Hi Beki,
Thank you so very much for popping in. You are indeed a cat lady! with all your fostering. That really is amazing. I’ve thought about doing that myself in the future but not sure I could handle the emotional side of illness and cruelty. Can’t watch it on tv or pop ups on the internet. I have no ‘barrier’ when it comes to animals. I feel the pain too intensely. So you can understand where I’ve been to this weekend. Shock, grieving for her when she hasn’t even died yet etc. Totally unprepared for her being ‘old’. Just like mam. I keep wondering why I didn’t sit with her more, be more attentive, monitor her well being and notice the weight loss. We’ve always had cats in the family. Marmalade was 21 when he left. The pain of losing Porscha is too immense. She is my baby and I can’t imagine life without her.
Feeling a lot calmer now and hopeful that Porsch will still be with me for a little while yet. The vet today was great. She explained about thyroid medication and the warnings attached to it for the kidneys. Hope she will put on some weight with her steroid injection today and new meds for appetite stimulant. I had to ask about that as it wasn’t mentioned and I assumed it would be the right thing to do with weight loss.
You are truly amazing to care for all those cats (not all in one go!) There’s a cat rescue called Bluebells here that does fostering so will keep it in mind for the future. Feel like I’m betraying Porsch just mentioning it!
I know I beat myself up, blame myself for not being better, taking better care of Porsch etc. It’s my natural reaction to stress. I revisit the past, like I do with mam, and try to make it perfect, imagining everything I shoulda, woulda, coulda done. I know it’s silly and I don’t know why I do it to myself. But I do. I wish I had taken Porsch with me to visit my parents at the old house so Porsch could have played in the garden instead of leaving her at home. She’s a lot more mellow in her old age than the temperamental drama queen she used to be! She does enjoy her outings in the car and I’m sure she recognised the vet building because she cried when we arrived. She knew what was coming. It’s really hard trying to remain calm and positive so she doesn’t pick up my vibes of anxiety. Still not sure how I manage it with my agoraphobia.
Have had to pop back inside to plug in the laptop so I’ll go for now. Don’t want to leave Porsch on her own. Whatever time we have now is precious.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Christine
I’m so happy you have had a positive visit at the vet. What a weight that must be from your shoulders. Time to focus on yourself a now as well. Porsche won’t want you ending up having a burnout with exhaustion!
Now that I know you’ve come home and you have had a good consultation I’ll get ready to go the Asda so by the time I’ve been there and faffed about with tea making and clearing it will be very late when I check in, but I will do so before before the end of the day!
Put your feet up for a bit and pleased Porsche did well on her journey.
Will chat soon.
Much love xx
Hi Tina,
I’ve been sitting with Porsch in the garden trying not to fall asleep! She’s loving the attention and enjoying her food again. Loves me just sitting stroking her, not even doing my puzzle book as I can’t concentrate. No appetite so just had a hot choc until later. We’ve come in now as it’s cooled off quite a bit. Going to catch up on some Judge Judy. See you later on! xxx
Hi Christine,
It been one of those days, sorry I haven’t got back to you sooner
What a difference today, you seem much calmer and you had a vet that explained everything you needed to know. Plus your therapist checked in on you.
What a lovely day to sit with Porsch in the garden just enjoying each others company. Bonus she likes the new food, hope she will like the paste food just a much.
I know your feeling brighter as talking about scrap booking and your textiles.
Love and hugs to you and Porsch.
Love Debbie xx 
Hi Christine
I thought I’d check in now whilst it’s quiet here. I only got back from Asda late, so watched the Soaps on catch-up and had my tea at the same time. So Ive got the putting away and doing the washing up to do yet. I wouldn’t leave it I overnight Mum would be horrified! To be honest so would I. I saw a huge Yankee candle at Asda and debated should I/shouldn’t I buy it. In the end I did buy it. Juicy Pineapple fragrance isn’t really my thing but at 1.50 it’s no great loss.
I’m glad you have a plan of action in place now for Porsche. You said all this started after taking her in for her claws but I believe everything has a purpose that happens and that claw visit in its own way, maybe was to bring all this to light so she could get the best care.
I understand about the Hyperthyroidism and the fast heartbeat and weightloss. If she was human you’d probably see her jittery and jumpy too. Always revved up as you say. I’m not a cat (obvs!) but I have the opposite which is hypothyroidism, an under-active thyroid. Everything is reversed and slows down. (Including cognitive function so no wonder I’m three sheets to the wind half the time!
I read the Creep has changed his van. The entire world it seems now owns a white van. If I ever have to wait for a lift from a family member or anyone I have this fear of getting in the wrong car so my trick is to memorise the last part of the registration. At least I’m not likely to make an idiot of myself then.
