24yrs old.. My dad died infront of me before Christmas

No not in the slightest. And he keeps promising little things that I know he thinks are irrelevant but to me they aren’t but he’s never followed through with them and tonight he didn’t again and he’s just acting like it’s my fault for overreacting but he just doesn’t get how big of a deal everything is right now even tho it’s so not a big deal to him.
I don’t want to lose him I really don’t but I don’t know how to keep going over and over the same things when he’s supposed to be helping me get better but he’s just adding so much more stress. I get that I’m really difficult to deal with at the moment but it feels like he’s not even trying to understand he just wants to push it aside and distract me but I don’t want a distraction I want to sit and talk and I just want him to listen and understand.

I’ve basically withdrawn from uni to… I’ve been to one lesson since we started back a month and a half ago and I just don’t see myself going any more it’s too much in a small room where everyone knows.
I’ve seen very few of my close friends so I know where you’re coming from. Everyone’s world just carries on around you and you’re just stuck not moving

Have you explained to him what it means to you? Have you told him how you’re really feeling and explained your reasoning for it? I do get that people who haven’t been through this just do not get it, and won’t till they face this trauma. You have to remember that it is trauma, and need to treat ourselves accordingly. That means taking time out of studies and taking a break from society. At least that’s what I’m doing. Some people tell you to surround yourself with people, and that might work for them but for me I couldn’t imagine anything worse! It’s other people that say triggering stuff or act awkward etc.
It’s coming up to 16 weeks on Sunday. 16 weeks. 4 months since I lost my best friend. I can’t decide if it feels like ages or just yesterday. I’ve never missed someone so much. I can definitely mirror your feeling of being ‘stuck’. Spoke about that a few times, makes me bitter of everyone else being in a routine and normality. Lucky them!

Yeah I keep trying but he’s just not getting it. He says he does every time but actions are far louder than words.
No I agree with you I don’t want loads of people around me… but I do want him but it’s just not going that way and if he can’t try to appreciate/understand this then I don’t think it’s gunna resolve and get better.

That’s awful I totally understand that. Mine is 2 months in 2 days. I don’t even want to think about it. No I can’t decide whether it feels like forever or a minute ago… the time aspect still feels so numb and out of sync.

Oh trust me I know about bitter! That’s all I am nowadays

That’s a big shame, it’s always in tragedy that people can be the most disappointing. Makes me miss Dad more if that’s possible, he never disappointed me. Maybe you do need to give him an ultimatum. I’d never advise that usually, but in these circumstances, we’re so fragile, any little thing can set us back to the beginning and tbh it’s too much of a risk. If he’s not offering you comfort now, then maybe you need to think about long term.

I hate focusing on the time thing, but it is relevant. It’s Dad birthday next month, the 12th of March, and that’s going to tear me apart. My Dads birthday has been my phone’s password since I got it.

How do people do this :pensive:

Sometimes I have something like a headache in my chest, it has only started since I found my husband on our bedroom floor, he had died. I wonder if it is stress/anxiety?

MaryL, it could be worth mentioning to you GP. It could be stress or perhaps angina.
If it is angina they can give you some medication to ease it when it occurs.

It probably is but for peace of mind, I would go to the Doctor and get checked out.
I’ve recently booked myself in for blood tests just to make sure everything I’ve dealt with has been anxiety/ stress related and not anything more sinister.

Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you very much for your concern, it is much appreciated, I do believe that our Doctors are only carrying out, telephone diagnoses,
As you will all be aware I have a spinal injury, together with a number of medical conditions, I have been out once since I came out of hospital in on the 8th January of this year. I daren’t tell our children but during last night, I had a heavy fall and it took me 30 minutes to get myself into bed, because of my spinal injury, every so often my left leg lets me down, this is why I fell in the early hours of this morning.
Take care everyone,
MaryL x x

I’m very sorry to hear about your fall last night but please dont go down the route of not telling your children so you dont worry them.
After my mum died I found out that she had fallen in the kitchen the week of her mini stroke.
She told my niece but didn’t tell me and I’m so upset that she would keep that from me. I know she was trying to avoid worrying me and possibly trying to prevent me nagging her, but the pain that she wouldn’t tell me is awful. If I had known I could have kept an eye on her and even noticed her stroke earlier. She may even still be with us x

Thank you, Cheryl, I will tell both of them. If I only tell one of them only there will be some hot telephone lines :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Our 2 whilst they live a long way from each other, compare notes when they have spoken to me. :grinning: