When everyone else’s lives go on

I lost both my parents last year within nine weeks. It has been the most excruciating year of my life. With a very supportive family and great friends I am still standing (just). I did all the right things i.e. one day at a time, self care, bereavement counselling. And for the biggest part of the last year although I was finding it difficult I was generally managing to dual process my grief. I’m not sure if I was in survival mode combined with shock of losing my dear mum and dad so suddenly and so close together. In the last few weeks I am increasingly struggling. I feel low and so sad. I regularly get that feeling I’d shock that takes your breath away as if I’m just now realising the enormity of my loss. I just wondered if anyone else can relate to this? I think it is only now I am feeling grief in its rawest form. Grieving can be such a lonely and scary place and sometimes feels like everyone else has moved on presuming I’m ok. X


I hear you. Sounds like you have done all the right things. I had the same my dad and sister died within 5 months of each other last year. Sadly I’ve had quite a few deaths to deal with - all differing reactions. The shock can take a good year away before the real grief kicks in. People have moved on. Some of my best friends probably never give it a thought. It’s a very lonely place when the dust settles - that’s why I’ve joined this I suppose as talking helps.

I also feel some people think well you should be over it surely? People kind of forget and naturally it’s not important to them. The whole stress around losing someone stretches into places that you can’t believe you go through. X


Sorry for your losses Mark. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. It’s good to talk and a comfort to know others understand. Take care!


Totally understand you. I have lost both my parents dad last November and Mum this April. Totally get your shock that takes your breath away. One minute you think you are coping and the next you have shock waves and wonder if its real or just a dream. Hardest year ever!!! Sending you my very best wishes :heart: xx

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