Well I’ll have to wash up now so I will bid farewell to you both. Hope its nice enough for you to be out. If creep gets on your nerves just turn your back on him añd think how nice it feels not to be like him.
On that note I will have to do this washing up!
Speak tomorrow and have a peaceful nights sleep, bet you are ready for it.
xx
Hi Debbie,
Yes, information is a wonderful thing. I feel more in control of being able to manage Porscha and she is already eating more and very often. So the steroid injection seems to have made a big difference. She loves that I sit with her when she eats, piling the food with a fork and turning her plate. I’m not sure how bad her teeth are and how many she has (still has all the sharp ones at the front when I’m trying to get her tablet in!). But she is enjoying eating again which is lovely to see. Hope to find a poo in her tray tomorrow! I’ve had to order more food tonight while waiting for her paste. She is loving that I’m not busy and very attentive to her. I’ve even put her food bowl on a cushion tray so she doesn’t have to bend as much to eat. I’m enjoying taking care of her like this and not stressed like I was. I do think it’s because I understand what is happening and that with careful management her condition isn’t the death sentence I first thought. Having the scrapbooks to work on is an easy thing which I can pick up and put down when she needs me. But I know when her time comes I will return to that devastation I felt at the weekend. It’s on hold for now, lurking beneath the surface. Also being so tired seems to have diluted the trauma. Sure it will catch me again when I wake up.
Thank you for checking on me. I felt very alone and scared without my mam to help me . I couldn’t have coped otherwise.
See you tomorrow.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Tina,
Just settling down now after giving Porsch another bite. She still has her last tablet (it’s late because I got in late from the vets and its 2 twelve hours apart). She seems to accept she has to have them now but still fights and spits it out. She’s been purring and happy with all the attention and gives a little cry when she wants me. I was saying to Debbie how I feel much more in control now that I understand what is happening. And with her steroid injection she’s eating more and often. It did hurt her and she cried out but was very good because I was looking into her face when it was being done so she wasn’t as scared. She’s coping very well with it all. I’ve had to do another food order so I don’t run out before her paste arrives. I’ll do a mix of the two at first to introduce it.
I’m so sorry that you have hypothyroidism. So everything slows down? I seem to be a mix between the two with my anxiety (revved up) and then chronic fatigue (can’t get going and have to sleep to ‘bank’ energy just to feel normal). I’ve been tested for thyroid and its ok. Sure it’s to do with the high ferritin (iron stored in the blood and not being circulated). My July appointment has been postponed (and that was the postponed appointment from last year).
I look at Porsch now and wonder how I could have been so blind not to see how tiny she is now. I’ve been so immersed in the garden that I didn’t pay attention. She’s not even being sick now with fur balls. I look back and wonder when did the being sick stop. I had changed her food before the trip to the vets and that seemed to do the trick. It’s exhausting trying to make sense of it and feeling guilty that I should have known. But getting her claws done has exposed her condition so she will be well managed from now on. It really is like having a child! She loves that I’m there as soon as she calls.
I am ‘well jel’ of your pineapple candle. Will be lovely and sweet for summer. Reminds me of the Body Shop products I used to get years ago. My fave has and always will always be coconut. Asda do a shower gel that is lovely.
If you got into the creeps van by mistake he whisk you off to some secret room to keep as his pet. Imagine if you ended up next door! I’d drill through the wall myself to rescue you! Dear knows what he’s capable of.
You are good doing the washing up and not leaving it for the morning like I do. I hate having to wash a cup just so I can have my cuppa. I do have lots of extra washing up when Porsch needs a new bowl and large plate to cover it until she goes back next time. I wonder how many animals are abandoned in their old age because they need extra care, attention and love. Not to mention the cost of the food. There’s so many stories pop up on you tube and I have to just not look or read it. Can’t bear the cruelty. Can’t understand it.
Must give Porsch her anti biotic now. Wish me luck. It’s a large one so more of a struggle and she’s settled now for bed.
Catch up again tomorrow. Lots of love xxx
Hiya Christine.
Good on Porsche and good on you for things being better for her. You make a fabulous duo. Yes, you are totally right about pets being the same as kids for worry. I tried to get Zoe to wee before bed, she wouldn’t, I tried to get her to wee at 4.50am but when I opened the door she just wanted to loll on the grass and I tried at 6.30am and still no wee. So I’m gonna try again in a min or Porsche won’t be the only one making a vet trip. He just says If she don’t wanna wee she doesn’t want to wee but as we know waterworks problems are never as simple as that are they.
