My daughter died 18 weeks ago having her third liver transplant. I am finding it difficult to process my emotions. I have taken to writing some poetry to help me
find out outlet for my feelings
Who knows
Do I know how I feel?
Who knows?
Is this normal?
Who knows?
Painted on expression.
Is the emptiness usual?
Who knows?
Will it last?
Who knows?
Same trite words.
Will there be happiness again?
Who knows?
Will I welcome it?
Who knows?
Same dulled feelings.
Do I hope again?
Who knows?
Will I hurt again?
I’m sure.
This is life.
Talking to myself.
Looking back is so much easier,
The future, well what hope does that offer?
Will it bring some sort of peace?
Or just more of this pain?
People say, “don’t rush it,” it takes time.
Talk to someone, get support
All meant to be helpful words.
Talk to who, it is not easy.
I’ve always just relied on myself,
I need to be strong.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced;
I want her back.
Oh, I just want her back.
Tears that I try to hold back.
If I start, would I ever be able to stop?
Can’t let go,
I need to be strong
Oh, it hurts.
Our daily chats are one sided now
But they help; her voice is in my head,
She is by my side,
I just want her back.
BEING A PARENT
When you look at your child
Do you see a part of yourself?
The better part,
A more confident part
A wiser part.
Do you see your own insecurities?
Your own doubts?
Your own worries?
Perhaps it’s neither.
They are themselves
Like butterflies bursting from a chrysalis.
As a parent
They are only loaned to you,
You have to let go.
Let them fly.
bc your words are lovely