What to do with belongings

My wife recently passed away suddenly, she was 48 and we had been together for nearly 30 years.
Like any home my wife’s stuff is scattered around the house, ( she was never that tidy, sorry sweetheart)
I just do t know what to do.
Something are easy cloths can stay in the wardrobe I seen and I get comfort in opening it and smelling the clothes even though I know that will fade over time.
Her tooth brush still sits next to might like it always has.
But all the other things and general stuff in the bathroom, on her dressing table. If we had visitors these thing maybe put away, but she left them out unknowing that she was never coming home. She popped to the doctor for a check up and she was gone a week later.

Should I put things away in a draw never to be used again or dispose of them.

Thank you Steve


I am in a similar position. My husband left to go on a run one evening and never came back. All his things are as he left them. It is ok to do what is right for you. I can’t bring myself to put them away yet and won’t do until I’m ready to - not sure when this will be. I think it’s hard when it’s so sudden to get your head round the fact that they aren’t coming back (although it probably is for everyone). I just know that I couldn’t bring myself to throw anything away so they are better being where they are at the moment. Do what’s right for you and don’t rush yourself to do what you think others expect you to do. Take care

Dear Steve

In these circumstances there is no right or wrong. Only what you feel comfortable and want to do. My husband died while out on his motorbike back in September. Everything is as he left things. I still have not been able to remove his clothes from the wash basket, his shoes and dressing down are still in the same place except for when our little grandson comes round and insists on playing with his grandas shoes. His toothbrush is still next to mine. Even in the garage the jackets he wore to keep warm when working in there are still hanging in the same place. I cannot bring myself to move anything and not sure I ever will be. I am more inclined to sort out my own wardrobe so that the kids do not have too much to do when I go.

My husband has a box of things at the side of the bed because we were due to get new furniture. I sometimes open the box and shuffle things around only to find something that triggers a meltdown and abandon the attempt to sort through. Our little grandson uses it as a stepping stool to get to things on the window sill so at some point I will need to at least move it.

Do what is right for you and at your own pace. I note you have a 17 year old daughter and it may be that at some point you might want to look through some of the things together but these are early days in what is a horrible and difficult journey.

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We had plenty of time to sort through things as my husband was terminally ill for a year. I’ve kept little things, like his phone, iPad and watches in a wooden memory box. He loved carved wood and the box sits in the living room. I don’t open it often but it’s nice to know his things are close to me. I sent most of his clothes to a charity shop but I’ve kept one pair of trousers and some of his jumpers. You’ll decide what to do when the time is right. In the meantime just look at his things, or not, and remember him x

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I have asked the family and friends to take any Item they wish that would remind them of my hubby.

Hi Steve very sorry for the loss of your wife so young. I lost my husband 17 months ago we’re all different in our grief but I still have Micks aftershave etc on our dressing table his clothes still in wardrobe it’s only now I’m thinking I have to have a sort out. In your own time
Take care

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