I’m so glad it’s cooler and a bit damper than before for a while although it’s to rain none stop for a week now so I’ll not be saying that in a few days probably! I can imagine Porsch will feel the benefit of the cooler weather as well.
I really must make an effort to get to some different shops today as I’m getting really jittery now at the thought going anywhere that I’m not used to. I am in awe of Neil, I couldn’t manage what he does, all those different places, all those crowds. Long may it continue for him.
Well, I’ll go and make a coffee and see what’s next on the agenda!!
Much love and will pop in again later xx
Morning to Nick, Palou and Ñeil.
Neil I hope the cold has cleared up now. Its a right pain when you get a cold in the summer months.
Nick, hope you’ve not been overdoing it in the garden. What seems like a 5minute job can well last for a couple of hours before you know it. Time runs away with you.
Palou, good morning hope you are ok and well.
Much love to all xx
Hi Tina
Thank you. Day by day it’s getting better. Never get colds or coughs but this one took me by surprise and was worse with the heat at the weekend. Can breathe more easily now and the cough is seemingly under control. Gradual improvement every day .
Hope you are well.
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
Hi Tina, I have not done much at all the last few days, it was just too hot. But, I got carried away yesterday. The brother’s neighbour came over to help with the garden. We cut down a lot of brambles, Ivy and Holly. Not much to go now. It will take weeks to get rid of the cut offs. - Lunch club again today. - Nick
Hi Tina,
Glad you’re here before my therapy. I got really upset again cleaning her tray as it’s soaked through. I have 2 puppy training pads on the floor under her tray, one on the tray and then one inside of her actual tray with the litter. Makes her kidney failure real again after having wrapped my head around what is happening and trying to be grown up about it. I just don’t know how I will cope when she goes. I don’t even mind all the cleaning now. And she’s waking me up throughout the night for a bite, so the steroid injection is certainly working. Just ordered another batch of litter, puppy pads and cleaning stuff as it didn’t arrive in my shop the other day. I’m worn out! But I will keep being attentive to whatever she needs for however long she has. It’s heartbreaking to see how old she is because I didn’t ‘see’ the reality before now. I’ll take all the info with me to my therapy and I know I’ll be in floods of tears again.
Are you able to monitor how many wees Zoe has? I only know how important it is now. When I call the vet they have a list of life threatening things and that is on there.
What a pair we are with our love and care! If I’d been like this with Porsch generally she would have been over the moon and taking full advantage no doubt. But real life is full of being busy and getting things done. None of those things are important now - my garden, textiles… Thinking of Porsch with her limited time (not sure if knowing would be more upsetting) makes me think of mam and wishing I’d had that quality time with her before she went into hospital and was put on morphine. Either way is horrific when there’s nothing to be done to stop it. Mam used to say I wasn’t tough enough for this world and it’s true. I’m such a softie and can’t seem to accept the things that are devastating. Like a child. But my feelings will have to be expressed in private so Porsch isn’t distressed. She’s having a good bite again before I go out. Just managed to get her tablet into her. She’s on 4 a day until the anti biotic is finished for her bladder infection. She’s always watching me now incase I try to get her!
It is such a relief being cool and cloudy with the threat of rain. I love the rain. Nothing nicer than watching it with the windows open. Porsch wants to be out all the time so she won’t be pleased. Not looking forward to the hail and tornados warning on the weather forecast!
I do admire Neil and his ability to keep enjoying those outings. Being agoraphobic is such a double edged sword in that I need a balance between trying to go out and being in ‘control’ of that (swimming, getting petrol, therapy, popping in a shop) and the relief of being at home and not having to go out. But then I have the anxiety of the creep when he is here and I battle to go into the garden or hide in the bedroom. I wonder what he is up to when I am not at home and when I am sleeping. I still cannot believe that the council left the loft wall for 3 months to deal with the rat situation, allowing him access whenever I went to visit my parents. Made being out and also at home even kore anxiety provoking. Can’t believe that this is actually my life.
Through my therapy I have learned techniques to be in control of my life (shopping for everything on line) and doing things I enjoy when I am able to (swimming). Trying to do things in a relaxed way using breathing techniques is still an ongoing thing I haven’t mastered because the fear overrides everything. When we were chatting about Porscha’s hyper thyroid he said that people with hypo thyroid have a harder time in the summer with hot weather. So we are directly affected by our environment. Being hot makes me anxious, I sweat when anxious and then that increases my anxiety until I panic. Throw into that hot flashes (I can then hot flushes) with the menopause with no HRT (because my cancer was estrogen based and I would be at risk of other cancers) and you can imagine how I would want to escape and not be anywhere near anyone. So the crowded vet waiting room is the worse possible situation I could be in. But I had to for Porsch or I wouldn’t have her medication. Kept having to wait outside. I actually feel like I will pass out when it’s real panic. Until you experience it you can only imagine the horror! I missed the menopause doc when it was on. I’m sure women in my situation would develop panic attacks just having the hot flushes in public. So humiliating. So yes, I do indeed prefer the cooler weather ! And being out in the rain when everyone’s dashing about is even better. That sense of being anonymous like you said before.
