Some very good tips and positive vibes from @Walan and @Pattidot. Cooking was a big part of our lives and I struggle with the motivation to do it now. But I know I will feel better (physically) for getting back to healthier meals. Batch cooking and a soup maker may be the way forward. Thank you.
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Itās definitely been the motivation problem with me, I almost hate going into the kitchen. I see my husband in there with me!
Small steps today, I have bought a piece of salmon, small potatoes and vegetables for tomorrow (been out today for lunch), so will try and start making decent meals.
I am told an air fryer would help. I might think about it.
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@Rome18 well done for taking the first steps. All the memories are still so hard to navigate. Take care.
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Hi Walan - I have to say your posts re cooking are inspirational. Your wife would be so so proud of you. You have brought a smile to my face today & for that thank you.
Take care. & thank you again. Alison xx
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Hey Skip, if you can cook soup you can cook a stew, or a casserole, or tomato sauce. Soup is also a really good basis for trying out flavors as well, thereās so many soups out there from different cultures, and once youāve got the basics of the flavour then its just a step up to making curries, chilies, risotto! Google and YouTube are definitely your friends here, its really not that difficult, and as I said if you can make soupā¦
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Thanks, it means a lot, itās not often these days I get to feel that I can cheer people up, I ām sure we can all understand that feeling, so thank you. I know you finding inspiration would have made my wife so happy, she loved to share her enthusiasm for food and spread the happiness it could bring. One of humanities greatest collective achievements x
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Thank you again, you have given a lot us inspiration and I am so pleased our responses have cheered you up.
I am looking forward to cooking my salmon and vegetables tomorrow.
Do you use an air fryer? They seen to be very popular,
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No sorry never used one, but my dad swears by his, from what I understand itās basically a tiny fan oven, got to be worth a go if it makes things easier!
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I have so far in 9 weeks lost the will to cook as itās not the same . Someone that really appreciated my cooking has gone .
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Thanks @Walan great tips there x
At 9 weeks I was really just surviving, be kind to yourself with expectations. Honestly I celebrated the first time I made bit of toast, then I expanded to porridge, Big Step. And then I remembered to brush my teeth. It all comes back
@walan I love your positive posts and you have made me think, which I like. Food was a joy for me and my partner, cooking was a joy and we cooked for each other and really enjoyed the food. For 12 months before he died we had eaten really healthily and had got ourselves to a really good place health and fitness wise.
Sadly he died suddenly of a cardiac arrest, sudden and unexpected, and I have reverted back to very old habits food wise as I donāt see the point, he was fit and healthy but still died. He was only 49! Take aways and cereal are my dinner. The thought of cooking brought a pain to my chest and a wave of sadness as a result I hate cooking and donāt see the point to it.
However, how youāve worded your post has made me think and genius about the batch cooking, before grief I would have thought of that myself but it all goes tits up when it happens to you.
Thank you for being positive and I think I will be cooking sooner than later, with a few extras as that will help when I go camping too!
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HI Ali29, I know the pain and the sadness you talk of, for me I think it came from the intimacy of the kitchen, long days of fun and work cooking for friends and each other. There have been a lot of tears for me and a lot of sadness going back to cooking and itās still a developing situation, but at the moment I feel the benefit of facing that space. Maybe itās just the station Iām at just now and things will move on but it was definitely a part of our lives that I felt a need to experience. And in the end Iām very glad I did, and if I can help any one in any way through this horror show then that has to be a good thing. First I rediscovered the outdoors through walking in nature and now Iām looking to those internal spaces, walking softly but coming back with things that I can use. And when it all gets too much, back outdoors. Iāve found that this simple rhythm means I donāt have to think too much about what to do, I have things I can just do, no decisions necessary. And for me going back to cooking is an attempt to create another space where I can just be, itās difficult, thereās a lot to unpack and look at and cry over. I think its a work in progress, but at the moment a work with doing. Sorry I tend to ramble and digress so I hope this makes sense!
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Like just now, after writing that post and sitting thinking then crying. Then I go to tidy the kitchen and find the lamb stock I made yesterday, that came from a meal I cooked for a friend on Monday, where my friend and I talked of my wife and the love she had for cooking for people, which inspired me to post in this thread yesterday. And now I have some stock and I can just get on with making soup for lunch and move a bit more gently through the day.
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Your posts are so wonderful. I just wish I could cook. I will try. I bought some onions so I think I should manage a simple pasta sauce and then freeze some.
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@Walan, Just been to our M&S food shop and my basket was full of much better food items, than I had bought since losing my husband, all thanks to you giving me the inspiration.
I am going to make some soup at the weekend; potato and leek, my husbandās favourite.
Enjoy your lunch soup.
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I have told my son I am doing a roast dinner for Sunday . I know it will be difficult to not hear Andrewās praises. It is also hard to be not told I love you and you are beautiful every day
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@Jol, well done thinking of doing a roast on Sunday, just try and remember your wonderful memories when you all ate together. Enjoy it albeit sad.
Every single day is hard, the intensity of missing Richard gets worse every day because I am suddenly reminded of yet another lovely thing he did or said, however small, I feel I am being punished but goodness knows why?
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Hey Pudding, this is a good starting point for all you need to know about the basics of cooking a tomato sauce. In the article the writer goes through various aspects of the sauce, looks at and compares different recipes and techniques and at the end theres a very good basic recipe for a tomatoe sauce. Hope it helps.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2013/aug/01/how-to-make-perfect-tomato-sauce
And if you find it useful then I can recommend any of the recipes in the series which you can find here
Some of them might seem a bit daunting but there are some good recipes in there that anyone can make, I think on the first page theres a really good recipe for lentil soup. Dont worry too much about following recipes to the letter, stock cubes are fine. And if you dont have the energy to look through them all just google āHow to make the perfect (name of dish)ā and if its in there it will be in the google search results.
Im not really sure of your situation but if you have trouble with prepping one of these might help
Really hope its ok to post these links, if not please delete and Iāll post some phrases for google.
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Thanks Rome18, I hope it goes well, my wife would be delighted that people found inspiration in our shared love of food!
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