When I'm 64 - birthdays and anniversaries

Wow I’m in Shropshire, but born in north wales, then lived in Chester until I married my husband in 1973 and been in the same house since, to many memories to even contemplate moving, as long as I’m here, he is with me x

Hi I was born in Birmingham but lived in Shropshire for 24 years near the Clee Hills, before I came to the Isle of Wight. Literally by accident. I came to visit family and had a fall and fractured my arm so couldn’t drive back and ended up staying. Married my Brian who was a ‘Corkhead’ (born here) so no chance of me ever leaving. Now it’s my home for ever.

Hi Barbcon, I’m in Shrewsbury, where in Shropshire are you? I’m Shropshire born and bred. I agree, I couldn’t possibly move - home is where I feel closest to my husband. Xx

Hi kate, I live just up the road in Oswestry, my husband died in Shrewsbury hospital, my daughter has just been an inpatient there and it was so hard going through those doors to visit but it had to be done, I would rather keep my trips to Shrewsbury as shopping trips. Like you when I’m home I feel my husband all around me, in the kitchen where he used to sit listening to the radio, in the lounge at the computer, he is in every room and I do find it comforting x

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We now live in NW Lancashire, Alan was a Lancs Lad, we moved into our house when it was new intending to stay 5 years, that was in 1972. It holds so many memories I couldn’t live anywhere else now.

I’ve now lived here one year and 3 days on my own since Alan was admitted to hospital May 7th last year. Some days the silence is deafening yet without having Ada I’d never even get up in the mornings.

Most nights I lie aesje unable to sleep, like tonight, well it’s the middle of the night now isn’t it, I could get up and do something, yet that would disturb Ada and eljjx solve nothing, do I lie here talking to Alan and hope I drop off. I’ve stopped taking the sleeping pills my GP prescribed, I only ever managed a few hours sleep anyway and 9rge after effects were debilitating. So it’s Catch 22.

Oh well, I’ll turn this phone off and try to capitalise on this yawning I’m currently having.

The dawn chorus will be rising presently and Ada will be wanting her breakfast at 7am too.

So here goes, maybe I’ll get lucky and grab 2 and a half hours sleep before facing yet another day without Alan. Although I’ve arranged to go into Manxhester for an early evening meal with my friend who lost her husband 2 years ago.

Blessings ☆
Ramblings of the insomniac Jen ☆

In my thoughts and prayers stay blessed take care of yourself as much as possible speak soon Adele x

So interested by your messages about living in the house that hold so many memories. Unfortunately I don’t enjoy having so many around me all the time. I don’t quite understand my own feelings as although I never wanted or intended to stay in this house as it was Brian’s when we got married. I have been here for thirty years as Brian changed his mind about selling it. I always felt he had let me down as he lived in this house with his previous wife and I never felt it was mine. Now I am considering moving. However now I am worried. Of course I want to remember my Brian, I want him with me but I’m not getting the right vibes from this house, if that makes sense. I get no comfort from being here. I wish I did. I feel I should be able to enjoy being here with the memories of the thirty years of marriage. I’m becoming more and more confused. Will I regret leaving here or even worse will I regret not Pat xxx

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Hi Kate and Barbcon. I loved Shropshire it is a lovely County. Brian had never been to Shropshire so we had three holidays there. He loved it and although he was an out and out Islander (couldn’t even get him out of the town he was born in) he said that if he ever moved anywhere off the Island it would be to Shropshire. He had also never been to Wales and I took him there as a mystery holiday, he had no idea where he was going until we arrived there. Pat xxx

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Alan and I moved here when we were in our twenties and our children were 4 and 2. we’ve been through good times, not so good times, periods of unemployment, we have lots of shoot memories, for some reason, I’m not remembering the unhappy times. Although there were some.

For you it is a different situation. And I can understand why you cannot feel it is your home. .my sister told me how she felt when she moved in with her new partner after her divorce. She told me it didn’t feel part of her, she felt she was a visitor or a lodger.as though she didn’t belong, theyre buying their own hone together now.

If you feel so strongly, just take the possessions that meant so much to you and Brian, maybe uproot sentimental plants/shrubs from your garden and take those too. Surround yourself with those possessions that give you the most happiest and contented times of your marriage together, by doing this, Brian will be moving to.your new home with you.

I truly hope you make the decision that is right for you.


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Hello PattIdot
When Barry died in 2016 we were living in Brittany. We never owned our own house but had spent our time together; mainly in Spain and France, in different rentals in different locations. Wherever we were was “home” because we were together! Anyway, my adult children were not happy about my remaining in France alone so I came back to the UK. My choices were limited because I had our little dogs and UK landlords are not dog friendly…my first house was a bit of a disaster but I found my current home two years ago. In many ways I wish I had actually stayed in Brittany but that’s a different issue… I just wanted to tell you that I feel Barry is as much still with me here as he would be anywhere…although he never knew where I have ended up I know he would have approved… I feel his love as much here as I did in France.
I don’t know if that helps you…my life now is completely different and I seldom see anyone as I live in a very rural area on account of my remaining pooches…but I believe our loved ones are with us wherever we are because we carry them with us always.
Take care x


O patti, I feel for you what a dilemma, but whatever you decide I think the real memories are in your heart wherever you are, I find my home comforting, I remember house hunting before we married and the house was a wreck, so we had to completely renovate it, so I have that pull towards my home, but if it becomes to much for me I don’t think I would have any qualms selling it as my husband will just move with me, good luck

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Thankyou all so much for telling me of your experiences of moving house. When Brian and I met we both had our own house and he didn’t want to live in mine and I didn’t particularly want to move to his. We agreed to sell both houses and I sold mine but he backed out of selling his. Granted it was in the early nineties and the bottom dropped out of the property market. Brian hated hassle and decided that it was too much bother to sell. So I stayed but always referred to the house as his, never felt it was mine. We didn’t choose it together or do any particular renovations. I did decorate it throughout to try and make it mine but I was too used to owning my own mortgage free house. I resented the fact that we never had the chance to have OUR home and not me living in his ex wife’s house. I don’t think Brian ever understood how I felt, probably a man thing. I feel I can make a home wherever I am now and Brian will always be with me. He expected me to sell the house and told me to not rush into anything. Again many thanks Pat xxx

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In my thoughts as always pat thankyou for everything take care speak soon Adele x

I can’t do it yet but I will do. It’s much too big for one and it just seems to get untidy and full of stuff. Probably next year but I may procrastinate. I’m glad I’m not forced into doing it.

In my thoughts and prayers Jonathan Adele x

Hi Day at a time. I’m in NW Lancashire too. I feel a coffee coming on. I’m in Preston. Where are you? xx

…’may’ procrastinate Thinking you should drop that ‘may’ word YL, don’t you :slight_smile:

Morning CW, I’m in Royton, I’m sure there’s plenty of half way coffee shops:)☆

I can’t think what you mean.
I’ve three weeks to think about it, or four, or five. I may find myself during that time.

I’m not being forced either, it’s my decision but I almost wish I was being forced then I wouldn’t have to make the decision alone. Not usually so indecisive usually just go for it. Probably a case of can’t be bothered with the hassle at the moment.

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