Why not us?

I’ve read quite a few posts and the “why us or me” question often puzzles me.

As adults we all know what’s what in life and unfortunately death is part of it - - I think we bury our heads in the sand until “it” happens. But we knew “it” was going to happen one day.

Sadly, it’s something we have to reluctantly accept and navigate thru.

And yes, I’ve experienced loss and heartache too - my intention today is not to disrespect anyone’s feelings.

G. x


Hi there
I know what you mean. We know it can happen but don’t accept it will happen to us and certainly never expect it to hit us sidewards quite like it does.
Navigate through is exactly what we have to do. No short cuts, no magic pills.
I don’t want to upset anyone either but I do wonder why the age is being mentioned so often nowadays. I personally don’t think it matters if the person we lose is 10 or a 100 it is still traumatic. Its as if the age is all important and young or old it is a loss that we never wanted,
P xx


I agree with you both, it’s like the old saying only three things in life you can be sure about, birth, death and taxes.
To loose someone you love what ever the age and for what ever reason is devastating.
Debbie x


Agree with everything, none of us are promised tomorrow, but I’m only speaking for myself, losing your love whilst both in your forties is just a hard pill to swallow. I feel robbed and we should have had many more happy years together.

But, yes it doesn’t matter what age, however the “younger ones” do feel cheated… although none of us deserve/want that horrible label of “widow” at any age…

Just an awful situation for us all.

Big hugs
Dottie x❤️


@Dottie72 yes I agree that all ages are hard of losing someone and everyone grief is unique to them. We all love our spouses so much.
I just find it hard that my husband who was 53 will not see his son milestones in life and will never retire or be a grandad. Breaks my heart that we will never grow old together. X


@Hazel.1966 , it’s just so awful, your lovely Husband was so young also :pensive:

We didn’t have children, but we were everything to each other. I can’t imagine being left with children, I’ve read so many heartbreaking stories on this site, young Women and Men being left to raise little ones. I’m sure they feel completely cheated, and rightfully so!

There is no possible rhyme or reason, but for all of us collectively, utterly heartbreaking…

Big hugs
Dottie x💔

@Dottie72 thank you for your kind words. My son has just turned 22 so a young man and misses his dad so much as they were also best friends. I have seen your picture of you and your man. Such a beautiful photo and couple. Life indeed is unfair and so cruel. Take care and big hugs xx

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@Hazel.1966 just awful, I lost my Dad when I was 22, I know how awful it is…:pensive:

Thank you for your lovely words, we were such a happy couple…

Big hugs
Dottie xx❤️

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Hi I’m sat here on the sofa in the dark, having reached the uncontrollable sobbing and yelling why him stage. It’s horrific to lose your love at any age, my grief is as much for my 20 and 18 year olds as for me. I’m broken that they won’t have their dad for all those special moments in the future. He was such a massive part of their lives spending so much time with them. I just feel cheated out of the 20+ years me and the kids should have still had with him.

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@TJ14 you hit the nail on the head by saying that you are also grieving for your children. It’s so bloody hard as I am grieving for my husband and my son is grieving for his dad which breaks my heart. Life is so unfair and cruel. Big hugs xx

I think we all live under the assumption that we will live into retirement and old age but unfortunately a lot of people don’t. It’s heartbreaking. I never expected to be a widow at 58 and there are many so much younger than myself. We all feel cheated and there is no handbook on how to cope and talking about death is taboo. Other countries deal with grief in a much healthier way but we don’t. This site helps us to say how we really feel and be understood. Sending hugs and love xx