Why did this happened?

Today is another day of crying and feeling that there is no hope of improvement. I have no one really to talk to and being on this forum is the only way to give me a bit of support. Does anyone have any experience with face-to-face bereavement groups? Do they help? I still do not understand why this happened to my husband and myself or better say to all of us. What is the point of taking our beloved partners and leaving us behind with all this grief and despair? Sending lots of love and hugs to everyone.


I don’t have any face to face groups near me, I have looked. I think all of us have asked that question of why them? and why me? and what’s the point with losing them and the point of life now?

I do join in with the zoom group and thats nice to actually talk to people but that’s the only face to face I have.

For me, I got to the stage that I was just beating myself up every day and it wasn’t going to change anything as I was never going to know.

I’m 18 weeks in and I still get bad waves of grief but most days are lighter than the early days and I can get on with life. I don’t think I will ever get over what I’ve lost but in time I want to make a new life that I can live with everyday.

My partner is with me, not the way I would like but I do feel his support and that’s a new feeling for me.

I hope your days get easier soon.


@Annaessex I’m sorry you’re having another bad day.
I haven’t been able to find a local face to face bereavement group but like @Ali29 I join the zoom meetings. Talking to others in the same situation has helped me to cope. Especially on the really bad days.

I’m 18 weeks into this awful journey. I still think why me? Why us when we had so many plans but I try not to dwell on it. I know it makes me feel worse if I do and won’t bring my partner back.

Keep posting on here. We are all on here for the same reason: to get and give support. Sending you a virtual hug :people_hugging:


@Annaessex it’s another day of despair & tears for me too. I can’t see a future at all except more misery :broken_heart:. I am on a waiting list for bereavement counselling with both Cruse & MacMillan. I think Cruse begins with one to one then moves to group. However, when I first contacted them they told me it was too soon?? Needs to be 3 months after your loss. I don’t understand this at all. The utter despair right from the beginning is when we need help. I really want to meet others who have lost a partner as I feel this is the only time people really understand what it’s like. A bit like this forum. Thank goodness we have at least got it. Message any time you need/want someone to chat to. Sending hugs.


I applied to sue Ryder for counseling and they said 3 months too. I think generally by 3 months some people find they don’t need it after all.
I had counseling from week 1 and needed it but now I don’t.


@Annaessex I started a 8 weeks bereavement support group course and is on week 5. There are 11 of us that go. Some people have lost their partners and others a mix of people. It seems to be working ok but some weeks I feel worse because we are talking about our love ones and the emotions which we are going through which seems like yesterday and of course the only thing I want is my lovely husband back. X


@Ali29 yes I imagine most people need it as soon as possible. Maybe to cut down the numbers??


The three month rule nearly saw the end of me. Christmas was dreadfull with nobody to talk to as my only family is a sister who was in America visiting my nephew until well into the new year.
I tried an online session but it was like communicating with a robot with generic questions and responses.
Even today, 8 months on, I wake each morning wishing I hadn’t woken up. The silence and loneliness is overpowering. I’ve tried a local social group for people my age, but haven’t been to any of the activities for over a month now, as it excentuated my feelings of total desolation. I don’t know if talking face to face with somebody will help you, but I wish that you eventually find some peace from the turmoil and pain that they call grief.


@MK-Dave thank you for your kind reply. Although I know I won’t be feeling better after 3 months I do think we all need that counselling as soon as not in 3 months time. I too am struggling with the loneliness and hoping speaking with others who have been through it will help. I’ve nothing to lose by trying. Take care