a tough day … love to u all x

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Well done, Michelle.

Hey Michelleb. I dont know ur whole situation, but from what I ve read, u really deserve a break! Some sun, sand and happiness with ur kids is the best tonic u ll ever have. Best wishes and fun to u and ur kids!:slight_smile:

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