Hello, I have no idea why today is worse than any other but it is. The day is the same, the routine is the same but today I just want to cry and cry or just walk and walk till I find my fiancé again. I know he’s not coming back, I am getting used to the new life but still want the old one back. I know I am distant from my daughter and I want to be fun mummy again. If there was a happy button to press I would press it but it seems to have been removed from my body.
I found a quote from Brief Encounter that seems to suit, “this can’t last. The misery can’t last. Nothing lasts really. Neither happiness or despair. Not even life lasts really long. There’ll come a time in the future where I shan’t mind this anymore”
But will that time ever come I wonder this seems 12 weeks on so unrelenting. Please tell me this gets better…
Rosie