How are you? I am getting to the point, after 16weeks of telling them. Lost,alone, heartbroken,emotional,miserable instead of Im ok.l know people dont know what to say but I feel angry now. I think the shock and disbelieve of sudden death is wearing off and anger is taking over. I would really like to tell some people how disappointed and let down I feel but I wont. Not yet,I will sit with it awhile and see what comes next!
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Dear Woody
I know your post wasn’t meant to be funny but it made me smile, I think a lot of us have lost our filter. I’d love to tell people how I really feel but I’m afraid I wouldn’t know when to stop. I can’t believe how insensitive some people are. My son even said to me the other day when he could see I was about to cry, not this again.
That’s why we smile and say I’m fine, the alternative is just too hard to share x
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I’ve felt terrible anger and frustration over the past two and a half years. First at losing my husband to a horrible illness after we were hoping to enjoy a long retirement together.
Then more anger after at having to deal with unsympathetic organisations: my local council to register his death; the same council about his pension death grant payment which they withheld for several months. And then a totally dreadful experience in my bank when a bank employee asked me “are you enjoying your day” when I’d just given her my husband’s death certificate!
It’s unbelievable how insensitive and unsympathetic so called customer service staff can be…..it all adds to the weight of grief, sadness, vulnerability and sheer anger you feel when a loved one dies and you’ve got to deal with everything on your own.
And then there are the insensitive and insane comments of people who probably mean well but just can’t say the right thing such as … I was asked at a recent WI pub lunch “Do you enjoy being on your own?”
But hey life goes on and I get by as best I can. You will too, after a while hopefully the anger will fade. The feeling of loss still catches me unawares, but most of all I try to remember the good times we had together with a smile. 
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Hi Helen
I know ,everyone moves on, even family but we are stuck. I was avoiding people because I got upset but now I am annoyed at everything. My friend was moaning about the wind and rain,I told her to shut up,the look on her face, that made me smile. This life really changes you,wonder who I will be next week?
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Hi Woody
Totally understand the anger. I have no tolerance for any kind of bs these days, or small talk, can’t do it and don’t want to. I’m angry at the world for taking a good kind man with so much talent, and so many plans for the future. Then I see my bullying sister who has said horrible things about me and has turned my 2 other brothers against me. Why does she get to have her husband, she’s 11 years older than me? Why? I don’t understand anything about life after this experience, nothing about it is fair.
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My sister said the other day how nice it was to have the bed to herself while her partner was away, I wanted to scream. I walked away, that’s the only way I don’t explode x
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I understand the anger as I have felt like that . It’s an almost like we have been robbed of the years we could have had together. Instead I am now trying to take comfort from having from having 40 years together. I saw one of my neighbours the other day , Who I haven’t seen since my husband died. You could tell she didn’t know what to say to me . In the end all she said to me was it’s nice to see you .
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I could have written those words except for the bit about your sister. Fortunately my sister has been great even though she has her own problems. I’m angry at God for allowing this to happen. Nobody lives forever but we should have had so much more time together. My partner was only 66, lived a healthy life, was a good hard working person yet he still was taken suddenly. I’m dead inside.
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