I am sorry counselling drained you.
The Sue Ryder counselling isn’t draining but empowering. I have been lucky. I have spent ages trying to find some things that work.
I had found things falling a bit more into place but horrid days after 15 months.
It felt terrible on some days last year and fog minded.
I am getting bit more used to it. The sun came out just now.
Been trying to work on stress and anxiety.
Gave my husband’s overcoat away yesterday to the charity shop as he never wore it anyway.
Tried it on one last time to say goodbye. Now been wondering who if anyone walking about in it. Hope they keeping warm. While still cold now.
Was taking up too much space.
That felt like a milestone.
Looked at his stuff again will try on his shirts think. All these trousers he got to go to people’s funerals.
Nuts as hardly ever worn. He just looked the part at the time.
My father was the same.
Loads unworn altered stuff he never wore.
Guess they liked owning lots to make up for when had nothing. I will try to decide what is next to part with.
I feel for all here . I made my trek in the rain to the country park . Where my wife’s ashes are scattered in the stream . Very wet and plenty of mud and definitely not for the casual walker . Her birthday today so nothing was going to keep me away . After 2 years 3 months put flowers in the usual place then just burst into tears cryed like a baby . Like your man she was my absolute world and just go’s to show the grief is never very far away . All the best to you all x
My husband died a year gone Wednesday - I was prepared -chose to go to work keep busy. I want to remember good anniversaries birthday wedding. Not the day he left . Married 41 yrs when he died and known him since I was a toddler. Today went to see family and ended up in tears talking about memories same ones that made me smile in the week. Grief is strange sweeps over you when you least expect it. We owe it to them to keep positive.
Cooki was married 47 years grief is hard to bear
That is a cute teddy really unusual.
Counselling with Sue Ryder helping me. Calms me down.
Yes photo album will be lovely idea.
My daughter and I are making a scrapbook about my husband’s life they call the scrapbook Once Upon a Time and we’re making it happy from when we met when he was in the Army the last photo in the album will be the certificate we have received with his name on one of the RNLI life boats just launched he was a character so were putting funny captions above the photo’s looking forward to doing it take care all
Coming up to one year soon in less than a month and I am so dreading it.
I had a setback the day before yesterday completely broke down on the train on my way home from work thinking about the very day he passed and reliving it 
It’s so raw so sad so lonely so empty and so heartbreaking
I miss him so much every second of every day too!
Sending love & hugs xx
Im so sorry the 1st of things are hard. Anniversary birthday christmas etc
Just do what you need to do on the day try and have some nice thoughts. Memories
And be kind to yourself also. Its so tough getting from one day to the next
I have no idea how ive made it this far
Life is just so empty
Lonley. Sad. Days seem so long 
Please take care
It will be a year for me in a couple of weeks. I’m feeling exactly the same as you. Unfortunately i don’t work so this empty feeling isn’t getting any better. I just think i was so lucky having him for 54 years. Just don’t know what to do for the rest of my life. Hopefully one day we’ll get through this. Just take one day at a time. Take care. X
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, the 1st of everything is so unbearably hard I have booked time off work on this first anniversary of his passing, our wedding anniversary in July, his birthday in September and my birthday in November these days we used to spend special times together usually away.
Probably going somewhere for a day or two this year just to be away from it all.
At times I am surprised that I am still here when I think about each day fretting the next day for the past 10 months. Yes, life is so sad lonely and empty but we have no choice but to keep carrying on.
Thank you & please take good care too X
I hope you will find peace and comfort on the 1st anniversary. It’s hard to cope with loneliness when you have so much time on your hands and I hope that you have things that you enjoy doing to keep you occupied. We are so lucky to have our beloved for all these years, mine 37 blissful years. I am so lost and feeling empty every single day since he’s gone .
Yes, hopefully one day we’ll get through this 
Sending hugs & strength X
You are a strong person- im still struggling… I have no one to talk to - it’s hard 
@Angel1309 um really sorry you are going through such a difficult time . Coming up to the end of year 1 is a horrible time . I’m currently on month 14 and im sorry to say that life hasn’t improved much . I find my grief isn’t quite so raw , it’s more like I’ve settled into a life where everything is permanently grey . Life is very bleak and life’s problems and issues have to be confronted. I’m going through housing difficulties at the moment and cannot settle where I moved to only a few months ago . I’m looking to move again but I’m staying with my dad at the moment. I just feel like I don’t actually care about things . My flat is full of my belongings so I go a couple of times a week to check the place and get post etc but it’s never been a home . I don’t think home will ever exist again now my love is no longer in it . I might as well be living anywhere xxx
Sending hugs & strength
Please take good care X
@Ladysuisei6 Thank you for your kind words. I am sad to hear life hasn’t improved much even after 1 year. Life is very bleak indeed without our beloved by our sides . I guess nothing much we can do but to keep carrying on until one day…just one day it might get better 
.
I couldn’t agree more home is no longer home without our beloved in it.
I do hope you find a peaceful and homely place to settle sometime soon.
Take care xxx
@Angel1309 im sorry I couldn’t offer you a more positive outlook really . I’m finding the second year without my man is more difficult because people expect you to have moved on and I haven’t . I’m struggling to find the right place to live , so at the moment things are feeling worse than ever xxx
Yes I find second year bleak to here without my husband because it feels it is going down hill without his input.
I can’t cope with it.
He used to always be busy keeping the things he used to do in order.
Feels it has gone to pot. I am hopeless at what he used to do. Make such heavy weather of his jobs.
No idea without skillset. Like yesterday the tyres haven’t been checked. I can’t do it.
I try but with disabilities it is hopeless. Chores seem never ending.
I decided I need to make some space and put my husband’s clothes more closely together and start to gradually get rid of some. He doesn’t need three wardrobes if he is no longer here. I used to look at them and not want to face he won’t need them. Now I want the space. I used to try them on but got passed that now. Was a stage I went through. I will gradually do it.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Do you have any friends/family that could help you? I say that and I’m the absolute worst at asking for help!
I really hope things improve for you x