Feeling so lonely that it's overwhelming

Hi, I completely empathise with you - I wish I had kept more than the couple of items I did. I spent so much time on my own when Steve was in and out of hospital, and then seven weeks’ stabilisation in the hospice, coming home for three weeks before returning for the final time, that I thought I had become immune to isolation and loneliness. The big difference was Steve was still here to care for, hug and talk to. There was always someone coming to check something or other, shopping to do etc. etc. Now I feel there is no real need for me to do anything. Alternatively, I find an excuse to go into town just so that I don’t spend the day moping. I start work again next month - so we shall see how that goes.

Hello Marian. I know where you are coming from as it will be 2 months tomorrow since I lost my husband to Suicide.
I am not able yet to even attempt to sort anything in the house as it still feels very raw.
The house is very large so you can imagine how much stuff we have bought over almost 50 years of Marriage.
It would have been our Golden Anniversary in October but now I will be spending it on my own.
I will have to downsize as it is far to big to manage but have to sort out things to sell before I can even begin to think about it
I have a very good neighbour who has cut the lawns for me today so I took the opportunity to be out in the garden which my Husband loved and I felt he was watching us and telling us not to do it that way.
I miss him dreadfully and dread bed time and mornings when I have to start another day without him by my side.
Depression caused this to happen but I didn’t know or realise he was so bad.
I would like to keep in touch with you as our grief is very new.
Hugs Christine x

I miss the companionship more than anything else.I sit here with no one to talk to and it’s miserable.I can’t expect miracles after only 2 weeks but please,someone reassure me this will get better.

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Hello again, Bryan,
I am sorry not to have replied to you sooner, I have only just seen your post. Yes, we were in contact some time ago and I am pleased that you have made contact again.
My dear husband, Stan, hadn’t been well for some time, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, however, this diminished, he was prescribed some medication and injections and we couldn’t believe our luck. Very sadly he became unwell, this happened gradually, it got to the point where he just wanted to sleep all day. He was so tired all the time. He was admitted to hospital, it took our daughter to take him, the doctor he was seeing said that his fatigue was due to his age, he was a very young looking 84 years of age.
“Rubbish” we all thought, this is when our daughter took him to hospital. The three of us do believe that Stan was told something whilst he was in there, which he kept to himself, he then
had a few weeks in a care home and ended up going to our daughter and son-in-law, he was away about 17 weeks in total. I truly believe that this was God’s way of testing me. I have multiple health problems, to name two I injured my spine, many years ago and my mobility was practically nil. The other biggie was my being diagnosed with an inherited blood disorder called porphyria (think King George 111) this meant that I was housebound due to my being allergic to daylight and the sun. Stan was my rock and he cared for me cheerfully, without complaint. I feel guilty now, that he did too much for me, the day he died, last August, the doctor came out to see him and decided that he would be placed on “home observation”. Both of us were very pleased, Stan had a dread of going back into hospital. The same day he developed a terrible attack of diarrhoea and sickness, I went to ask a friend and neighbour to come and take a look at him (she is medically trained), if I was out of our bungalow more than three minutes, I am stretching it. When I returned I found him dead on the bedroom floor, the infection had moved to his heart and it just stopped. (a post mortum) revealed this.
I am sorry that this is a long post, thank you for reading it. We did love each other more and more as the years rolled by, I am certain that when God decides that the time is right, we shall be reunited. My love and admiration,

MaryL

Bulstrode,

You will cope with the help of the Almighty, as a scientist, you probably have mixed feelings about this, I don’t wish to pry, it is a feeling that I have. My late husband, Stan, was an academic too, yet he had Faith and he believed in the Afterlife, as I do, he wasn’t as convinced as I am. I am pleased that you have visitors, so do I, especially phone calls. As good as that is, the one we want is our beloved husband/wife/partner, we share so much as we go through this difficult life it is like losing a limb if we come to be alone as we are. We may have good children/friends and this is much appreciated, however, no one can ever take the place of our beloved other half. I hope and pray that you find some comfort here.

Love and warm wishes,

MaryL

I thought I believed in the Afterlife but I would like a sign just to prove that it exists.I watch all the stuff on you tube about NDE but no one knows what happens when you actually die.If what I watch,then I need to know that he is happy and waiting for me

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I honestly never thought or looked for the afterlife. When mum died I’ve had things happen which I can’t talk about on here as people will think I’m nuts. But it’s honestly truly happened. I’m told you might need to have a gift for a spiritualist Connection to feel these things. Which now after what’s happened I’m starting to believe I have of some sorts. Even that makes me sound crazy. I never thought about stuff like this ever!!! Some stuff I do discard as coincidence. And
Some things I’m like “I know that’s you mum”.

No you’re not nuts.I wish I could experience something like that.Maybe Rob and I are not on the same wavelength

My daughter did when her Grandad died.She was staying at her Nannys,sleeping on the couch when she was woken by bright green orbs floating round the kitchen.I believe her.

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I don’t think it’s about your connection. I think it’s something else. I don’t know what. As my dad hasn’t experienced a thing either nor my brother. X

I think some people are tuned in and some people are not. And nothing you can do about that I believe.

That’s true.Maybe we are wishing too hard for something to manifest itself.I wouldn’t bother with mediums because I think they are just trading on people’s grief

I’m not sure about that Jill my cousin visited one who told her things she could not have possibly known. She recorded it aswell. It’s quite remarkable. It was a one to one. So no one lurking in an audience listening to conversations. no one looking on Facebook for details as this was 15 years ago.

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