I’ll be thinking of you trying to get out somewhere. I’ve found I have a small window of opportunity before I panic and so will limit the time I do things in. There’s always a huge sense of relief and achievement afterwards. If I had someone to do things with I’m sure I wouldn’t panic half as much and be able to build up my tolerance. Can’t be any old random though. I’d have to trust them. Trust you lot!
I’m letting Porsch stay out until I have to leave. Not going swimming like usual as I don’t want to leave her alone for too long.
Wish I could chat to mam and tell her about Porsch. I’m on the verge of tears again. My therapist always puts things into perspective. I wish I didn’t have to carry the worry on my own. I know I’m sharing here and without you all I really don’t know how I would have got through the weekend.
Going to check in on Porsch again. She’s loving all this attention!
Lots of love xxx
Hi Neil,
Just wanted to say hi before I leave for my therapy. I’ve calmed down about Porsch and having the physical routines of cleaning up, attending to her food and tablets gives me purpose during the day. The upset is still there but I’m trying to contain it.
Are you taking anything for your cold? Paracetamol will take the edge off. And honey in hot water will work on your throat. So annoying. But it always does take us by surprise. The temperatures are so up and down but I was just saying to Tina what a relief it is to have a cooler day and rain on the way, especially as I’m not up to watering the garden.
Porsch is quite the ravenous creature now. She’s loving her food again, even if it is mostly the gravy and just some bits of meat. Relieved she’s doing better than she was and I’m getting the tablets into her now with less stress. She still fights me but knows she can’t win!
Will pop back again later today. Not going swimming as I don’t want to leave her alone for longer than I have to.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Nick,
Enjoy your lunch club today! Did you take before and after pics of the garden? Great to have spent time with the neighbour and really great that they helped clear the brambles etc. I remember moving in here with a third of the garden covered in dense bramble that took me weeks to clear on my own. New ones still spring up unexpectedly but I’ll train them along the fence.
I was very saddened to see my lovely irises destroyed (must have been foxes making a bed) and my fairy lights broken (caught the baby squirrel again hanging upside down trying to open the bird feeder). I rescued a couple of birds over the weekend when I was sitting out with Porsch. A tiny sparrow was stuck inside a feeder without it’s lid and couldn’t get back out. And a chunky baby who must have got left behind waiting all day for it’s mother to return, fiddling about the garden. I kept an eye and had to chase the cat from along the doors. Luckily the heat made it less of a hunter.
Porsch is on the end now. I know she won’t get better and will get worse but is eating again and enjoying all the attention.
How is your situation with the cars? You’ve made great progress with the garden so when you do move in you’ll be able to plan the space and gradually settle into it. The Autumn is a lovely time for seasonal planting. Starting off with one pot of seasonal colour will lift your spirits a little and getting out there on a blustery day is quite thrilling (I’m easily pleased!) I’ve lost my drive to get jobs finished in the garden as Porsch is my priority now. Will get back to it when she settles. A lovely way to engage with the garden is to encourage wildlife in with bird seed and fat balls, nuts for squirrels. I create a concoction for them. So wonderful to watch them.
Getting ready for my therapy now.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Christine, you would not believe it. It was my third day at lunch club today and I won a second free meal. ??
Yes, I did take some photos before I started the work on my garden. I still have to clear up a bit more before I am going to post the photos. I have put out a new bird feeder few days again and was not sure what my last cat Tammy would do. Well, I should not have worried about the cat. A blackbird chased her and she tried to hide. Poor thing! The blackbirds used to do it with the mother cat Fluffy. Fluffy also had kidney problems but carried on for several years.
I cleaned the brake discs of the first car and took out the pad for the rear disks so the car can be moved. I am waiting now for it to be picked up. I have to do the same with the second car but I need more space. Can only do once I get rid of the first car. The third car will give me problems. It is too close the neighbours garage and tot in line with the drive. Well, I will find out.
I will probably plant something new where I am cutting down the holly trees. I might keep two of the holly but have cut off the lower branches already. Perhaps the birds will nest there again next year. I have to admit, I am useless with plants. - I only hope that one of the roses will come back again. It was choked by the holly and brambles.
