Will the visions go?

My mum passed away last night at home hours after being discharged from hospital. The ambulance crew stayed with me until the end which took over 3 hours from theur arrival. I feel so let down by the hospital, gp, etc etc but I guess that seems quite a common and will evolve and ease in time. And the guilt is crippling but my biggest problem is I sat with her for those last hours and everytime i close my eyes the image of her face at the end is imprinted on my eyelids. Will this go? I’m too scared to sleep :broken_heart:

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Hi Bracken, I am so sorry for the loss of your mum & my heart goes out to you, I lost my mum in July & she was on end of life care in her care home. In her final hours I sat with her on my own holding her hand until she passed & like you the first few weeks after I couldn’t get the image of those last hours out of my head, first thing I thought of when I woke and last thing before I slept.As time has passed I now think less of that time & remember all the wonderful times we had. The healing process takes time & it’s very early days for you, give yourself time to grieve, don’t be scared of your thoughts, it’s completely normal to feel this way in time hopefully that image will be replaced with happier memories as it has for me, please take care of yourself x

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hello bracken, your words are breaking my heart. my mum passed in october and the last hours of her is forever imprinted into my consciousness. i held her hand and felt her final heart beat with my other hand. for weeks i couldn’t sleep proper because of of this. i still break down when i get flashbacks. my mum passed quietly and peacefully but i can’t shake the last minutes of her life. i;m crying as i write this. my heart goes out to you.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Short answer - yes. This year I was with my Dad when he died in the hospice from cancer and then with my paternal grandmother 3 short months after (broken heart). The flashbacks are real and hard, but, nothing lasts forever. They will pass. Watching a loved one pass away is incredibly traumatic, no matter what platitudes people say to you. I remember a week after they started to fade, but the few days after were horrendous. Seek help, therapy and treat yourself with the love and kindness you deserve. If it doesn’t pass after the first few months, reach out to your GP for further support.

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