When will the crying stop?
Seven weeks of illness with no hospital visiting; seven weeks dead. Cry every day. Lockdown nightmare.
When will the crying stop?
Bobmajor Im 19 weeks in and still cry most days finding this loneliness soooooo bloody hard it’s not the carrying on it’s the carrying on alone . Don’t be ashamed about the tears they are a sign of the love you had for your loved one . Let them out and just let them flow . This lockdown is dreadful and us who are going through the grieving process have a double whammy to contend with but we have to get through it .
And you can get through it too keep chatting it’s good to chat I have taken so much comfort from it take care x x
Hello Bobmajor, Don’t even think about stopping the crying at this stage. Seven weeks on it is very new and raw and crying will be a release for you. Most of us here cry every day for months or even years. It must have been so sad for you not to visit your husband during that seven long weeks. This virus has changed life and caring for loved ones as we used to. You could not have changed a thing so take comfort in the fact that you did everything you could. Please do not feel that you should or could have done more. Please keep posting on here as you will come to understand we really do all know exactly how you are feeling right now. You will find many understanding friends on here.
Take care and much love to you. x
I lost my Darling wife just under 6 months ago to Metastatic Breast Cancer that had spread to the bones and later to the liver.
It seems like yesterday & the whole time has been difficult but these past few days is like it was at the start with the grief we have a 14 year old Daughter who is dealing with things her own way but I am really struggling with my emotions
I miss my wife so much it hurts.
I also lost my Dad 12 hours later & I am trying my hardest to support My Mum sister & my Daughter which I am finding it hard to deal with myself.
I gave up a good Job to look after my wife which I would do again in a heartbeat.
Stay safe all & take care
Geoffs my heart goes out to you it really does it’s hard enough to lose just one loved one but to lose two and then have a child who’s at a difficult age for them to deal with .
You have certainly got your work cut out but I bet you will get through it like the rest of us will. Please keep talking there is so much support , advice, and understanding on this site and by people who fully understand the level of your pain
Thank you I do struggle as we all do with grief.
I had a really good group of friends that were there at the beginning of when I lost Tanya my wife but I don’t hardly hear from them any more I reached out this week to them this week as I was really low I don’t want sympathy from them but it would just be nice every so often to just drop a text & say hi if you need to talk we can either Zoom or tel but I understand others are busy but if it was me in there position I would do all I could just to check they are ok but that is me I will always & have always put others before myself.
I have 2 really good friends that have stayed in touch with me & they are fantastic they say we don’t know what you are going through as not been through it but they will listen to me put there arms around me this is before covid got so bad.
I like to talk about Tanya & Amy deals with it in her way which is fine because I am here if she needs me.
Geoffs you sound as if your doing amazing under the circumstances , you should be so proud of yourself even though you don’t feel it.
All these emotions are part of the grieving and healing process . Keep talking we are all here for you x x
Thank you I will.
Ten weeks and I weep every day. I miss him so much. Tears are healing.
I am sorry for your loss Soulmate.
There are some lovely people on this site so please keep posting.
I am nearly 6 months since I lost Tanya my Darling wife to Metastatic Breast Cancer age 51.
I miss her so much this past week I have been crying out to what I thought were friends but nothing back apart from the to people that I can talk to the rest I have not really heard from in about 5 months.
Take care & stay safe.
Such a relief to hear this, it’s 8 weeks tomorrow since I lost my Geoffo. No-one tells you how this will feel and it’s not being horrible to say that you don’t understand until it happens to you. I actually told my mum this yesterday when we were talking about my Dad dying. I lost my Dad which was a terrible loss, but I really didn’t comprehend the loss my mother felt losing her partner.
I’m on my own now and everything in the house reminds me of him (that’s good) but so overwhelmingly sad, I have never cried like I do now, not just tears running down my face, but uncontrollable sobbing for the fact I will never hear him say my name or smile at me.
I know the crying helps because after I am calm and can get on again, but just so relieved to know this is normal.
I am sorry for your loss.
I understand how you are feeling I am not ashamed of crying or showing my emotions some people bottle them up but this last week has been incredible hard.
When the emotions start flowing I feel awful but after like you I have to do things I suppose it is like a pressure cooker it builds up & needs releasing.
I got a phone call 12 hours after Tanya my wife passed away to say my Dad had passed away.
Grief is horrible pain & I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
Take care & stay safe.
Yes Geoffs I do feel I can carry on again after the tears, but I do cry pretty much everyday now. Like you I’m not afraid to show my emotions or let the tears out. Helps so much reading that this is normal. Geoff died from Covid, only 64 and no underlying health conditions , he was getting better after two weeks in hospital (so couldn’t see him) then he took a turn for the worse and died very quickly so was a total shock.
So sorry for your loss too. Keep safe.
It’s so very true that members of the family don’t get it. They think their grief is hard, but they have no idea what it’s like to loose your partner and lifelong love. Everyone thinks you’ll be ok after a couple of months. Living alone suddenly and the finality of it is crushing. It’s a massive change of life so expect to feel depressed and tearful everyday. Don’t forget the French say is ’ you must empty your sac before you can heal’ so cry it all out.
It is crushing, and it breaks my heart. Its just the simple things like not hearing him say my name or knowing things about me that no-one else did. We did everything together and talked all the time. He was retired but I’m still working so he made my sandwiches for work and cup of tea ready for me when I got home.
Waking up alone, coming home to an empty house and going to sleep alone, so sad. Xx
So much worse when they die suddenly and unexpectedly. Even worse when one cannot see them till it’s too late. Just good bye, - if they can they understand - I love you!!! You need to talk it out. Others don’t want to talk about it. You must speak it out, as I must. Keep busy. Keep contact with this group. You are not alone.
My late husband, David, told me that the rest of the world think you are over the grief after 3 months and the phone calls stop coming. They all go back to living their lives with their partners and family. The only people who truly understand are those who have gone through the experience themselves. Keep posting here for support. Tricia x
I’m finding it very hard to continue today. My heart is beating so fast and I’m just crying crying crying. my stepdad will be here soon. He thinks I’m over it and starts to get moody with me now. He thinks I’m overusing my mum (i do too) and i don’t want my mum taking over my house like this or having this extra work either. I am lonely all the time despite i have people. The one I want…
I have an appt with a wellbeing practitioner trainee at 9 whatever that is. How the f is that going to help. this is too massive and he’s not coming back is he. my god I need him and I can’t do it without him.
That is True so called friends disappear.
I was crying out last week just for someone I put a couple of messages out but no reply which was a shame.
We think we will all grow old with our partners not loose them at 51 like I did Tanya through Cancer my heart is broken just like all the rest of the people on hear.
I don’t know what a well-being practitioner trainee is either, but hopefully you will be able to vent your grief and frustrations.
I hope your day improves once you have got up, showered and dressed