Today is really bad again. I am starting crying first thing in the morning and shaking strongly. I took my tablets and feel a bit better but still crying so strongly that my eyes are hurting. It is not even three months since my beloved husband died unexpectedly and it seems that I am getting worse. Nothing really makes sense anymore and I am tired of everything. The pain is unbearable. There is no hope.
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Hi, relatively new to this site so i’m not too sure how to go about replying to conversations etc.
I’m sorry for your loss and I’m sorry you’re having such an unbearable day. Is there anything you usually do to make your day a bit easier?
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Hi. I’m so sorry you feel like that today. Im not sure if this will help you but for me I’m beginning to accept whatever day it is. i.e . Angry day, floods of tears day, almost bearable at times day, can’t do this day etc. I try to tell myself that tears are healing even though I’ve never sobbed so painfully in all my life.
I also tell myself that this grieving is one last thing I protected my o/h from having to go through. As painful as it is, I would rather it be me than her.
Also I think of myself as a machine, my legs move, my heart keeps pumping whether I want to or not.
I’m sorry if none of this helps you as there are no real solutions just coping mechanisms to make the pain almost bearable. Don’t give up hope, we can get through this together. X
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Its been 7 weeks since my beautiful husband passed and I am experiencing the same. Anxiety worsening and constantly shaking. It sounds like you are still in shock my darling. We need to heal from the shock before we can even begin to grieve. Is there anything that your husband used to love doing that you could do on a daily basis in his memory? It could be buying a newspaper and doing the crossword, placing a bet on a horse, feeding the birds or watering the plants. The simple things that will give you a reason to get up in the morning. This might sound silly but i used to dread returning to an empty home after work. I bought a battery operated 3 candle large lantern which is set on a timer so the candles are flickering when I arrive home. I then say hello to my Mick. It’s a small thing that helps a little. It flickers for 4 hours and I try to go to bed before it stops so if feels like he is still in our front room. Be kind to yourself. Have a long soak in a lavender scented bubble bath, read a chapter of a favourite book, or play your husbands favourite tunes. I find playing Micks favourite music brings on the tears again which are part of us trying to heal. Baby steps. What you are experiencing is completely normal even though it doesnt feel that way. Sending love and healing thoughts xx
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