Hi everyone. Well my name is Sarah and i lost my dad on 19th February 2016 to a very rare illness called CJD. I’m finding it very hard to cope with things and come to terms with what has happened. Just 2 weeks after my dad died my fiance split up with me and i had to move out as i was living with him find a new place and a full time job so my grieving kind of got put to one side and get on with sorting my life out. I really want some help in trying to deal with what happened but i just done know where to start.
Dear saz, it’s sounds like you have had so much to cope with . I wish I had words of wisdom to help ease your grief . All I suggest is that you talk about how you feel and hope some of us going through similar heartache can help. I lost my dad when I was 18 years old , but was lucky enough to have sisters . Do you have family support? I am new to this forum, but I am sure you will get the support you need . Kim .
Sorry Sarah , I called you saz by mistake! I will get used to this forum. Sorry again , Kim.
Hi Kim, im new to i found the site today. I have my mum but she is in a new relationship which im also trying to get my head round as its a woman and they are getting married in February. I am happy for her i know my dad would want me to support her but its a lot for me to get my head round, i see my mum moving on and i think why cant i. Luckily i have a supportive partner now but its just processing everything that has happened its a lot. Part of my dads condition was that he lost his speech and one of the last things he said to me was look after your mum, my mum has told me she did love my dad but she wasn’t happy in the marriage which has been a big blow also just so much to process. Sarah
We all move on at different stages love . Trying to cope with your mums new relationship must be difficult . Remember always ( if you can) that your mum and dad love and loved you dearly. No matter what happens with us parents ( I have three grown up children ) one thing we would always like our adult children to remember , is that we loved them. Give yourself time , there’s no rush and things may fall into place. You sound like a very caring daughter , kind regards Kim .
Hi Kim, i suppose i have put how my mum feels before my feelings, im a little upset about it all but i could never tell her as i would not want to upset her so i just carry on as normal as i can, they have set a date feb 17th 2 days before my dads 1 year anniversary, they have to do it in a sort space of time because of the visa complications. I have thought about going for counselling, most days i feel fine weather that’s just me pushing everything to the back of my mind i dont know just all very confusing. Sarah x
Well I’ve made stupid mistakes after the death of my mum I packed my job in without thinking straight and had to get another one pretty quick .I’m now in a job that’s not the best job or hours …I wish I’d just took a step back before my actions but your situation was not your doing and I hope the future gets brighter for you xx
Hi Sarah.
You’ve had a terrible year.
I find myself in a similar situation: a few months ago my partner left just before my mum died. Sadly, I think this happens quite a lot. It makes you question how anyone can be so cruel when you need them the most. I found solace in the kindness that others showed - some way beyond what I could have reasonably expected of them. i’m not sure I’ve really grieved yet either. My emotions were all mixed up with the anger I felt towards my ex.
Have you had much support from friends? I would hope most people would understand you can have “deferred” grief. if you don’t feel like you can talk to people you know there’s bereavement councilling.