When it happens twice

Just joined. Not sure if this is for me but need an outlet. 30 years ago this year my Dad died aged 53. 3 weeks ago my sister died of a brain haemorrhage. Her last words haunt me she said I am worried that I am going to die like dad - and she did.

Welcome Elaine,
I am so sorry for your loss. My mother died of lung cancer 6 years ago, then my younger sister, also of cancer, died 5 months ago. My mother died on the 3 of March, 2012, my sister on the 3 of May, 2018 (two days before her birthday). Each loss compounds the ones before. Your loss is so fresh, and it is triggering the loss of your Dad, so yes it is “doubled grief” very much like what I am experiencing with my two loved ones. I wish I could say more, but all I can do is offer support and understanding. I encourage you to give this site a try, because I came upon it one long lonely night after my sister died, and found the kindest most understanding people here. Take care… Sister2


Dear Elaine,

I am so sorry for your loss and I totally understand what you are saying. My dad died 50 years ago aged 57, then my sister 47, then my mum and brother in law died. Four years ago I lost my wonderful husband of 47 years and my world just stopped. It is now as if I am in a bubble and everyone around me is getting on with their lives whilst I am stuck in a time warp, thinking of the past when everyone was with me.

When my sister died of cancer I remember my brother in law saying what a terrible, painful death she had and dreaded going through the same thing, three years ago he died of the same illness, in the same pain and in the same hospice as my sister had died 25 years earlier. It was heartbreaking.

I now plod on daily, living my life to the best of my ability, but never, ever forgetting my family. My life will never be the same as I now exist and that is not living.

Love to you.

Sheila xx

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Thank you. Trying to soldier on. I now have a niece without a Mum who really needs her Auntie to be strong for her.

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