Why do i feel like it happened only yesterday

Why do i hurt so much,as if it was only yesterday that i lost my soul mate Andy,its been 9month now,my heart hurts so much,i dont go out,i dont want to speak to anyone,as i feel everyone has forgotten,i have nightmares,when i finally go to sleep,does anyone feel this way or am i just losing my mind xx

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It’s virtually 9 months for me too and it’s as if people have decided I’m better now! What they don’t realise is that it so feels as if my world virtually ended only yesterday, I can’t believe he’s not been here for this long. I feel so lost, most of the time and have no idea how I got this far. You are not alone and we all deal with this in a different way. Take care Gail xx

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Hi im sorry you are feeling upset.
I have only been 5+ months do i have up and down days. I still feel like it was yesterday but sometimes it feels like a while ago. I feel i am stuck in groundhog day ever say same try to sleep get up have some food try to keep busy go to bed sleep get up repeat :sleeping:
I wish could say its getting easier. But i think it is just we just are existing getting through the days and nights.
I dont think we ever expect someone to be taken away at any age and nothing prepares you for the grief left behind.
Take care
Lynne x

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@Galaxy75 we are about the same time . You are right it’s just get up be busy and go to bed . It’s still very difficult to carry on without your special man . I hope the terrible feelings become easier to bear for us all

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You are not alone in these feelings.

It will be two years since my gorgeous Christine died come January. Yet she died only yesterday. Some days I seem to experience her death repeatedly. Those days are especially tough. As for sleep: I don’t think I have slept properly for years. It’s more some weird semi-conscious delirium state from which I awake into a living nightmare.

Somehow you keep struggling on.

Remember you are not alone and you are certainly not losing your mind.

I read in a book (Levels Of Life) the following words concerning the grief experienced upon a bereavement: “It hurts as much as it’s worth.”

Best wishes.

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It’s just a nightmare world . Everything is so wrong now . I am trying to do things but I always feel like it’s wrong cos the main man isn’t there . I miss him so much . My heart is broken

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Hi jol,i feel the same because andy did most things,i feel useless,so its easier for me to do nothing,i feel like im in a constant nightmare,and even wen i wake up,the nightmare is also reality.

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Why are people so stupid that they think we can just get over it like that ? its a massive adjustment not having man you love living in same house as you and sharing your life with ! I hate every single minute of it !! X

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Deb5, i totally agree or when people say i know how you feel,they havent lost there partner,so please dont pretend to know how i feel,i feel like my heart has been ripped out,and i dont think i will ever be the same again x

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I have a theory that time works differently when you are bereaved. Things seem to take forever and yet no time at all.

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Yeh very true … youre sort of living in some sort of parallel universe to everybody else arent you … hard to explain … but its a bit like being in a daze x

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It is a parallel universe for sure . No one can understand unless they have lost their partner . I think everyone avoids you because it reminds them how fragile life can be

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@Jol I think they also avoid you as they just don’t know what to say or feel uncomfortable with tears. We could do with some sort of education on how to deal with the bereaved and not just to avoid them.

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Yeh … think youre right … dont wanna be reminded of it … but they could still be kind xx

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Yep youre right ! My bereavment counsellor said our culture are the worst at dealing with it ! Other cultures are much better than we are xxx

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Neighbour Sue admits she is not good with it but does still come over. Ros knows as she was bereaved 7 years ago. Erika tries but I wish she wouldn’t compare my bereavement to her divorce particularly as her ex husband is up here nearly every day and only lives a mile away. Particularly nasty piece of work he is. Nobody likes him.

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Lol … yeh it annoys me when people compare it to a divorce !!! No its not !!! Theyre still here on this planet and even if they dont get on anymore they know theyre ok !! I guess they felt the sadness of separation but other than that … X

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Sue whose first husband deserted her admits she knows how difficult it is to be alone but doesn’t compare it to bereavement. Odd she is not good with emotion as she was a nurse.

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Sometimes they’re not ? I think that you have to be going through this to properly understand ! Ive decided that people are really pig ignorant over bereavment because they “chose” to be. ! Well whether they like it or not will happen to them or their partner one day !!! Anyway i really dont care anymore if people understand or not ! Im just looking after myself tbh x

I’ve had a couple of folk attempt to empathise with me by telling me how upset they were when their pet dog died, took them weeks to get over it and how happy they were with their new puppy! So I too am very cautious as to who I will confide in. Like you @Deb5 I don’t care any more.

Really such a great help to have encountered this forum.

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