Hi Lilypetal, as I’ve just replied to Stevie wee, I still have all my husband Keith’s belongings everywhere they have always been and intend to leave them there too. Take care, Dolly Dimple x
Hi all
Yep, I’m the same, my lovely wife of 46yrs, passed just over a year and a half ago. No way would I get rid of her personal items. She has drawer fulls of clothes, on looking at them, each item has years of happy day memories, winter cloths, Spring and summer. cloths. I couldn’t and wouldn’t discard those memories. It will all stay with me till I die… John
Not silly at all Lily. A good friend of mine has had her hubby’s shoes by the back door for seven years. It comforts her, so where’s the harm? She’s also rather fierce - she does not feel the need to justify the way she survives to anybody, and I pity the poor fool silly enough to criticize her for it 
I’m trying to cultivate that spirit too xxoo
Take care dolly I’m the same wife my wife’s stuff all here going nowhere xx
Hi everyone, my darling husband passed away 6 weeks ago and I haven’t even taken the sympathy cards down yet. Just can’t do it. They are still on the table with a lovely flowering plant. Haven’t even thought about his clothes yet. Way way too soon for me. X
It’s 11 weeks today since my dear wife died, and until today I haven’t moved a single thing of hers.
So what happened today ?
My youngest granddaughter visited with her big brother. She normally lives abroad, but is “doing” England in her gap year, and on this occasion she is staying with BB at his place in London.
She found it cold here, so we sorted out a fleece jacket of Nanny’s. Perfect all round, and we all know just how delighted Eileen would have been to see it put to this use.
Hi Ray Jay So sorry for your loss, My Husband passed nearly a year ago we had been together 59 years married 56 years , You do not have to clear the clothes out that is up to you what you want to do, I will never clear my Husbands clothes out they will stay exactly as they are in his wardrobe, they are not doing any harm where they are , I feel better knowing they are their Don’t want anyone else wearing them He was very special and so are his clothes, Take care Pammi x
It will be 7 months on 19th since my husband passed. I’d fulfilled one of our plans to fit the back bedroom out with floor to ceiling wardrobes to contain all our clothes, I’ve put some of his in one of the double wardrobes, the rest are still in his wardrobe on our bedroom. I’ve decided I shall clear his clothes that still have their labels in, all his other clothes shall stay with me until such time I’m ready to sort through them. This could be early next year, although I very much doubt it. I’ve no time restraints, don’t need the room, we had enough room when he was here, we’ve still got enough room. There’s no time limit on this, it will happen when I feel ready to, may never happen until the time comes for our son and daughter to clear our home after I have gone. My late cousin’s wife still has his clothes , it will be 3 years in March. Don’t bow to peer pressure, we’re all different, a former friend removed every trace of her husband within 3 months of his passing. As I said we’re all different. At this stage I cannot even think of removing any of the clothes he loved wearing. They’re still very much part of me and my memories
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Hi, I like you lost my husband Keith 7 months ago and I to have had our back garden finished to what we started and were going to do together once he had the time, but it wasn’t meant to be. I’m sad he didn’t get to see it but hope he sees it from where he now is.
As I’ve said before all Keith’s belongings are still with me and will be until the day comes, when or if I make the decision to do something with them.
Take care Dolly Dimple xx
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We were having a new central heating system and new bathroom are installed, which I had to arrange after being let down, the trauma of losing Alan the faced with no heating, no hot water and 2 days after his funeral the toilet packed up. All this couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Other jobs we’d planned I’ve more.or less gone ahead with, the rest I’m leaving until next year and shall decide then. Don’t know if the upheaval has helped to kerp me busy or masked my need to mourn his passing, don’t think anyone holds the answers to what is the right way or the wrong way in these instances.
Hello, so sorry to hear that you had to go through all that upheaval at the same time as trying to deal with the loss of your husband.
It no doubt helped to get you through those first few weeks, we all grieve differently, as you say there’s no right or wrong way to deal with it.
I admire your strength and determination in dealing and coping with it all. Love and hugs Dolly xx
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My husband died in July and I have yet to sort his clothes. My daughter wanted a top he often wore, and his slippers and my son has taken one or two things .Everything else is still in the room he used as a dressing room, and I sometimes go in just because it smells of him, the lovely cologne he used to wear. I feel if I empty that room he will be finally gone and I can’t bear it. Time has done nothing to make me feel any better, and today I feel very very Dow, not helped by a nasty chest infection and the thought of Xmas. I read all the posts and it is a comfort knowing I am not going potty in my misery.
Hi Toria, Keith’s daughter has asked me for an item of his clothing to have something to cuddle. We both have a ring made with his ashes and I wear his wedding ring round my neck as it’s too small for my fingers. I’m just waiting for a necklace to be made with his fingerprint on too. We are both also getting a cushion made from a top of his that we can cuddle.
I’m not doing Christmas this year, I can’t deal with it all. I’ve told the family that I want to be on my own and they have accepted my decision. It’s also Keith’s birthday this week so it’s a double hit in December without him. It’s lovely that you have a dressing room where you can still smell his cologne and feel him near.
I hope you get over your chest infection really soon. Take care Dolly, I know it’s a daft name but it’s one of them that Keith used to call me xx
Hello “Lonely”…Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.
As you rightly comment, it does take a long time to even think about clearing out your partner’s belongings. At this point, I don’t when that will be. Like you, you hang onto them in the forlorn hope that maybe your ‘missing’ other half will return. But of course, that won’t happen unfortunately. But there is no harm in wishing and wishing. Also, keeping your partner’s clothes does give you a bit of comfort. Sort of.
And like you, it does make me weep when I think of her. Which, I do, most of the time. However, you have to try to embrace the ‘new normal’. Try to fill in the big hole left behind. It ain’t easy. And seeing that this will be our first Christmas apart for 33 years, that won’t be easy either! As I’ve mentioned before, loving someone means one day losing them. Although, you hope that day will never arrive. RayJay…
Hi Dolly, I have also had a lovely Celtic gold ring made with Peter’s ashes in the blue stone, and my daughter had a charm for her Pandora bracelet. It has a dark green stone and is engraved with ‘my dad, my hero’. I have found some people who think the whole thing is very strange and a Catholic friend was very disapproving, saying that the Church do not approve. I don’t care because wearing it makes me feel he is with me. Each to their own I feel .
Hi Toria your ring sounds lovely. Mine is in red to go with the rings Keith has bought me with rubies in. I’ve had it engraved with Endless Love as that was our song.
I agree, who cares what they think it does make me feel a bit closer to him. Take care Dolly x
Maybe you could suggest to your friend that he/she has a look at the history of Sweetheart Abbey which was built to commemorate a different sort of love token, and it was all done in the name of the church.
Surprised that a Catholic should affect disapproval. Aren’t they keen on physical relics ?
No offence intended - simply curious.
I haven’t cleared anything away, but I have given a warm fleece to a visiting granddaughter.
However, I have been desperately searching for a missing favourite photograph, and chanced to look more closely into Eileen’s wardrobe. There, on the bottom, was an unopened large box of Thornton’s Continental Selection chocolates.
Were they bought for her by me ? I used to like bringing her flowers, crocs, clothes unexpectedly.
Was she saving them for Christmas ?
Were they a present for somebody else ?
Should I eat them ?
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Hello Edwin, the story of the box of chocolates is likely to remain a mystery. I’d like to think they were purchased by you, for your lovely Eileen. Reminds me of the film, Forrest Gump, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get’. Well sadly, that’s so true for us. If you’re partial to a chocolate, why not? Kind regards, x