I lost my husband 2 yrs ago this month your comments made me laugh and cry at the same time . I’m sitting here and thinking about all the comments which were said to me and people were exactly the same . It’s so refreshing being able to speak to you and others who understand . I was married for nearly fifty years and I think this year has been really hard . It’s lovely to talk to others .
Hello Liz7
I am so glad that there was some laughter when you read my comments as well as tears.
I too find it so refreshing to be able to talk about such matters, as no matter how much friends and family try and help, they don’t truly understand what it is like to lose a life partner unless it has happened to them.
Nearly 50 years is such a long time to love and share your life with someone, so it is not in the least bit surprising that your year has been a very a hard one.
I was with my husband for 41 years, and it I lost him only 4 weeks ago, so I have only just started this journey that nobody wants to embark upon.
Thank you for replying to my post.
I will end this post with one of the most bizzare things said to me so far…
‘I know your’e mind wont be on it this year, but do you want me to look out for a turkey crown this Christmas, as there’s going to be a shortage?!’
Take care.
xx
I just wanted to say that I’ve found people think because youve lost your partner they think you’ve lost your brain I’m a young thinking 68 yr old and people started treating me as if I was a child .
Have you got your key Have you had any thing to eat Be careful if you go out I can do that for you How on earth do they think I’ve managed all these years being a sole carer Sorry for moaning just had to get it off my chest xxx
Liz7 that must be very frustrating…
I admit to behaving a bit ike this to my Mum who had been the sole carer for my Dad for years… It used to really annoy her and her stock phrase was ‘I’ m not stupid’! Looking back I was being protective I suppose… but I totally understand how annoying it must be…
Good for you Sheila. Carry on regardless.
My children don’t want me to drive distances. I can’t wait for one of them to be available when I want to travel to see a friend. I shall just go.
It’s nice that they care but they don’t realise how their ‘advice’ makes us feel when we have managed everything for years…
Heyho! Bless their little hearts 
My neighbour came to give me her sympathy shortly after my husband died and she gave me a puzzle, I was quite dazed and couldn’t understand why I was stood there with a puzzle in my hand, when she went to go she said if there’s anything you need just ask so I asked her if she could get me some coffee because I had run out and was pretty desperate and give her her due she returned with coffee and chocolate biscuits I still don’t understand the puzzle xx
I actually put a puzzle on the table for my adult children to do when they visited, both before their father died and afterwards. It helped them to have a small distraction rather than sitting around and not knowing what to do or say. They were able to talk freely while doing it without the emotional intensity. It helped them relate to each other on a different level. We were all in one room, and the puzzle became part of the daily routine for a while. No-one had ‘ownership’ of it, it was just there whenever any one of them called in to help with the practical tasks.
Oh Prebsue1 thanks for the memory. My widowed mother used to do the same . Always a huge jigsaw puzzle on the table we all helped with when we felt like it, it was something else to talk about and a sense of achievement when completed, then a new one was put in its place. Jss