What is the point of carrying on. It’s all too much. I don’t want to face 30 yrs without him. How do we carry on…
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I wonder the same thing every day. I’m 21 weeks on the horrible horrible path and I just don’t see the point anymore. Only for my cat, she’s keeping me here. She’s the one link to my Ray… awake at 4.15am every night, this is hell
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Lostandalone68 Sorry to hear that you are not feeling very positive I know it’s hard, are you managing to get out and mixing with others? Hope you can see a better future soon.
Tony
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Peg2,what is the point? Wish I knew! I cannot find anything that seems worth doing when I cannot tell or talk to my Husband about it. Its eleven weeks for me,still cant believe it. My family are wonderful,making sure Im not lonely and I dont feel lonely just alone. We had 55years together,Im totally lost.But… I have a dog and she is now my rock,think she is saving me.
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Hi Tony8,
I don’t really mix with others. My life is looking after my elderly relatives. My mum’s in a care home with severe dementia. Don’t ever go into a home. I’ve seen so much and the social services accept “we don’t know how your mum got her bruises” and leave it like that. Even the police weren’t interested. She had bruising across her chest, fingerprints on her arm and a bruise in her ear.(she doesn’t play rugby). It’s been a nightmare.
My house is my safe place. You become invisible when your widowed. My future has gone and I can’t see ahead. Need to get up and see my mum. Take care xx
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I still can’t sleep properly, am so anxious all the time, feel scared of being on my own. It’s been 8 weeks of torture. I can’t bear it. I can’t go to work, spend a lot of time just indoors with my cats, they are my little friends who keep me going too. My son does come over, he’s lovely, but it doesn’t stop the loneliness, missing cuddles, chats we had and trips out. Feel so isolated. I get scared even walking to the end of my drive, will this ever get better, only I’m sat here, feeling so sick with anxiety and nerves I just don’t know what to do for the best. I miss him so much, I cry all the time.
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I don’t think any of us knows what to do,I go out of the house all the time, painfully inside not much better outside but you are not just sitting there, still get upset outside though which is hard if people notice but most are kind when they know what is upsetting you
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Yes I do need to force myself to get out more. I am trying, but it’s making me anxious. I will keep trying because I don’t want to get to the point I can’t go out. It’s good you go out, I know it’s painful, it will be. This very different life is so hard to come to terms with. I keep reading on here to get comfort from people and how they’re dealing with their situation.
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Woody, you are lucky you have a good family. 4 of my siblings have stopped all contact since before Christmas. I don’t know what it is that I did to upset them, but they simply don’t care about me, and I have to accept that. Not even a text to ask if I’m okay, suddenly alone after 33 years with the love of my life. I’m scared without him. I’m the youngest in my family and the first that has experienced this huge loss. Apart from my 1 wonderful sister who lives in France, she contacts me every day since Ray went to hospital and promised him she’d look after me.
Your own family can be the cruellest people on earth.
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hope you are ok, peg I’m struggling like most wundering if its worth the pain to carry on, don’t want this to linger and live like this for a few more years,
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Thank you Spike, I hope you okay this evening. A terrible path we are all on
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just tried to have a nap to get out of this feeling, I hardly sleep at night,how are you today
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Friday is never a good day for me Spike as it’s the day my husband passed away. 6.15pm and it always makes the tears start. I was awake last night at 2am and couldn’t get back to sleep. Sleep is terrible since he started to get sick, Ive tried everything but my mind works overtime at night. I’d say it’s the same for all of us.
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Hi peg2,
My husband died on a Friday night too. Hard for us. Xx
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yes sleep and the nightmare of the night, I’m awake between 1 and 2 every night,never get back to sleep, I lie there upset, etc get up at about 3.30 its then a long terrible day, I used to be so happy,ful of life,daft as a brush just a few months ago, we went everywhere together,except I walked early mornings with friends to keep fit,grew daft facial hair, now just keep the handlebar mustache she loved that, now life seems pointless
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Hi spike1
It seems to be the norm to not get much sleep 
I used to get.a godd nights rest.when my husband was alive as my day was busy with paul and carers so I would be up at 6am to start my day then in bed for 10pm then I would sleep right through even although we had a night sitter and she was in and out of my husband’s room it never bothered me now I think it’s the quietness that bothers me the most it is far to quite here now and I have never got used to that at all .
Sarah
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I’m struggling with sleeping, the past week has been worse than ever. I’ve tried sleep sprays and rescue drops. I just wake up in such an anxious state. Then that can last most of the day. I’m exhausted to be honest. I’m so sad today, I just want my lovely Graham back by my side, I can’t believe this is happening. I hope you find something to help you get through this too. I know being on this site does comfort all of us I’m sure. We are in a heartbreaking situation. Thinking of you Meg. X
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I seem to be going downhill,just bought some flowers to put against wife’s ashes,I was sad when I went it got outside in car, could not stop crying, that was nearly 2 hours ago,going out again to try to clear my head,get some wood for log burner, I cant stand much more of this, how long before your body or mind gives up I’m sure it cant handle all this grief, don’t know if its easier when you are younger or in old age but either way its a living hell on earth. 10 weeks none stop grief I know its not long and some go a lot lot longer living in torment I just hope my faith keeps me strong,
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You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t feel like you do. The loneliness can be unbearable. I lost my partner six months ago very suddenly after 40 years together. 10 weeks is very early on in grief and you may feel slightly inbetter as time passes. I began to feel a little better at the end of the 4 months stage IE sleeping a bit better and crying less. The past couple of weeks however, have been horrendous, I’m triggered by everything, songs, verses, places we used to go. The memories are fast and furious. I’ve just spent a very harrowing afternoon shredding some of his paperwork and documents. I can only do it a bit at a time as it’s very upsetting. I’m hoping this bad phase will ease again, feeling like this everyday would be torture. Take care.
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has any one herd of a broken heart death. i have seen some bits about it but not sure if it is true and what is the cause, if its true as this is how i feel its been 14 weeks since i lost my carole and sleep is impossible
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