Hi. My mum died unexpectedly last Wednesday. I cried my eyes out for 2 days and now I feel numb. I adore my mum. She is the centre of our family. I dont understand how or why but I dont feel like crying. I worry that I’m heading for a massive crash of emotion later down the line.
I’ve lost loved ones before and reacted very differently. I just dont know what to do.
I do take sertraline. Could this be stopping me feeling things properly?? Or am I overthinking it and need to just ride it out?
Dear @Hellyfant im so sorry for your loss - I lost my mum nearly 3 years ago now but it feels like no time at all.
Try not to worry about whether you should/shouldnt be crying. Everyone is different. I dont have any experience of sertraline but maybe someone else can offer advice on that. Your mind may be in shock, or it might be protecting you right now - if all of our grief hit us all at once we’d never be able to cope. Your emotions may ebb and flow, there might be periods of numbness followed by waves of grief. Its all normal.
Just take one day at a time, even one hour at a time if need be. Focus on the basics - sleep when you can, eat what you can manage, keep well hydrated. If you can move your body (walking, exercise ) thats good too as that can help emotions to flow more freely. If emotions rise to the surface, let them come out. But dont worry if they dont. Your mind and body needs to process this huge loss in its own time.
Sending you hugs and strength 
My husband died 22 months ago. I cried at the terminal diagnosis, the day of his death, the day before his funeral, the day of his funeral, and on the first anniversary of his death. I haven’t cried since.
This was completely different than when my father died after which I cried daily for 3 months, after my mother died I cried for weeks. For my husband, my rock, the love of my life - 4 days.
There is no explanation. For all 3 deaths I, too, was on anti-depressant medication.
I can’t answer your question, just know that it happened to me too. Surely, others have the same experience. You are okay. We do not follow the same path when we grieve our losses.
Much love and understanding,
Peaches