Lost my husband to cancer 23/6/17 A big shock diagnosed 11/5 died 23/6 I miss him so much Was coping well then suddenly wham Again crying anxious no confidence Suddenly tears fall and I can’t stop I remember his last week agitated confused then unconscious and dying Did he know I was there I had to leave and say goodbye two days before he died I couldn’t watch him go Every day is hard and I wish him back When will it get better Every memory hurts Songs,tv programmes, my birthday in October our wedding anniversary in November He was my life
Hi Annamarie,
What happened was so sudden, you had no chance to adjust to such an overwhelmingly change. It’s no wonder you are still in shock. Have you been offered any counselling? Your GP might be able to refer you if you ask. Some of the cancer support services might be able to help out too, but it depends what is available in your area. You do need to ask though.
Hope you can begin to find a way forward, starting with small steps.
A xx
Hello, Annamarie. Please accept my condolences on your loss. My husband also died in June and everything you describe about your feelings rings a bell with me. Apparently it is normal to feel the way we do but I find it unbearable, and there are times when I just want to go to sleep and not wake up again. My family are good to me but they seem to think I should be over the worst by now. Although they are saddened by the death of their father, little do they know what it feels like to lose someone you have been married to for 66 years. I do believe that I am improving for most of the time, and the worst thing now for me is this dreadful loneliness of living alone. I live in a sheltered accommodation flat where you hardly ever see a soul. It’s like living in a morgue and I hate it but don’t have any alternative. Most days, weather permitting, I go out and walk around or sit in the library and read. I’m sure that we will all feel a little better as time goes on but it is a long process. Very best wishes. Eileen
Thank you I had counselling after seven weeks but now know it was too early Thankyou for your kind words Annamarie
Dear Eileen You must be devastated after 66 years I was with my husband for 33 years Unless you have been through it you don’t understand Its like someone has taken a part of your heart away I know how you feel I’m sure as time goes on we will begin to recover Until then try to continue with your walks and visits to the library Kind regards Annamarie