I don’t understand why I feel so unhappy today. My brother and his wife are coming to visit and bringing shepherds pie but all I feel is like crying. Ok I didn’t sleep well but that is normal now. I can only think it is because the last time they were in the house Norman was alive and the last time I saw them was his funeral. Got to pull myself together. My sister in law will need my support as she has limited time as she has terminal cancer.
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Hi,I cant stand anyone being in my home ,I dont cry as much now as I did ,but still dont want anyone in my home not even by best friends! I dont know if its a normal reaction or not .
Felt exactly the same when my mans sister came over. I cried getting the house ready, as we would have prepared together. I made all the plans for their visit, which was something he would have done. Once they had arrived, we had a lovely day, it was really nice. Then we all got upset when they left.
I am sure I will be fine when they arrive. He never stops talking so that will take my mind off things. At least I have stopped gaining weight and lost 2 lbs this week so my diet must be improving. It just makes me realise how lonely and isolated I am.
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I have support everywhere and I know I’m incredibly lucky. But I could be in a room with all of them, I could be at a stadium with millions and I will still feel lost and alone.
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Same here, first visitor to the house was difficult for me too. As Ali says, tidying the house was really emotional and sitting at the table where the three of us had often sat was quite hard to get used to on the day. But my friend and I did, talked about my wife, ate food, were happy. Cried a little, laughed a lot. It’s a good memory now, felt difficult at the time but was worth it. I still struggle with ‘new’ old situations, all part of the ‘firsts’, we get through
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@Walan I always find your posts and experience so reassuring.
Same for me pudding, you and all of this site is very reassuring. Everything and everyone on here makes me think we can get through this. 
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And now. I am howling again. I need to get this out of my system before they arrive around 01:30. I haven’t been so bad recently but woke up like this.
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@Pudding Sorry you’re having a bad day. I try & postpone my sad thoughts sometimes if I know I’ve got things to do or people to see. It doesn’t always work though. At least you’ll be in your safe space when they come. You might even enjoy their visits. Hope it goes well. X
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@Pudding please ask your brother and sister in law to look at a short YouTube film where Chris wark is speaking about healing from cancer. Just type in Chris wark cancer holistic it should come up. Even terminal patients have been healed with
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Sorry @Pudding my layout is different today. Get them to look up the Gerson therapy as well though hard to follow so they could
Aargh @Pudding sorry. But if her life could be saved your brother could be saved what you’re going through. Change can be challenging but can be done. Maybe she could give organic carrot juices a try if she can’t eat. I am praying for her and your brother. In love.
At the moment she is being kept feeling well with chemo but the blood tests show that is changing. Apparently she has been kept well for longer than anyone else. They have been working through her bucket list but I must be strong for her and my brother as I know what he will eventually go through. Thanks for the info. Xx. Sandra
I’m sure I will enjoy it when they arrive. I will especially enjoy the shepherds pie they are bringing. Just very emotional today.
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Sorry @Pudding I meant to say I’m sorry you are having a hard day and I hope the visit brings some light to you, although there will be sadness shared as well. I love and appreciate your posts
@Pudding and I appreciate there are more ways than one of working through cancer. You are wise and strong and kind and please forgive me if I have upset you in a difficult situation.
No of course you haven’t upset me. I appreciate all posts in this site and all your advice. You event to know her treatment or what stage she was at. I would love to save my brother this pain but I don’t think it will be possible. I just hope I am far enough along so I can support him. Love. Sandra
@Pudding
Sorry to hear how upset you are today. It will be an emotional day but hopefully a good one as well.
I remember the first and only time my sister in law came to visit me after my husband passed away. It was such a strange feeling, her being in our house but him not being there. It was a bit strained at first but we ended up having a good chat, spoke of him with laughter and tears.
I hope the visit goes well, I am sure it will ,and that you thoroughly enjoy your time with them both and also your shepherds pie.
Sending hugs xx
They have just left as they are going on to Weston super mare. We did have a good time although we talked a lot about grief as they now think my sister in law may just last until the new year although she is still feeling well at present. The pie was lovely followed by apple pie and so nice to have someone cook for me and to eat with someone. My brother thinks he knows what is coming but we both assured him he doesn’t. Also could tell my brother some things he didn’t know about an aunt who recently died and our mum as he is the family historian. I think it was cathartic for him as well to talk about what is coming. My sister in law is incredibly brave. Now I will probably cry again for him and her this time and not myself.
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