Going on alone

Hi Pat

As much as I would love a dog, I intend trying to go back to work - so it may have to wait until I retire . Three years off - by then our cat will be 12 - and may be too old to worry about it. We visited an old friend a month or so ago who had recently lost his wife and he had the most adorable springer spaniel - yes dogs are defiintely the way forward. One of the reasons that put us off before Gary was home all day was the cost of the dog walkers around here- £20 per day for a walk - at the time I could not justify £400 a month just to walk the dog!

It has been hard today being on my own for a fair part of it. But I cooked my daughter a veggie curry for tea - did some washing - and yes I cut the hedge. It is not brilliant but it does look better than it did. Today I kept going back over the day he died - so different things upset me today. I suppose that is normal ? I definitely have to keep busy and at the moment we have ants invading the kitchen- cannot work out where they are coming from… every morning they are marching across different parts of the kitchen…
I am so pleased your dogs offer you comfort - there is nothing like them. One day !
Trisha x

Gosh £20 per walk, I might consider earning some extra money as I’m always out walking. My two are so friendly and well behaved. I can see why you had to reconsider. I was lucky enough to work unsociable hours but they worked well with the dogs and children (when small). My last job was part time so fine.
Try to get one as soon as possible it will help and all that exercise and fresh air is great for you plus I never fail to have a chat with other dog walkers.
Pat xxx

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Agree completely Pat. I now belong to a pug group who hold regular Sunday walks, get involved in fundraising , rescue and welfare too. Plus all the social events for furbaby mamas and papas. The amount of other dog walkers who stop to talk has been uplifting ☆

I am and have always been a dog person, I-we ( Richard and I ) had always had 3 beautiful dogs, sadly all 3 have now gone ( to cancer ) the remaining dog has now been re-homed to a lovely couple with another dog just outside my park-home site which thankfully its a large bricks and mortar house with a large garden so I believe, so I know he is going to be looked after and have a better life, as I cant keep him with having MS, I couldn’t walk him, my Richard done that but now he is gone ( 11th April. )
I would like to think my dog owning days aren’t-wont be over, dogs at one time were my life as was Richard…now I have lost everything that ever meant anything to me…

Jackie…

Love the saying in your message Kate. So true. The love never dies …it’s just so strange not having it given back but I think that’s when time and patience and support and building up yourself and cherishing the memories come in. It’s so hard but we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones…near and far! . to do what we can.
Easier said than done sometimes. I am trying to renovate the house I’ve moved in to…why is it proving so hard to sand walls, paint, do the garden etc etc. I feel so lethargic and yet to see the end result I know will be pleasing. Any hints in how to resume keenness to GET GOING gladly received
Take care out there
Annette xx

It is worth living , you’re right . It’s what they would want us to do, I’m sure that’s what my son Nick wants me to do and I’m bloody well determined to give it my best shot . Most of the time , anyway .

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Hang in there Jackie. It must be so hard for you to have lost your Richard and also the company of your dogs. I do hope you can find a way to getting the necessary support so that you will have have a dog (or maybe a different animal) soon. All the best. Let us know how you’re doing. Annette xx

What more can you do Paul than to give it your best shot… baby steps, one at a time and look for things in life that make you smile. All the best. Annette

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Hi
Thank you - encouragement from others really helps. I woke up this morning and started crying over the silliest thing - but I know my Gary would hate me to be like this and feel it would upset him so going to try my hardest to keep it together. I too feel the need to do something but lack the energy and enthusiasm, so baby steps I guess - maybe tomorrow I will paint one bedroom wall - or even a square of it . It is so so hard- but we all know that.
Jackie - I know you live in a such a remote area but you may find joining a site like nextdoor helpful. I live in London but the site is great for communicating with neighbours and recently people near me have been asking for dogsitters - and there is another site called share my dog or similar. Doggie people love other doggie people and maybe just dogs visiting you would help. Only an idea but maybe worth investigating as there is nothing like a dog.
Take call all.
Trisha xx

Take care - …sorry … xx

Annette…
…yes it is horrible to think back on the time in my life that I had everything I ever needed, then one by one your life as you know it starts falling away- falling to pieces until we have very little left…Yes I cant foretell-foresee what my remaining future will hold, I would certainly like to think that dog, or dogs will become a part of my life once again, I dont even want to be thinking that my dog days have come to an abrupt end, as my late father would often have said to me…" expect the unexpected…" and " you never know what is waiting around that next corner girl…" I am a firm believe in these Idioms of ours, well I never foresaw the sudden death of my Richard that morning-lunchtime of Thursday 11th April…

Jackie…

It’s all very challenging. So hard to get through…the old advice of baby steps is I believe invaluable… you can deal with things in small doses. One at a time. Be kind to yourself. Xx

Agree, please see if there is a way for you to be in contact with dogs, they are so helpful to humans in so many ways. Take your time and then search fro information. Age UK might be able to help you. Pity I don’t live near you I would willingly bring my dogs to see you and they are lovely. very affectionate and full of love, or I would be happy to help out with walks. I very often meet up with dog walkers who walk a neighbours dog for them, so there are some kind people about.
Pat xxx

i am sorry to read your sad news I too lost my husband of 10 year, 1 year ago on May 8 he developed a cough after 5 different antibiotics the GP decided it was time to see what was causing this stubborn cough. 4 days after my daughters wedding we were given the devastating news that the love of my life had small cell lung cancer as a nurse I knew this was not good news this is the incurable and invasive form of cancer no cure just management. sadly the chemo weakened my husbands body so much nit had to be stopped after just 3 treatments then came the radiotherapy we were advised that 21 treatments were to be tried after 5 it too came to a stop that was it nothing more was offered no treatments no consultations nothing sadly he lost his battle this has broken my heart and soul i continue to work breathe and eat i have bought a new house because the memories in the old one are too painful but with all this sadness comes the knowledge that i met my soulmate and experienced the most beautiful love life can offer he will always be missed but it will be with smiles and laughter in public, at his antics, and tears behind doors

Life is so worth it even if it’s made harder from life’s ups and for myself more downs. You obviously loved your husband and was fortunate to have a bond that most of us could ever wish for. The love you have expressed in the conversation shows that maybe one day we might be lucky as you. Many thanks for your kind and loving words.

I didn’t realise that daily life would be so hard, going to work is a distraction but sadness comes in waves, losing my husband to cancer on New Years Day was so heartbreaking to my daughter and I. We also get up, get dressed, go to school and work and accept help.

Thank you Rebecca and I sincerely hope that one day you will have a love such as I had with my husband. I’m so sorry for your loss of your mum. Mums are such important figures in our lives and growing up we feel they will be around forever. My mum passed away at the end of 2012 and never a day goes by without me thinking of her. Me and my sister often talk about her and even laugh now at some of the things mum did or said. I lost my brother too in January 2017 but the loss of my husband has overshadowed everything. However, I agree that life is worth living even through the hard times. Stay strong Rebecca. Lots of love xx