What is it all about

I lost my darling wife last Thursday Nov 2nd , I held her hand at the end in our local Hospice .My family have been wonderful but I feel lost , empty , she was my rock, best mate and soul mate the best day of my life was when I married her 41 years ago. First we had Covid then she became ill and for the next two years I looked after her while she was fighting this dreadful cancer ,we had to be in isolation , no visitors as she had next to no immune system and now she is gone. Will it ever get better as I am in floods of tears at the slightest thing , and the house is full of memories it is so so hard , how do people cope with such a loss I just cannot see how life at the moment will ever be anything like normal ever again

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@Hereford Hi there and welcome to here, it’s a terrible place to find yourself but all of us here can relate to what you will be going through. So sorry to hear about the passing of your wife, it’s such a terrible thing to have to watch them fade before you. Nothing I can say is going to ease that pain. Like you I watched cancer take my wife, she passed away almost a year ago now. In the very early days I was lost and very much in the place you are now, every tea mug was a trigger, every room a nightmare, every memory a searing loss. But it does get easier. You do find a way to go on, it’s hard and it’s effort but it can be done. Try and focus on the now if you can, take things day by day, hour by hour, your emotions will blindside you and will come in waves but they do ease. Try to eat and drink if you can, it doesn’t feel important but it does help.

As I say I was where you are and now I’m able to find joy in life, I still carry the sadness and loss but it no longer consumes me. Keep reaching out on here if you find it helps, we all understand.

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Mate, your grief is still so raw even though you were expecting her death in the near future you may be suffering from shock, as I was , when my Joan died suddenly 9 months ago.
We have to live our lives 1 hour at a time and not think too much about the future, there are reminders of our wives everywhere, especially if we are living in the house where we lived with them but we need to accept that our lives have changed forever, and accept this as difficult as this is.
It does get better but the emptiness never fades,the only advice thet I can offer you is to think that she is not suffering any longer and is at peace, try to get support from any family you have.

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