When will I process the loss of my mom?

My mom died just three months ago but I still cant take it in. I went to the funeral so I sort of had that to 'mark’s her passing- but I just cant seem to accept that I wont see her EVER again and that’s a long time. I want to know where she is - does that sound crazy?

Not at all. Weirdly I was sitting here tonight. ( And I am two weeks away from the first year anniversary). And I thought how I don’t think I have still fully processed it either My mum dying. I watched her die!!! Yet I still haven’t fully processed it. Even as I watched her die. I never thought. I won’t see her again. I didn’t ever think that would be it forever. My brain just won’t accept it

Yes that’s what I was thinking. It was like a film - nurses coming in and out and then just me and my mom. I knew we had only days but the gravity of the situation didnt sink in. I suppose it’s some sort of coping mechanism the brain puts together. I’m still so calm about it all - why? Shes not coming back but it’s not real?

Allycat, I’m not certain how long it will take to process. I lost my Mum suddenly 10 months ago and I still can’t comprehend it either. She was with me for over half a century, so perhaps that is part of the reason. We live together. She’s always been here.
I’ve still got the majority of her stuff about
I just can’t get my head around the reality of it, yet I cry a lot most days. Take care

I would definitely describe the day she died as a film. I was there. I was watching. But I wasn’t really connected to it.