why not me,why am i alive?

occasionally I think back to my late teens early twenties ok when I was 20 lol
I remember going to a local pub in Ilkeston,id not drunk that much,
but I woke up in Queens medical centre Nottingham.
I could remember being at the bar with a friend then nothing.
I was told by the nurses that id been kung fu kicked in the head ,and my head had hit the floor,
I was helped keep awake by a lady trying keep me conscious. considering the news and amount of times we here one punch killing some one. I was one of the very lucky ones,
that I was still here.to live my life and find my soulmate Jayne.
ive already written about the time I hit my skull on the bottom of a swimming pool and broke my nose.suppose looking back I should believe in fate,as it wasn’t my time,
but why ive been so lucky with still being here to meet Jayne, and fall madly in love. With my history of life threatening accidents.yet my baby Jayne had no luck at all.lifes not fair it sucks.im grateful but still sooner that Jayne was here than me.

I have always believed in Fate, Ian, I do believe that the second we are born the date of our departing this world is set.
This belief helps me through the day to day life, my maternal granddad served in the first world war, he was shot on the 19th October 1918 a few days before the armistice . When he came home, my grandma persuaded him, when he was fit for work, not to return to working in the coal mine so he got a job at a concrete works. On the 19th October, 1919 he was killed when a concrete pillar fell on him and broke his neck. Since I was old enough to understand, I have believed in Fate.


thats very sad,to get through the first world war was in itself lucky, because we know many many millions fought and died to give us our liberty ,and then to have a freakish accident.
it beggars belief.as you probably know my sister was fit a healthy and had a freakish event occur and was gone.
myself ive been luckier than most.think i mentioned in a post months ago.when a child of 8 i was carrying a sharp stick in my hand,cant even recall why i was carrying it,but i fell face first and the stick caught the side of my left eye.any further to the right and who knows.
then playing cricket i had a cricket ball veer up when batting hit the edge of my bat and went straight into my face and broke my nose.
so i guess im like you Mary i believe fate plays a big part in the circle of life.

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Crikey, Ian,
You have had more than your share of misfortune. I didn’t know about your sister and I am so sorry.
I do believe it is comforting to believe in Fate, it has got me through some sticky times.
Goodnight, lad, I hope you get some sleep.
Mary x

hi Mary
yes ive had my hairy moments in life,pity I couldn’t of had a fatal one instead of my baby Jayne.as Jayne offered this world way more than I could ever dream of,and was an inspiration to anybody who knew her.sure ive mentioned the ladies at work did a few charity events in my baby Jaynes name and made me feel proud to of been her partner,
I actually got them a bottle of wine each and chocolates and I received a thank you card giving there reasons and how they loved working with Jayne.brought tears to my eyes .was very touched by this beautiful card.

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2 posts were split to a new topic: I’ve outlived everyone

I keep asking myself as well. Why him not me? As I never liked talking about dying or what we should do after if anyone if us leaving. I started crying all the time and felt so uncomfortable. I am thinking now I wish that I talked to him about this easily and asked him. As I am lost without him as he was the most realistic man I was the most emotional person. I keep telling him if anything will happen to us has to be happen at the same time not different time.

One time I remember he said if he dies " Shite happens, you need to get on with your life" of course he did not want or expect this one to happened to him as we said these words I can see in his eyes as felt uncomfortable " hope will not happen"…

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