Why can't people be more understanding of other people?

When I was outside today trying to keep myself busy and stop the tears that had crept up on me, I noticed an elderly gentleman. He was stood right near a road trying to get people to stop and talk to him but everyone was far too busy to stop. When in this life did we stop having time to help and listen to someone in need?. I went over to him and guided him away from the road to a bench. There he sat for an hour telling me about his life story. I just sat and listened, and when he had finished he thanked me for letting him talk and the company. He then wandered off into a nearby area of flats where he lived. Obviously no thanks was needed which I did tell him. He felt better and I felt better for being able to help him.
It made me think how many lonely people like ourselves are out there. It can’t only be people who have lost someone to understand this can it?. I know how much I miss my husband and how much I appreciate the people on this forum listening to me. Listening to that gentleman helped distract me from my grief for a while and cost not a penny, just abit of my time. I don’t understand how can so many people walk by.


Hi Yemmy. But the priest and the Pharisee walked by. It took a Samaritan to help the injured man. And Pharisees disliked Jews. He overcame his dislike with compassion just as you did involuntarily. I’m not saying you disliked the old chap.
But you are so right. It’s takes an awareness of pain and suffering to appreciate another’s feelings. And just to listen is so important.
Why do people have to assume they must keep talking when we are down. It’s embarrassment. A friend who will sit and hold your hand and only speak when it relevant. It’s the precense of someone who undfstands not thw ords.

1 Like

Sorry, it posted before I had finished.
Your compassion comes through strongly. One can be in the middle of a city and feel alone. So many do. People walk by because they are so caught up in their own affairs they can’t be bothered. But, thank God, there are Samaritans about still, like you, who do care. It may take pain and grief to bring it out in us, but it’s the one and only good thing about it. But it is a positive thing.
You are so right. Compassion costs nothing. Like love there are no strings attached.
If only, if only the world took time to be kind to one another what better place it would be. Bless you, and your post must give some hope to many. Hugs.

1 Like

It just seemed so sad. People were purposely walking around him. It makes you realise some people forget your hurting and lonely after a certain time period. He was such a lovely gentleman who just needed to be noticed. He told me he was 80 years old and I just hope somebody will be there for me if I ever get to that age and need to talk.
I know we all have busy lives and places to be but surely we should still help other people. Without the support of people on here I would be lost bit not everyone can access such support or help.

1 Like

Hi Yemmy

I see this all the time I’m afraid.
Even when i’ m in a hurry I always say hello at least.
The other day I went to a National Trust property ,.My dog is so friendly and was desperate to talk to other dogs or people, he loves everyone .
One man dragged his friendly dog away and another woman ignored me when I spoke to her and her dog. I just came home in tears I’d been alone all weekend and hate seeing all these " happy couples " with their partners. Jx

A man had a row with his wife. He ran a shop and got irritable with a customer. She went home and took it out on her husband. He went to work as was annoyed all day with his colleagues. They, in turn, got annoyed with him and when they went home they upset their wives.
Just one incident of uncaring can set in motion so much distress.

“If you do it unto the least of my brothers you do it unto me”.

A kind word, a smile, a written word can uplift someone in distress. We are all in pain on here, but we try to help as best we can. We must! If anything can come out of this awful grief then it must be compassion for others. Bless you all.

1 Like

Hi there I haven’t been on the forum for a while but felt compelled to reply this time. I hope that all of us who are suffering will have more understanding for others, that this pain has given us a need to help others. I am not a very patient person but hope to be able to reach out to others that might be hurting also or even in need of a chat.

Jackie … I know exactly how you felt regarding your friendly dog. My two dogs love everyone and most people love them. Last week however they went up to some holidaymakers on our local beach and they was pushed away, one being pushed over. I had to force myself to ignore their actions as I would probably be in jail now for thumping them and reminding them that my dogs were on home territory. If only the human race could give the unconditional love that a dog can. It’s not the dogs that are unfriendly it’s their human handlers. I also walk in National Trust, what a pity it’s not the same place our dogs could show people what it’s like to be friendly and loving.

1 Like

Hi Jackie
I can only imagine how you felt when you were only being friendly and they behaved that way. The way I always think in situations like that is at least I was polite and even if they don’t answer I’ve done the right thing. I’m very shy but if someone speaks to me I will answer, otherwise I would smile so as not to be unfriendly.
I still am getting upset when I see people walking and holding hands. I know it’s not their fault but it does not make it any easier. I hate weekends as that’s when Alan went into hospital but doing anything I can to occupy my mind.
Take care
Emma xx

Hi there its amazing how some people are with their own dogs most owners like to have a chat while the dogs play together but when you meet those that don’t you can see how some of the dogs are as miserable as the owners why do they have them?.
My dog Jenny as been my constant companion since my wife Jane passed away 9 months ago if it had not been for her I would have been gone 8 months ago .
Jenny was Janes dog we bought her 3and a half years ago she is timid where people touching her is concerned spent her puppy time with just Jane and myself very loyal to just us two saying that though she will always rush up to other dogs and their owners to say hello.
Before Jenny we had had 3 other dogs over the last 40 years all of them living over 13 years of age when the last one died we tried the Dogs trust who implied we were to old to take on one of their rescue dogs me 66 Jane 64so its not just owners who are odd.
Jenny as been a god send to me since Jane passed believe you me better than relatives always there when I need her,my biggest fear is I am 70 she is 3 and a half in case anything happens to me at the least if I could not look after her and had to give her away it would break both our hearts .
Sorry to go on about my dog ,a dog is for life a treasure in grief.
Regards again MM69

Hi MM, how I agree with every word. My dogs were both rescue. One from a dog pound on her last day. No dog could give more love and affection and she is only just adjusting to the loss of Brian. She lies on his chair in the dining room all the time. The other one is a terrier, he came to me as a foster dog and went to a new home but came back a couple of weeks later, goodness knows why he is lovely. Needless to say he never left. How I love those dogs. So loyal, loving, they make me laugh when I’m out with them. So friendly towards everyone and other dogs. They are my joy and without them I too feel I might not be around. I worry about them and what if something happens to me but my family have promised that they will be found good homes if they can’t keep them themselves. I pray that god will keep them safe always.
Pat xxx


I must admit that I am probably one of those people who never used to have time to stay and talk to someone who needed to be listened to. I recall doing that once with my mother when she offered me the telly remote to stay and keep her company.

I do like you now and love talking to the elderly at surprising times. It seems to be something some of us have to learn late in life. but I applaud you for your compassion.

Yes I can remember not having the time of day for people and feel so guilty now although it was years ago. Compassion has come with age and it has taken a tragedy in our lives to bring it out of us.

1 Like

We have been talking about having more compassion for others yet today I once again found myself becoming impatient with a fellow dog walker. She always seems to have a problem of some sort. Washing machine won’t work, flood in the bathroom plus the endless medical problems. Today she started telling me about her husbands latest visit to the GP and the outcome, nothing life threatening. I found myself silently thinking “Am I really bothered, I have my own problems, my husband is dead at least you have yours”. I smiled sweetly and hope said all the right words. So much for my compassion for others. Now I know it will take time.

I don’t feel too guilty because I think it is in part about growing up and growing old. Until mum died, I spent over 50 years at home, hanging on to her apron and now being 57 (past that magical 55) and now starting to suffer those ailments that come with ‘getting older’. It ht me when I got the 10-year warning letter from one of my pension providers. At 57 I’m now grappling with adult things for the first time.

What I’m saying I think is that life sends us in odd, unique and personal directions with many good and bad points including ignorance, greed, selfishness and for some as you say compassion. Now that is something worth growing old for !!!