@Poppet1973 @Numb1
I think it’s surprising where you seem to get a strength from. My hubby let me make most decisions. He was happy as long as I was. Then I crashed. I do feel I’m getting some strength back slowly. Obviously it’ll take time. It that’s our journey now. Time. X
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I know you’re right, x
Yeah you’re right. Part of it must be missing the alternative view and ideas.
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Wow, people do say some strange sh*t. They have no clue till it happens to them. I’ve had people say some bizarre things, too. I think you have a right to be annoyed.
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Yes, I liked having someone to mull things over with. It’s just me now and sometimes I wonder if I’m making the right decision over certain things.
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Morning Vic so true that’s exactly how I feel word for word
God, What you say is so true. I lost my wife, the love of my life and best friend fifteen months ago. I tell people that we started a conversation 43 years ago when we first met at a friend’s bar, and the conversation ended 15 months ago when she passed away. We were always together, talking laughing, learning and experiencing life through good times and bad. Now I feel completely lost without her. I talk to her everyday sometimes out loud. My cat just looks at me and wonders what I’m doing. lol. I cry everyday, but when I see a photo of her on my phone I smile through the tears. Yes, everything matters so much less without the love of your life. Others cannot make up for that, even though they try. It is just so painful, and I will never surrender those feelings for my wife so the pain is worth it to me, and I will carry it with me until we meet again.
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That is all so true Vic. I have a loneliness that no amount of friends can fill as I just want my best friend, life long companion and beloved hubby back. What friends can do is offer some distraction and allow you to talk about your loss - so very important. I miss the ordinary everyday moments, the being together without having to fill silences with endless pointless chatter. Just have to be grateful for the loving memories - I cling to mine. Stay strong.
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I totally agree vic, it’s been 3 years since I lost my wife, I miss her every day, as you say the person you loose leaves a space no one can fill,
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My husband always asked me would you miss me if I died and I said I dont know until it happens.
Now I wish I had answered him, I miss him so much every day, my heart is broken and im devastated that he’s gone.
Now he will never know how I really feel about losing him, I should have answered him all those times.
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I could write a book of things you just shouldn’t say to the bereaved! A friend stopped me in the street and asked how I was, I replied ‘not so good’ and they said ‘why, what’s wrong now?’!!!
I hate it when people say ‘you are doing so well’! At that moment I’m putting on my smile mask, which covers the endless days and nights of crying.
Or, ‘your looking well’ or ‘your being so brave’… in other words accept the compliment and don’t tell me your sorrows!
I could go on and on! X
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It’s been 13 weeks since I lost my husband of 42 years . I miss him terribly the waking up and sharing our first cup of tea and coffee of the day. I get through the day but 4.00 comes and that is the worst no one to discuss the day with or watch the chase no one to cook for or eat with no one to discuss the 6.00 news no one to share a box set with.
I have started journaling when I get in bed which has helped.
And yes there is no one like him but family and friends are there 
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Morning, I have bought or eat a proper meal since my husband was in the hospital. I don’t see the point anymore.
I get you about sharing things, its the silence that hits me, not being able to sit and talk, snuggle up to him and watch tv together.
My heart feels like its been ripped out, after 22 years half of me is missing
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You are right there early days for me my husband died in nov I hate the being on my own most of the family now don’t visit much
Cooking for one I hate but do eat properly as my husband made me promise
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I’ve spoken to some people who lost their partners years ago. They still miss them. That I guess is true love. I don’t know if my heart will ever mend. I’m same as so many on here. I plod on with the fake smile. Then home to an empty house. Unless people have gone through it they don’t and never will understand. So it’s day by day. That’s all we can do until we see them again. Xx
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Thats it now for me, just waiting for the day I can finally be with him again xx
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Exactly the same here - if only I believed we would see them again as would make it slightly more bearable!
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If some higher being (or whoever your God is) told me that I would be with her again, once my time was up, I could accept all the crap we are going through, I envy people who have deep religious beliefs in the afterlife.
Vic.
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We have to believe in something. It’s the thing that’s keeping me going at the moment. I’ve got to have something to grab onto. X
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Me too, but just can’t get there!
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