Widowed at 40

My 39 year old husband, soulmate, love of my life, died very suddenly from a brain haemorrhage a month ago. We have two young kids aged 6 & 4 and we are completely broken. I’m getting up and out each day for my girls taking them to school & nursery, play dates, parties etc to try to keep life normal for them. But I’m completely shattered, in shock, and longing for my life back. He was my whole world, and he was here one minute and not the next. I can’t reconcile how this has happened, and how this is my life now. This was supposed to be the most amazing year with so many trips and adventures planned to celebrate both of our 40ths. Now my future is gone. All the plans, disappeared. I need to stay strong for my kids but I’m falling apart.


Oh Hen how tragic. To lose the love of your life any time is soul destroying but at such a young age doesn’t bear thinking about. I lost my husband suddenly in bed beside me but we had over 44 years together so I have those years to reflect on but to be widowed (I hate that word) at 40 seems to unfair. I know it’s a struggle but your two lovely girls need you more than ever now - you need to be mum and dad. Where we get the strength from I don’t know but it’s there somewhere and it will come to you. Everyone on the forum has experienced a loss and we all understand the pain and suffering you’re going through - we’ve been there and however long it’s been, we’re all still suffering to some extent.

Keep posting as and when you can it really does help to know we’re here for you.

Warm hugs

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Hi Hen,

So sorry to hear this, am sending you and your children love and hugs.

I lost my partner who was 36 suddenly in Feb and we have a 4 year old.

It’s hard am not going to lie, I have tried the same as you keeping to routine with my daughter. I’d be lost without her.

Please ensure you are trying your best too look after yourself too, take time to cry, scream and ask for help from family and friends don’t take it all on your own.

Depending where you live, can you get any counselling support, I have managed to get some here in Liverpool and feel like it’s helping with the feelings, as most of the time I tell people am OK but am not.

Here to speak to at any time.

Please take care lots of love Claire xxx


So sorry for your loss , my wife was 51 and the absolute everything in my world so I know how you feel.

We to had so many plans , cruelly taken away from us .

I don’t have young kids , my step son is 19 and I have 2 kids 26 and 28 ….and a dog .

Just day by day take it , please try and look out for you , living with this grief is bloody tough and there’s no right answers at the moment .

Look after yourself, post , it helps .

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Thank you all for your support :heart: Will try and post on here as I know you’re all feeling the pain I am and I’m so sorry that we’re all going through this.

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No need to be sorry it’s life we are all in the same boat to some degree.