Just sharing what’s on my mind…
Any chance I get I talk about my partner, however I think people feel uncomfortable when I do this… i don’t know what to do as I want to keep his memory alive talking about him but I feel like im being selfish because I feel people feel like im suffocating them with my grief… I don’t know my head is in a mess right now:(
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Dear Libby
I’ve pretty much given up with most people, I know who I can talk about my wonderful husband with and there aren’t many. Our children rarely mention him and our grandchildren never do. Maybe for them it’s self protection or fear of upsetting us. For me I fear him being forgotten x
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Hi @Libbyg
I feel the same and will talk about Heather all the time. Even mutual friends of 30 years (who knew her longer than me) seem unable to do the same - even after I told them I needed them to acknowledge her. I guess they feel uncomfortable, and I can understand that, but it won’t stop me. Like you say it’s important to keep her memory alive. And after what we’ve been through, I think we’re allowed to be a bit selfish.
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I talk about my partner a lot of the time but I do feel that it makes some people feel uncomfortable. I don’t know why as it’s me who instigates the conversation. We’ll never forget our loved ones even though others do and that’s what matters. I always remind them of that.
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Everyone grieves in their own way I guess but it’s so draining feeling like no one understands I know that’s not the truth but it really is the loneliest feeling in the world x
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@Libbyg I still talk about my Paul a lot. I can’t help it - its a normal part of my conversation and I don’t want to lose that.
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Hi Libbyg i think that’s why these place like bereavement groups or walking through grief do so well. People make friends that they can talk to about their life with their loved ones. When we’re going through all this pain I think we also spend a lot of time reviewing our lives with our partners and the natural thing would be to talk to someone about it. Unfortunately nobody wants to listen.
Wishing you all the best
Tom 
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This is a quote from the book Julian Barnes wrote after the death of his wife:
“And this is where the Silent Ones cause further offence. They do not understand (how could they?) that they have a new function in your life. You need your friends not just as friends, but also as corroborators. The chief witness to what has been your life is now silenced, and retrospective doubt is inevitable. So you need them to tell you, however glancingly, however unintendingly, that what you once were – the two of you – was seen. Not just known from within but seen from without: witnessed, corroborated, and remembered with an accuracy of which you are yourself currently incapable.”
Julian Barnes “Levels of Life”
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I loved this book by Julian Barnes, it’s the only one that truly helped me. He was saying everything that I feel about the whole awful grief experience
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Wow
It’s so lovely being able to speak to others who understand how I feel. I hope all our loved ones have found each other in the next life and are comfortable, having plenty of smiles
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I would talk about my partner all day to people if I could. He was a gem. He had so many hobbie talents. In one of our houses, he made the backyard so adorable. It was small, but he made an arbor on one side of it w/ pink flowers climbing up it. At night, the lights would show the flowers. Same yard, he made a small curved concrete trail, too, along w/ a picket fence near the yard flowers. Even w/ a small space, he made it so cute.
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Wow that sounds amazing, he must have been wonderful man thankyou so much for sharing that with me I love hearing stories about loved ones
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