I have put out some fat balls for the birds, and would love to have some squirrels. It would have to be the red ones. They gray ones are not allowed here.
Give Porsche a big hug from me - Nick
Hi Nick,
Did you have a look at Redcorn if you are scrapping the cars? As long as your cars have tyres they can be dragged onto the trailer with the metal pully system. Not sure what the price is now for scrap metal but they were the best whenever I’ve scrapped my cars. I’m sure the neighbours will allow you some wriggle room for the third car. If not I’d avoid them. Some people enjoy making trouble for others. People round here seem to thrive on it. I was pleased that the new bloke hadn’t parked in my bay when I got home today. He was standing around and I said hi and had a chat. He’s been decorating for the woman before she moves in (he’s not) and I mentioned the creep and for her to be vigilant. So they know now. What they do with the info is up to them. I did say I wasn’t being a gossip but that if she’s on her own not to leave windows open. I get the impression he’s very nosy!
Sounds like you’ve made fab progress with the garden, and putting out seeds will get the birds visiting you quickly. And the more trees you have the better chance squirrels will visit and nest too. If you put out nuts and raisons they’ll soon become a feature. I caught the baby squirrel trying to get into the bird feeder again.
It’s a shame you aren’t keeping your holly trees. They’d make a great hedge if trimmed regularly and make beautiful wreaths for xmas. I always collect holly and ivy for my xmas decs. And if you’ve pruned the roses they should come back with new growth. Just let them be for a bit and see what happens. It’s a bit confusing as to what needs cutting back and how much and when. Anything you need to know just Google it. I do.
Feeling less anxious about Porsch being ill. I always have a better perspective on things when I’ve seen my therapist. I felt like I would have to give up doing everything to care for her. But to keep going with normal life, finishing my garden jobs, is what we both need. It was shocking news and not delivered well. I don’t know how long she has because I don’t know what stage she is at. But like you say Fluffy lived for years and many cats do so there’s hope for Porsch too. She’s very pampered and spoilt! Loving the extra attention.
Your brother will be proud of the work you’ve done. And getting out into the community with your lunch club is such a positive step forward. I wish I could do it but my panic attacks keep me isolated. Winning your lunches is an extra bonus. Enjoy!
It’s so much cooler today, thank goodness and I’m waiting for the rain to arrive. I’m allowing myself to take it easy after the news about Porsch.
Keep going with the cars and garden. It’s worth it when you free up the space and can start living in it. Looking forward to your pics! Do you have a bench or focal point to sit in to make your plans? It’s exciting creating a new space and will give your days purpose.
Lots of love xxx
Porsch in her nest infront of the open fireplace which is cool on hot nights.
Enjoying the garden where we sit together. Still looks so young.
xxx
She is lovely Christine, looks very cozy on her fur nest.
Love Debbie xx
Hi Debbie,
I’m waiting for a call back from the vet as she had diarrhea this afternoon after her third penicillin tablet (1 tablet twelve hours apart from Monday lunchtime). Think it’s just a reaction and because she’s mostly just eating the gravy in her food. Fine apart from that. She’s so tiny it’s not really surprising. Hope I don’t have to take her in tonight because it’s quite a drive.
She loves her fur nest!
Will update tomorrow .
Lots of love xxx
Hi Christine
Glad you got back from therapy safely. Just to get things physically “off your chest” by verbalising and talking seems to make you feel a bit lighter in yourself. It doesn’t make it go away, but worry can be felt in every part of your body can’t it.
Porsch looks really at ease in those photos. I remember thinking when I saw her in some recent photos how well she looked with her clear eyes so I was really shocked when all this happened. Pets are both a gift and a worry from when you get them. But it’s the luck of the draw which home they go to and I am very sure Porsche got lucky when she came to your home.
Sorry to hear the menopause situation is still bothering you. Do you know I can’t even notice the menopause happening. Definitely no hot flushes etc. But my sister is completely the opposite and has lost all concentration skills, brain fog is the worst. She transcribes taped interviews between the police and charged suspects for Court as a job. Good job I don’t do that as 1 comma in the wrong place and I’d be sending someone down for a very long time! You could always confiscate the creeps power tools and tell the Police “the menopause made me do it”, you can get away with all sorts whilst going through the menopause!
I do appreciate this cooler weather more. Today has been rainy too. It doesn’t seem two minutes ago since I was forever moaning about my winter aches and pains. If you have hypothyroidism you feel so much colder as your body’s thermostat is faulty. Silly me gets out of the habit of taking my medication so ive only myself to blame!
I didn’t go out after all, I was exhausted. I have been a lot recently. I really need to try tomorrow.
I’ll have to sign off now, incredibly tired.Love to you both xx
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