What is the best, things getting too much

Hello, I am struggling to cope. 18months ago my son died 2days old (I haven’t really dealt with this) and then 7months ago my sister of 20yrs old died suddenly in her sleep. She was my best friend, support and my right arm, we did everything together!! And had so many plans for this christmas. She loved Christmas and was always the one to get me in the festive spirit.
This year my mum doesn’t want to do Christmas, my step dad doesn’t communicate with any of the family and the closest people to me, my nanna and Grandad don’t have much motivation this year so I feel it is all on me.
My Partner is from Ireland and it would be our year to go over there, so he isn’t happy. I really don’t want to do Christmas this year and just hide away but we have also got a 4year old daughter, so Christmas must carry on but how do I handle myself and feelings on the day??
Many thanks in advance and sorry for the essay!

I worried that nobody has replied and I want you to know somebody is listening. Oh my gosh you’ve been through so much, it puts my loss into perspective. But any loss is heartbreaking I know. I hope you’re ok. Take each day at a time. Reach out to people. Be outside. Be kind to yourself. You’ve suffered so much but you’re still here and you’re special to many people I’m sure who’d love to give you a hug. Take care x

Hello Gabby
I am trulysorry for you and all you are going through I hope in some way you managed to get through Christmas it is such a mind field with how you are trying to grieve and thinking about everyone else .
My husband passed away on the 26th of November we were together for 30 years so I am staying with my eldest son my husband loved Christmas and everything about it as do our children I was not wanting to do any thing at Christmas but knowing how much my husband loved it I pushed my self there were tears and laughter and a great amount of memories I which you all the comfort in the world .
Big hud