Dose anybody wish for death, like being hit by a bus or cancer just so you won’t have to live a long lonely life without your soul mate
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Oh never! @Victoria83 I am so very sorry you are feeling this way. I know it’s hard living without our loved ones but sadly, we have no choice. My husband died suddenly and had so much living yet to do, so I now have to live my life for both of us in the best way I can. x
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Hi, yes I’ve been feeling like that for sometime now but I know it not the answer so I seeked help from my doctor. I honestly didn’t want to go on without Ian and still don’t but I know I won’t do anything it’s a terrible feeling. I was told it was quite common to feel like this after your loved one dies.
Take it easy
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Just to point out that I would never do anything intentionally as I have 2 kids to think about I was just wondering if it was a common feeling or not
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Yes. I would be quite happy if I was taken right now. I can’t go another 20 years without him. But I have children and grandchildren to consider xx.
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Every single day I don’t want to be here I lost my wife Jane 7 weeks ago I go to bed every night hoping I don’t wake up but I got grown up children and grandchildren to think about I know its so hard but keep going please send hugs you take care x
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No and from your post you are young that is not the answer. Time will heal but except the person you lost will always be there in your heart. My husband took so much care in making sure I would be ok he would hate me to feel like this. Maybe you do need to speak to a professional if you feel like this. Take care
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Hello Victoria,
My father passed away on 15th November, 8 weeks after a cancer diagnosis. My father is my best friend and the person I love most in the world. I feel completely lost and see no hope of things improving. With each passing day things feel more difficult and I miss him more. When I found out he was ill I used to wish I could swap places with him and now he is gone I am willing something to happen to me so the pain stops and I can be with him again. I will keep trying.
Xx
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When my husband of 47 years died eight years ago, I had our massive, long haired German Shepherd dog to look after, he was like a small pony, and I had to get up in the morning to take him out and feed him. He knew something was wrong, he would sit next to me with his head on my lap. his big brown eyes looking at me so sadly. When I went in the garden with him, he would sit, looking through the back-room window waiting for his dad to come out. I had always brought Peter out into the back garden in his wheelchair with his oxygen tanks, so Barney was so used to sitting there waiting for us to come out. It broke my heart to see him sitting, waiting so patiently for something that would never happen again. Whenever Barney heard a car pass that sounded like ours used to do, he would rush to the door and sit waiting for his dad. It took him over a year to stop doing it.
Barney kept me going because I know for sure if I hadn’t have had anyone to get up for, I would have stayed in bed. Barney died three years after Peter, and it was the first time since Peter died that I realised how empty and soulless the house felt. There seemed to be nothing there anymore because as long as I had Barney, I felt Peter with me but once Barney died, I felt as though he had taken Peter with him.
Slowly but surely the house once again became a home, I had Peters books and records and personal belongings, which I still have today, and I put photos of us and our family all around the house and filled it with flowers. Now I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else, this is
where I belong, this is where he carried me over the threshold when we married and started our lives together. I have Peter’s ashes, Barney’s ashes and the two other German Shepherds ashes we had through our married life. Our cat is buried in the back garden along with two cockatiels, a lovebird and a goldfish, not forgetting the tortoise. This is home and always will be until the carry me out.
As time moves on, we learn to live a different life, it is not the life we want but it is the life we have and there are so many days when I can laugh out loud. I can look at our photos and smile and I never, ever thought I would laugh or smile again.
I still miss my husband, I still love him and want him back but that is impossible so I live every day, a day at a time and one day I know he will be waiting for me.
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Hi Victoria83,
I’m so sorry to hear about the way you are feeling. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really down at the moment.
It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts during their grief journey. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful:
https://griefguide.sueryder.org/support/suicide
There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.
- If these thoughts of suicide become overwhelming, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: sueryder.org/counselling.
You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve care and support so please, Victoria83, get in touch with one of these services.
Take care,
Alex
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I was at the Dr’s yesterday (Friday) they said they refer to cruse, I rang them, 8 week waiting list and Dr’s said council ing was a self referral
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I lost my partner on the 25/11 and yes I feel exactly like that I don’t want to be here without him x
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Hello, my other half suddenly died at work 3 weeks ago and yes most days I feel like I want to die or that if u dropped dead 2 I really don’t care I hope I don’t wake up. I have my son who is 12 aoni wound never intentionally to anything but if it something happened I don’t care. I told my doctor this other day and my son and I are starting counselling next week, it won’t change how i feel just someone else to tell
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I also would like to join my husband. Every night I wish that I don’t wake.
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NO. I have never felt like this yet I was just as heartbroken as other people. My husband died of Cancer and it was horrific how he suffered and traumatised me for life so never wish such a thing on yourself.
There are so many people out there trying to fight to save their lives who would be upset to see your words. You have two children that need their Mom more than ever so they should be your priority.
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No dont wish this loosing a partner is dreadful and to everyone on here they are their soulmates I lost mine on the 13th July a date that will be ever etched into my brain. I got divorced when my son was 5 and didnt take him to consideration trying to cope with my own grief the worst mistake of my life You are young so is your son the person we lost will never go away but you have to build a new life it may seem hard at the moment but you will
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Hi yes I think we all have these conflicting feelings, it’s all up and down but if you think of the massive loss we’ve had isnt it understandable that we would feel this way, it took me a while to work out that I wanted to be with my husband but although I thought about dying I couldn’t make sense of what I really wanted and of course you love your son but you’re grieving right now be kind to yourself, just take a day at a time and and pat yourself on the back that you made it through the day, nobody or anything can make us feel better I quickly realised that but I’m fifteen months down the road now and please believe me when I say life is different not ever the same and it has been tough at times especially coming up to Xmas but I am still getting up every morning and putting one foot in front of the other because that’s all we can do, sending love and hugs to both you and your son
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It is a common feeling. I really felt like that and do sometimes now. Wishing I could be with him but I have 2 children and three grandkids that would miss me as well. My husband I know would want me to carry on the best I can without him. It is so hard to do events and I cry every time.
I can assure you that grief is here to stay.
I lost my husband in Sept to lung cancer he was only 65 and had so much to live for.
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Its so very hard isn’t it
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It is very hard. Sometimes I feel it’s impossible.
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