So sorry for your loss Katie. I also lost my Mum in March.
I was just having this conversation a minute ago with my Granddad and a friend who popped round today. She is now 80 and lost her husband 22 years ago.
One of the most shocking and painful things I have discovered is the friends who just disappear. I think there are a lot of reasons. I am 49, my mum was only 70 and many people my age still have their parents. I think many don’t know what to say and it puts a fear of their own situations into place, almost as if it might be catching.
I’ve read one quote a number times but don’t know who said it, with grief friends become strangers and strangers become friends. I have found this to be true.
Like you I can’t help but feel very lonely and at times bitter. People who always sent Mum and I a card ( we lived together), not heard from them. I noticed a distinct lack of any messages last night, I think people feel uncomfortable send a happy new year message to someone grieving. I think people don’t have the words or tools to know what to say.
Some people haven’t shown at all since March, some at the beginning and then just dropped off and others I thought were acquaintances have really stepped up.
Its good to have a rant and let it out! I’m glad you have found here and hope it helps.
Wishing you peace