Why can’t I see or feel him?

I keep reading people’s accounts of how they “see” their late partners, or have a sign, or feel them somehow. I am so jealous. Tony and I couldn’t have been closer and after 60 years could tell what the other was thinking. We often came out with the same comment at the same time, or I would be thinking about planning dinner and he would ask what we were having. But now that he has gone, I get nothing. No feathers, no dreams, no whispers, no messages of any sort I am devastated and would give anything for something, anything to let me know he is still there, somewhere. Someone as wonderful, ,kind, generous and funny as he was can’t just go,. Can they?

Dear Ann,
I was moved by your cry for comfort. The majority of us just have our memories but as you say other claim they feel the presence of some loved one. There is a simple answer found in Jesus teaching. Those whom have died are resting Ann. They are not suffering, they are not worried, they are in a state like those who have been put to sleep in hospital for an operation. However long the operation takes they do not know anything. It’s the same for our loved ones whom have died, They have no concept of time or feeling. After the operation we do not even experience the waking process. We are just awake and wondering when we are going down for the operation. You may have had an operation and know the experience Ann. The Bible shows that the remedy, is the Resurrection. A time in the future when Jesus will create new healthy bodies, like were created for Adam and Eve and install the old memory into the new brain and wake the person up here on Earth. For those dying in a trauma situation it will be like waking from a night mare. The setting might be different like in the recovery room being different to the prep. room. Then the person will be reunited with their loved ones. Then the previous generation will be brought back and we will get to know our great grand parent who in turn will introduce us to their parents and so forth. Copy and Paste the link below into the address bar on the top of your computer screen and the short video will show the hope the Bible gives that is so comforting. My email address is [edited by admin] if you would like to ask me any question, such as why do some get messages of see their loved ones, the Bible tells us why that happens. My Christian love to you Ann, God’s Blessing, Allen
[edited by moderator]

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Thanks Allen , thank you for your concern but this just seemed to be a video trying to make me leave my chosen religion for another you and I do not appreciate that.
Please do not contact me again.


No. Ann, they don’t just go. My wife, who died 20 moths ago, was very psychic, but I have heard or seen nothing since. I’m not bothered. If it happens, fine, otherwise just let it be. We have no conscious control over such events and if we live in hope all the time looking for signs it can have an adverse effect on our health. It seems some have the ability to come through in dreams or dream states. You don’t have to doubt just because you have no manifestations. I have none but I firmly believe because I have taken the trouble to find out. You would not have found a bigger sceptic than me before I married. But throughout our marriage my wife never lied, and what she saw and felt was true.
Try to be patient, you never know what will happen.
Take care. John.

Thank you John, that is reassuring and how your wife was psychic is interesting. I don’t doubt, and would love to have a sign but I will take your advice and just wait patiently. (Tony would laugh at that because patience is not one of my virtues!) Ann

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The video is a blatant advert for Jehovah’s Witness. If we take what is said in the Bible literally then we are in trouble. Lazarus was ‘bound’ in the idea of death. Who bound him? They did, his family, because they believed in death more than life. No one is ‘bound’ in a belief. We are free to judge for ourselves. If advertising is not allowed then surely this video should be removed. I try to steer clear of religion, because, like politics, it can cause so much dissension. John.

I agree. Removal would be good as that post is going well over putting thoughts forward.
Hopefully, others will ignore it too. Ann

Ann, since losing my wife 6 weeks ago I too have been hoping, praying and asking that I might be “visited” by her in some fashion. My wife was very religious (she almost became a nun when she was 18) and a very creative person and she was much more in tune with spirtual things, such as “visitations”. or sensing the presence of another person. In the first home we rented in Newcastle she used to occasionally smell the perfume of her adoptive mother, who had passed about 4 years prior. Also, in 2008 not long after we lost Sam, one of our two rescue dogs, she “saw” Sam whilst sat at the table in our conservatory. Just to emphasise the point, our visiting friend, Bob, had reached down to stroke what he thought was our other dog, and was shocked when the other dog appeared at the conservatory door, some 10 feet away. He was shocked because, in Bob’s own words, that was against everything he believed in.

I don’t know if God exists or not, I hope he does, but I totally believe in a life after death, whether it be a separate dimension or universe (scientists now think multiple universes might exist) or something else we simply don’t understand. It is just that most of us are not aware of it whilst some others are. I don’t know if I ever will be aware of a “visit” from my wife, but it doesn’t stop me from talking to her as if she were here, and I genuinely believe that she is close and watching over me.

I’m not trying to convince anyone that my own beliefs should be theirs too, only that there might be a possiblilty that there is more in existence than we can see or understand in our everyday 3-D life. The reason I believe what I do is because in 1998 my wife visited a medium with some friends over in Lancashire, not long after we had relocated to Newcastle. I said to my wife in advance to take anything the medium said with a pinch of salt, but he made two comments to her - one about her adoptive Mum’s passing, the other about an incident at our wedding in 1996 - and there is no way he could have possibly known about these two particular incidents. I have also had a couple of incidents over the last 30 years with a couple of our dogs just before and after they passed, and they have made me believe that there is definitely more happening around us than we understand.

I have a photograph of my wife on my living room wall, I give her a kiss every day, talk to her, and for the last couple of weeks I have been lighting a candle in her honour below her picture.

I hope my comments may be of some help or comfort to you. But even if you are not aware of Tony’s presence, I would not be surprised if he is close to you and watching over you. Sending my very best wishes to you.

Thank you for that lovely comforting message, even though it made me cry especially at the end when you said you were sure he is watching over me. He always did that in life, so I would love to think he still is. That said, I don’t want him to see me at the moment because I seem to sob nearly all the time and that would upset him. In 57 years we have known each other, 54 married, he NEVER was responsible for anything that made me cry. He was always on my side. I miss him more than words can say and I love him more with every breath I take.

Hi Alston. What a lovely post. You have an open mind. I do wish everyone had. ‘Seeing is believing’, and what we see is something entirely different from our everyday experiences. We used to have two boxer dogs back in the 1980’s. A few years ago we had visitors to our community one of whom said, ‘you have two boxer dogs running around you’. The woman had never ever met me before and she was a complete stranger. I now believe her. She saw ‘true’. Clairvoyance is more common than we may think. It means ‘clear seeing’. Thanks for that. Take care. John.

Hi. Ann. It’s so hard and so much pain. None of us ever thought it would happen, although in the back of our minds we knew it would some day. After 20 months my heart is mending, just a little. It will never properly heal, that’s not possible, but maybe there will gradually be less pain. Bless you Ann, and take care. John.

Thank you Jonathan x