Glad that’s all sorted!! 
xxx
Absolutely. All friends again 
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for the arguments and unpleasant atmosphere in some conversations lately - I can completely understand that some people are finding it very off-putting. It’s very sad to see, when this community has always had a very supportive atmosphere.
We do take personal attacks, abuse and other breaches of the community guidelines very seriously. Posts that break the guidelines will be removed, and people who repeatedly break the guidelines can have their accounts temporarily suspended, or, if problems continue after this, could even be permanently banned. Given the sensitive nature of the site and how important it is to people for support, it is our policy to try to work with people first by issuing warnings and reminders of the guidelines, but we do take more serious action if problems continue after this.
I’m sorry that we’ve been a little slow to delete posts in a few instances - we normally have sufficient moderation cover to deal with reports pretty promptly, but the volume of posts and reports in some of these incidents was well above what we normally deal with, so some situations did take a bit of time to read through everything and take action.
Thank you Priscilla. I don’t think this lockdown has helped at all. Everything is heightened and magnified. Hopefully normal service has been resumed.
I don’t think people should complain over deviation of topic. It’s natural and happens. Just let the conversation flow. Loss comparisons should be avoided as it just causes hurt. And lastly. People should be able to post in whichever topic they want to. Even if they haven’t suffered that particular loss. What harm are a few supportive words From someone especially if they haven’t had a reply from others . Regardless of that persons loss.
In short. Just more tolerance. Less rudeness. And we can all support each other again
That’s my bit said. 
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Well said jooles x
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No, we don’t have any rule about only replying to the same type of loss, and I don’t think it would be helpful to have one - we’ve seen plenty of people have helpful and supportive conversations, even where the relationships to the people they’ve lost are different. And we wouldn’t want to see anyone left without replies because people in different circumstances don’t feel able to post.
We do have something in our guidelines to say that off-topic posts may be moved, but that doesn’t really apply when conversations just flow - I understand that happens naturally all the time. We only move things in situations where there’s a sudden and complete change of topic (ie, someone has posted a reply when they really should have started a new conversation), or when the change of direction is preventing the person who started the conversation from getting support. (eg, when a more light-hearted chat develops in the replies to someone newly bereaved and very distressed).
And, even then, people don’t get warnings for having posts moved in those circumstances, as I understand it is very easily done and not malicious. It is just a case of splitting off the new topic into a new conversation, so that everyone can carry on with whichever topic they wanted to talk about.
Exactly.
Hi @Priscilla,
Thank you for clarifying that we can post in all forums, as some of the recent arguments were because some people were saying you should only post in the section of grief you have experienced.
I disagreed with that, just because I post in Lost a Partner it doesn’t mean I am saying I know exactly what someone who has lost a partner feels like, of course I don’t, there are things you cannot truly understand unless you experience them, but I post in all sections because I think most people appreciate some words of comfort, and you don’t have to have experienced that particular grief to give words of comfort. I have never posted in @TrishaF’s posts, because they’re very emotive and powerful descriptions of her grief, and I know she will gets lots of replies from people who have suffered similar grief, and there isn’t anything I can contribute to her posts. But when I see a post from someone who has lost her husband, and it has had no replies, what is wrong with me in expressing my sorrow? I usually reply to people who have had no replies because as someone who has suffered with depression, it just makes me sad that that person might be sitting there waiting for a reply and feeling sad no one has still replied.
And @Jobar is correct when she says “A need to express sympathy and join a conversation might be someone’s way of processing their own grief and feeling part of a community”. If you look at the 12th post in “Loss of our son aged 27”, it is a very emotional post by a woman who has lost her mum. She knows the topic is about losing a child, but she wanted to join this conversation to process her own grief, and thankfully no one said anything about posting in the wrong category, this is after all a community, and we should be inclusive, not exclusive.
At least this is all sorted now. Thank you.
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Joules and Abdullah, what you’re saying is so true. This is a forum
for fragile broken hearted people who have been bereaved so why does it make a blind bit of difference where people post. Obviously there are many different circumstances under which people arrive on this site but we’ve all had a terrible loss so can all offer support and love to others who are suffering, regardless of their specific situation. It’s all about caring and offering / receiving much needed support, surely? x
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Yes, bjane. Of course it is. It’s all about unloading. But there are interesting posts on the subject of how to cope. By listening to others who are in the same boat, I have manged to cope a lot better than I would have done on my own. Compassion and caring is what it’s about. Not sympathy, that’s pretty useless. We can get plenty of that from those around us. 
We may need reminding from time to time what the site is about. Bless you and take care. John.
Well said, Everyone’s grief journey is different, it may be The loss of a partner, parent.child,sibling,friend etc! But the way we deal with grief is our own personal journey and there are no rights or wrongs, if you relate to another’s grief and find comfort or guidance In the way they are coping then surely that’s where the main connection is! Not by the category they fall into! you may even have a similar grief journey yourself and be able to offer support or reassurance to another who’s loss was completely different to your own. Grief doesn’t differ by catergory it differs for each of us as we all grieve differently. We should all be kind, we do after all have one thing in common, we have all suffered loss! And we are all trying to come to terms and cope the best we can! We all want to talk about our loved ones and that’s why we are here! Like you said if u don’t agree with what someone is saying, stop there and move on. U don’t need to read or comment! It’s difficult enough without feeling uncomfortable about sharing your grief!
My loss is my granddaughter who died from sids at three weeks old. The day she died a light went out in our lives forever. I will never get over her loss, I have had to accept that I’m changed forever, and now I can walk with my grief alongside me, it is a part of who I am and It always will be. but that doesn’t mean i can’t be happy and have a life, it means I’ll never forget her and carry her in my heart forever!
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Hi. Shjell1717. What a lovely and heartfelt post, and so positive. Although you are in pain you manage to send such a lovely message. I agree entirely. We can always move on from something we may disagree with, or reply in a kindly none critical way. So much unnecessary distress is caused by ‘throw away’ remarks. Words are so powerful and can be uplifting or depressing. I can have no possible concept of what it’s like to lose a child in that way, and at only three weeks old. (I lost my wife), but grief is grief. Yes indeed, we can be happy again and have a life, but we can never forget or cease to mourn inwardly. A light does indeed go out. But I have found that although the inner light is extinguished another bright light appears in the distance and gets brighter. It’s called hope.
Thank you again for such a lovely and understanding post. Take care.
John.
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Thankyou Jonathan For your kind post, I am sorry for your loss as well, And your right we all can have hope Thankfully! ! And I think a big part is that we need to accept that our grief journey is very personal and that it won’t be the same as anyone else’s, it’s been over a year since my grandaughter passed and like I said I accept I will never get over it but I can now live with the lovely memories I have of her! So yes there is hope!
I think so many peopje in deep grief put unnecessary pressure on themselves if they haven’t reached a stage of grief as quickly as some one else. Or are not feeling like they think they should. Because they have read that someone else is dealing with there grief better or differently, we should realise We write our own rules and not to push ourselves before we are ready cos you just keep going back to square one if u do. And then you are left feeling like you’ll never have a life again. Take care
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Shell, how lovely of you to come on here and offer hope to others when you have suffered such a tragic loss. My heart goes out to you. As you so rightly say everybody’s grief and loss is unique to them as is their way of handling the pain, which is why the unconditional support offered on this site is so crucial. Sending love x
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Thankyou. 