Thank you Deborah,
I would have replied earlier, was a little bit groggy.
(I took a sleeping tablet last night)
My task today is to clean the boys beds and their run. I think that is the one constant I have - making sure their care is still there.
Maybe try do some of the paperwork tomorrow.
I hope this darkness will pass, I know.its not what he would want xxx
Kel2:
My heart goes out to you, at times like this everything is so hard, when it should be made as easy as possible and even very minor things are enormous to us now, not saying any of what you listed is minor ot certainly isn’t, it’s all major.
I can’t imagine what it must be like with the hospital or stepkids. I’m in the same situation as we’d been together 40 years but not married, the amount of things against you was unbelievable. I was just telling someone before, even the funeral I was not the next of kin. I’m not making light of it, but I do want to thank you as today is 6 months since Mark died and you gave me my first smile with your mouse comment and hoping it wasn’t a female!
The good thing about posting here and I hope (no am sure) everybody will agree we are here for each other, don’t ever apologize for having a meltdown (& especially with what you’re dealing with. Big hug xxx
Agreed @Sulane
We ARE all here for each other and that includes at times of meldtdown @Kel2
Sending hugs to all (that’ll keep me busy anyway won’t it?) xxx
Kel2,
I am here for you just like everyone else. Just post whenever you want. This is the toughest times of our lives and any support no matter how tiny will help us. I don’t know if the darkness will pass I cant see a life without my mam so goodness knows how we will all manage.
I have just got out of bed after having a sleepless night with my mind wandering and feeling guilty for so many things
Will keep in touch
Deborah x
As a mere simple male can I just say all you ladies on this sight are incredible.
If the world wants to see girl power in action they should visit this site sending hugs to you all 
Keith 1957,
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you for posting that. It’s so lovely to have a little bit of reassurance sometimes. This site is a site I thought I would never ever be part of and it was by chance I found it. Again I am sure my mam pointed me in the right direction even though she was 89 and had no IT skills lol. It was so strange that the day or two after she passed I stumbled upon this site and even can you believe thought it was some sort of scam. How wrong was I ? I have never even joined any online site before so it was a big big step for me. I quickly became aware that yes thankfully there are other people out there going through this dreadful grief which absorbs your whole life. Knowing how other people feel has made me realise I am not going mad even when I think I am. The comments people post over and over again just to make another persons life a tiny bit better in that particular moment of time is so uplifting and inspiring. The fact that we have all plucked up the courage to seek help from other people and people they have never met is truly amazing. And it’s reaching out to all ages male and female young and old. I found myself opening up on this site far more than i have with family members and in the dark hours of the night when there is no one to actually talk to I have ranted away or written and written how i feel. In the morning what a lovely surprise to find people have actually read my posts and replied.
We all deal with grief differently and get through it in different ways and lengths. This site enables us to be safe with people who understand the trauma that we are in at the moment and will be for many years to come.
I try to respond to as many people as possible and like to think I am helping people in a small tiny way
Deborah x
Believe me you are helping and I know that helping others helps me.
Keep up the great work that you are doing we need each other.
Keith x
Keith 1957,
We certainly do need each other. Words can mean anything . Some bad,good hurtful,sad and so on . By god the words on here are so kind from everyone. It makes me think what a wonderful on line world I have found.
I hope that even if there are people on here who don’t want to post or haven’t so far will identify with us all and find comfort from what other people write and post.
Keep posting
Deborah x
Wise words well said.
@seychelles In my short time on this site I have noticed how many who have joined admitting they need help, end up also giving it. Their grief is not lessened but there seems to be a contagious empathy between contributors bonded by the same pain and internal loneliness. We end up helping each other and by doing so we are helped ourselves. So keep posting.xx
We are strangers but share a bond and we are stronger together.
Mike 75
Lovely words x
Seychelles:
You put it perfectly. Mind your ahead of me with your IT as I have to type on name I’m replying to (if anyone can tell me how to do it properly it would be great!) Group hug? Lol xxx
@Sulane
Even when replying to a particular post, the reply doesn’t end up under that post in the way it would on other places like Facebook. To specifically draw your reply to the attention of the person you put the @ sign in front of their name then they get a notification of that reply.
@Keith1957 very kind words which lift us all. Yes you and @Mike75 are so right that in helping others we help ourselves as we feel we still have some worth.
Thanks to all in this community.
Hugs
Karen xxx
Totally agree, ive opened up more on here than to my family. Its a community no one ever wants to be a member of but everyone is so supportive of each other.
Sending love and hugs to you all x
@KarenF
Thanks (hope I’ve done it right, mind hoped you wouldn’t have to remember the spelling of name, lazy eh?)
@Sulane
Done perfectly. On my iPad as soon as I start typing the name the options of members starting with those letters come up. Don’t know if it’s the same on a computer or phone.
Keep going everyone . We have survived another day !
Deborah x
@Mike75 well said, when we’re stronger we can help but on bad days it’s good to know there is someone to help us, because let’s be honest one minute we think we are coping then the smallest thing can throw us over the edge and boy we have no control over it, do we? I for one am so thankful for coming across this site, it’s been a God send for me, a couple of weeks ago I was in a very dark place, and you helped me, so much, knowing I can talk when I need. Take care everyone xxx
I know what you mean @Sulane. Thought id watch the rugby this afternoon then the flower of Scotland started on the bagpioes and i burst out crying and ive been a mess all day. We had a pioer pipe that song at Bris funeral.
Thanks for everyone s support on here xx